As promised, I am filing this from the Headquarters of Greasy Kid Stuff West, where Belinda and Hova get up at the crack of dawn every Saturday morning to spin good clean records. Since I am using the Official GKS Computer, I think it would be impolite to ramble through the internet in search of bad dirty things, picking up and passing on god knows what.
So here's what I found in the way of family-friendly smut: pretty pretty penis unicorn shirts. Let's be honest: Male genitalia can be a little off-putting, rainbow unicorns are a little off-putting, but male genitalia sticking out of the head of a rainbow unicorn--well, that's just too fucking cute.
OK, that didn't work. My other inter-generational option was hobo porn. You know, hobos can be a little off...oh, never mind.
More and worse smut when I'm back in New York.
P.S. Belinda and Hova: Expect a dramatic increase in porn spam anyway. You're welcome!