How to Procrastinate: Tip No. 7—Seriously, Beware of The Blog

Every time I check out this blog, or post to this blog, or think about this blog, or try not to think about this blog, the insanely infectious Burt Bacharach song “Beware of the Blob” starts up in my skull. Station Manager Ken will think I don’t realize that “Beware of the Blog” is a clever allusion to the B-movie featuring an enormous, hostile liver, but he basically thinks I’m retarded, which means I have to make it clear that I get the blob/blog joke. I get it, but that doesn’t make the loop in my head any less aggravating.

In case you’re not familiar with the tune, I found an mp3 snippet that should be just big enough to lodge itself in one of the furrows in your brain like a piece of popcorn in your back teeth. If you want the whole song (and you have been warned), you can listen for the classic version by The Five Blobs on Dave the Spazz’s show, or the Guy Kluczevek cover on Greasy Kid Stuff. Here are the lyrics, smartypants, in case you think you have managed to elude the Blob:

Beware of the Blob
It creeps
And leaps
And glides
And slides
Across the floor
Right through
The door
And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch
Be careful of the Blob

(repeat x infinity)

The most maddening thing of all is that I have a sure-fire way to delete annoying songs from my internal iTunes. Simply sing, out loud, in its entirety,“Chapel of Love” by  the Dixie Cups. This will erase the offending song while not itself getting stuck in your head, like a refreshing palate cleanser. Works every time.

So why is the Blob beating the Dixie Cups in the smackdown for my limited brain bandwith? 

Next time: smarter-sounding words (for porn).

Comments

[kg]

the insanely infectious Burt Bacharach song "Beware of the Blob" starts up in my skull

Me too. Except I didn't know the lyrics past "across the floor".

[listener jon]

Okay, here is my foolproof method for getting a song out of your head. While "Chapel of Love" is a good one, it can also get stuck and then torture you forvever.

You need a song which takes over another song, then fades itself. This song is "Arthur's Theme." It's a great little number and it will kill any other song, then slowly fade from view.

"Living between the moon and New York City"

For me, this works better than any other song. Thanks to my pal Frederick who was willing to share.

[Volunteer Wendy]

I LOVE the Blob song - nobody believes it's Bacharach when I play it for them. And you can clap along.

My antidote for getting a stuck song outta my head is to sing "Jesse's Girl" by rick Springfield to myself. it's rather innocuous and doesn't actually stick in my head. It's been proven to work even on "The Girl From Ipanema." And that's something!