The internet gets more crowded and full of crap by the minute. But like you, we find some cosmic significance in trowling its' many crevices and gullies, in search of something more entertaining than "Rockford Files" dialog soundbytes, more stimulating than repeated google searches for "cottage cheese + ass", and perhaps even more (gasp!) creative or intelligent than the crap that wafts downstream via the local newswire. In honor of your undying committment to blowing company time and bandwidth right through the rafters above your cubicle, we are pleased to offer these diamonds in the rough.
Famous Last Words
As spoken by individuals in the moments prior to their government-ordered executions. Not surprisingly, phrases such as "I love you, Jesus" and "Kiss my ass" figure prominently.
Digital Sea Monkeys
Not recommended for eating or as dance partners.
Soviet Anti-Drinking Posters
Ahhh, those Soviets and their posters... Why, they'd put anything on a poster! Coming soon: Dental Hygiene Propaganda Posters, 1937-1939.
Horns of the Devil
And the lame celebrities who would flaunt them. I don't wanna shatter anyone's universe or anything, but it should be noted that viewing that DIO record upside down reveals the word "DEVIL", which you would know too if you'd grown up in New Jersey and slept over at Jody Hunt's house when I did.
A charmingly low-tech, albeit totally pointless game where you control the actions of a pudgy businessman using your computer's arrow keys. Be aware that unlike most pudgy businessmen, this particular one (Carl, let's call him) can fly. In space.
The English Language
Pizza served from a machine
Lo, what the myriad talentless pizza chefs in our midst hath wrought... This might be more offensive that those alleged used girl's underwear dispensers in Tokyo, but that's probably just our Jersey pride shining through.
Learn the origins of Techno
And considerably up the BPM of your next social function.
The skeletal structures of your favorite cartoon characters
Down to the bare bones of it all with special guests Hello Kitty, Tweety Bird, Betty Boop, Eggbert, Pigpen, Blossom, and more.
Radio Free Satan
Now available, like pretty much everything else these days, in podcast form. "Heavy Metal Memories" is pretty OK, and I was as surprised as anyone to learn that I still know 70% of the lyrics to that Anthrax song.
Kyoot Widdle Stuffed Aminals
And the many, many ways in which they can be brutally killed.
Lame Toy Generator
Not so lame, actually. I'm pretty pleased with the Alien-Fu-Manchu-bikini model I just whipped up.
SWAT Team Busts Rave outside Salt Lake City
No more throbbing bass and pulsing beats for you, Mister Drug Dealer!
Antville Video Archive
Hours of distraction here, in the form of free music videos.
Begging your pardon?