One of the so-called highlights from last night's Grammy Awards featured Jennifer and her obviously more talented husband Marc Anthony trapped in what appeared to be the set from Neil Simon's Same Time Next Year. I was imagining that it would've been much more effective if they had performed the same song in one of those dioramas from the Museum of Natural History's Mesozoic exhibits. The tone-deaf Ms. Lopez as the unwitting next meal for a wild boar or a komodo dragon would have surely brought the crowd to their feet.
I like it best when the Grammy recipients are humble but not apologetic. The group Maroon 5 apologized to fellow nominee Kanye West for winning the Best New Artist award. Siddown, wusses! John Mayer wrote a good song, won Song of the Year, and kind of shrugged there onstage, still trying to convince Columbia record execs that it wasn't a good choice for a single. Gospel rapper Kanye West won for best album and didn't thank Jesus all that much really, but I thanked Jesus for not letting Kanye have his posse onstage with him, which would've been a tight fit anyway with the guy's raging ego and all.
Ray Charles may be cold in the ground but that's not gonna stop Universal from wringing every last drop of publicity they can from his name to sell some more dvds and cds. The Grammy committee made sure Ray won the big awards in the name of love and nostalgia.
There were a few standout baffling moments in the show last night. Melissa Etheridge's baldness was one of them but was later explained by her recent chemo treatments. All the poison therapy in the world couldn't clarify why Ellen DeGeneres was wearing an Iggy t-shirt or who green-lighted that sad excuse for a mash-up musical intro or the embarrassing Tsunami relief group rendition of "Across The Universe", or why Sheryl Crowe is like the Anna Kournikova of music, initially full of promise, now relegated to sucking at the game, dating famous dudes and displaying her abdominal muscles.
As much as we all love the confederate flag, nascar and our weekly Klan meetings, I sure hope last night's seemingly endless Southern Rock tribute featuring Lynyrd Skynyrd closed that hellraiser puzzle box up for another couple of decades at least.
I liked when Loretta Lynn and Jack White won for Best Country Album. Either I missed the winners for the "alternative" categories because I was switching back and forth between Arrested Development to catch Liza Minelli and The Surreal Life to see Chyna and Marcus Schenkenberg or maybe that part of the awards just wasn't shown on t.v. Oh, hell, I really didn't care about seeing Wilco accept awards especially since they beat out The Shins' Chutes Too Narrow for Best CD Packaging, so screw those guys!