Admit it, those awful screen captures from the leaked Carrot Top sex video are not an appropriate desktop wallpaper. Don't blame yourself, I too question Microsoft's decision to ship them with XP, but there is hope! Listener Jeff here with some desktop wallpapers that could easily make you the most popular person on your network.
First off, beavers are not friends with squirrels, they're far too smart to be seen with them. Secondly, just for the sake of argument lets say the beaver was “a little slow” or something and decided to befriend a squirrel, they wouldn't value a flower like we do. They are incapable of understanding it’s fragile beauty. That's really what separates the human from the squirrel. Unlike these filthy rodents we've got a little thing called civilization and it doesn’t matter how often they keep me awake all night with there constant scratching and chittering, they ain't never going to be the top dog. You hear that Tufty? NEVER. Maybe if they stopped stuffing their cheeks for a couple minutes they could make something of themselves like their relative the pigeon. That's an animal that had the good sense to quit chittering and do their duty overseas like a true patriot. Countless carrier pigeons lost their lives fighting the Nazi war machine making sure today’s lazy squirrels have the freedom to spend all day jumping from tree to tree, ignorant of the harsh reality of the real world. Notice I didn't mention thieving seeds from bird feeders? That's because incase the name “bird feeder” didn't clue them in, those seeds are FOR BIRDS.
I could go on but in honor of the brave carrier pigeon here are some hyper patriotic wallpapers, which are very hard to find on the internet. We have Lady Liberty/Flag/God, Eagle/Flag/Derby, Flag/Wordy Text and Flag/Bush/Clock/Fear/Lecture. Happy Wallpapering and remember, tiling is so Windows 98.
(Thanks Scary Squirrel World for incriminating information)