There was a lot of debate in our recent editorial meeting, but this month in the Month of the Month Club we feature...September! There are just a boatload of Months in September. Who needs all these extra Months? Schoolteachers, direct marketers, dj's, and anyone else who can use a cheap programming hook.
Months to Freak You Out:
- National Food Safety Education Month. Slogan: "Keep Hands Clean with Good Hygiene."
- National Preparedness Month. They have a coalition of the willing to freak you out. Slogan: "Get a kit, make a plan, be informed, and get involved," which is about three things too many for me to do. May we suggest: "Keep Hands Clean with Good Hygiene."
- National Ovarian Cancer Month. "'Turn up the volume' on the disease that whispers." In case you were wondering what that shushing noise was down there.
- National School Success Month. You can't buy me with promotional items. Well, wfmu can, but you school people can't.
- National Head Lice Prevention Month. How can you not love a site that says "Welcome to Headlice.org."
- National 5 A Day Month. I'm trying to think of what I have 5 of a day, and I don't think it's vegetables.
- National Youth Court Month. Royal adolescents? Romantic teens?
- National Sickle Cell Awareness Month
- National Skincare Awareness Month
- National Menopause Awareness Month
- National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. They have a coalition of the willing to cough. Arnold Palmer says, "There's no I in prostate cancer."
Months I Can Safely Ignore:
- National Self Improvement Month
- National Women of Achievement Month
- National Library Card Sign-Up Month, which promotes the "Smartest Card." (mp3)
- National Sewing Month. "Sewing: The Alternative Yoga."
- National Baby Safety Month
- National Sports and Home Eye Safety Month
- National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month
- National Courtesy Month. Make that: Months That Can Please Fuck Themselves. Thank you.