For your listening and sampling pleasure, here's a 44-minute-long MP3 of the legendary Criswell predicting what he predicts best - the future, which is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. I know that some of you will write off Criswell as another Ed Wood boy toy, but listen to the predictions he makes here, and you will be astounded by his accuracy. Among Criswell's 1970 predictions that have come to pass:
- The political rise of the American south
- The red versus blue state culture wars
- Genital piercing and ornamentation
- Jennifer Beals and the leg-warmer epidemic
- The great caf-tunic contagion of 2005
- The backlash against liberal Hollywood entertainers
- Homosexual Cities and the Contented Discontents!
And that's just in the first few minutes of this MP3! Eventually, the great Criswell predicts the end of the world for August 18, 1999, which, unless I'm seriously mistaken, also came to pass.