I know a secret about Goo and you

Apparently I'm not the only one who secretly wishes Stanley Kubrick had concluded his 1964 film "Dr. Strangelove" with the originally scripted ending (an apocalyptically messy food fight between the characters in the war room). "Gunge" is a movement born of outward lust for slapstick, and inward love of the womb. Do I dare make a graph showing the rise of the gunge phenomenon in proportion to plummeting rentals of "Three Stooges" DVDs (which was obviously a secret front for gunge during the prohibition years). But even more daring, do I make the claim that slime is chauvinist?

It may sound like an academic asshole-ish claim; but is gunge actually womb envy? Since its beginning, there have been willing females involved in gunge, but mostly as models in the more sexual/pornographic realm of it. With exceptions, the core drive of the larger, more non-sexual (on the conscious surface) chunk of the gunge subculture seems nurtured by an adolescent testosterone root, coming from a generation raised on Nickelodeon's "You Got Slimed," who maybe caught a late night cable re-run of "Ghostbusters" while coming down from Ecstasy.

Unfairly shackled to the subculture of "bizarre internet sex stuff" in it's early years because of it's nature, gunge quickly passed over the cliched dank basement dungeon in favor of lush, outdoor forests and summertime backyards, under bright sunshine and amidst fresh air (although to be fair, many gunge session seem to be photographed in bathtubs, for obvious reasons). The inner nest is abandoned in favor of the outdoors - the place of hunting and gathering.

True gunge and it's audience seem to barely skim the surface of sexual interaction, if at all - probably due mostly to it's child-humor value system, it's frequent reliance on clowns, birthday cakes, Keystone Cops-style pie fights, kiddie swimming pools and, most importantly, playroom ritual. Complicated sexuality would ruin it. Gunge seems to finally be coming into it's own as nothing more than a mash-up of male empowerment drum circle retreats, and "re-birthing" gone hysterically literal - but at least with gunge its not considered inappropriate to burst out with mocking laughter during the "therapy process."

MaleGunge.com is a typical meeting places that showcases one of the side-effects of gunge: excellently weird photography. I particularly love this collection. Be sure and also check out the gunge fiction, of which "Hotel Gunge" is a particularly noteworthy/Freudian example. Whether you're trying to crash the 13.5 billion year mark in the evolutionary timeline when the collective unconscious was nothing but a shivering amoeba, or you just like that special feeling you get from being swathed in gallons of vanilla cake batter, shaving gel and food coloring - either way, it's probably good brain food to embrace your ectoplasmic entity (just don't tell mommy).

Comments

[bradley]

sweetheart, your writing's come a light year, you know. maybe you're happier or something, but the deep dish on whatever sintilating topic or cultural artifact you pick is the perfect compliment/antidote to that conceptual air hockey game of a cam you used to make us slave through. stop not.

yrs,
bradley

[marco kjoot]

Tonight I was home alone and really naughty. I dressed up in a short women's pleated netball skirt; white school type shirt; a tie with a school tie look to it; and a Queen's Scout Beret.
I had earlier procured 2kg of Natural Yogurt (kept in fridge so thick not runny). I put a long mirror in the bathroom so that I could watch my own little display.
With a plastic plate I then proceeded to gunge myself with the yogurt. First one in the face; then one on the tie smearing it all over and then one on the front of the skirt again smearing in; one then on the back of the skirt smearing in again; finally smothering the beret.
Dripping form head to toe in yogurt with my makeshift uniform saturated, I was getting more turned on the more I carried on. By the time the 2kg of Yogurt was used I was ready to explode and so did. The best of it was I watched it all in the mirror as I did it. Also natural yogurt makes no mess in the shower another bonus.
Try it, it's such a turn on. If you can get somebody to do it with you then even better.