MP3 Download Dinner Bell for December

Olde Frothingslosh  (MP3's)
In the 1970's my brother was an avid collector of independently brewed beer, he belonged to a club that sent monthly samples of the stuff. Well, having read in a book about Olde Frothingslosh, the "Pale Stale Ale" and proudly-self-proclaimed worst beer in the world, 8-year old me was hopping up and down at the prospect of it arriving in the mail like Ralphie in A Christmas Story waiting for his Red Ryder BB Gun. And sure enough, a can of this stuff did arrive for my brother, and I set upon drinking it immediately. The company claimed the "foam was on the bottom", which I didn't quite see, but I was in awe of the picture on the can, a photo of an enormous woman in a bathing suit lying on top of a bear, who had clearly been crushed by her. Turns out the stuff was just really a joke repackaging of Iron City Beer for holidays/collectability, but still, was like Mad Magazine crossing over into real life. Here's a "plea" (MP3) from the company spokesman, and also an excerpt (MP3) from an "official" Olde Frothingslosh newscast, chronicled from a site dedicated to Pittsburgh DJ Rege Cordic who wrote this history of the beer and sort of was the point man of steamrolling the "foam on the bottom" myth.

Worst Audition Ever (MP3)
Tyler and Perry-in-waiting going over their mutual repertoire. 25 goddamn minutes. Thanks to Listener Greg.

Leland Stanford University Marching Band "White Punks On Dope" (MP3)
From Scott Soriano's great Crud Crud blog of vinyl lost treasures comes this stab at the Tubes from an 1979 self-released LP titled Starting Salary $22,275.00. These guys apparently were somewhat of the Animal House of marching bands, though as Scott eloquently explains, they were more or less a "scatter band": "A scatter band is different from a marching band in that it spells out words or makes shapes, instead of marching in formation. In the Stanford Band's case, that meant doing a tribute to the recently kidnapped, Cal student Patty Hearst at the Big Game against Cal (UC Berkeley) by making a formation of a hamburger bun which was missing a patty. During the 1971 Rose Bowl game half time show, the band first spelled out OHIO STATE and then quickly rearranged themselves to spell OH SHIT. This was broadcast on NBC to a national audience. They were banned from the next year's bowl game. In another spelling fiasco, the band first formed HI FOLKS and then shifted the top of the O to the top of the L to spell HI FUCKS. This, too, made it on TV and got them banned." 

 Sister Dora Alexander "Let God's Moon Alone" (MP3)
Listener Art Thompson's New Orleans-based Listener Hour program that aired recently yields this gem. Ah, for the time when the Russians were the Boogie Men of the world.

The Chuck Norris Appreciation Society "Why Chuck Is #1" (MP3)
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Culturcide "Depressed Christmas" (MP3)
Well, needless to say, we need to roll out a few Seasonal MP3's. Here's one hell of a downer Christmas single, a variation on "White Christmas" being mumbled incoherently over a maudlin instrumental bed by Culturcide, in the role of a fellow having just taken a razor and is leaving more for Santa than cookies. Blacks out during the instrumental break, which then just continues through the remainder of the song. Yeesh. Those of you not feeling the holiday spirit better, uh, refrain from downloading this one. Really.

Christmas Rapper's Convention 1981 (MP3's)
Though it's not exactly a seasonal number, it's the Cold Crush Brothers (MP3) throwing down in a very early MC showdown at Xmas Time, up against Kool Moe Dee (MP3) and others, and actually lifting from Terry Jacks' "Seasons In the Sun". From the battle at Harlem World, intense!

George W. Bush (James Allenspach) "The Night Before Christmas" (MP3)
"You can do that when you're the President."

Wayne Butane "A Very Special Wayne Butane Christmas" (excerpt) (MP3)
Wayne is the master of milk-through-nose, zero-attention-span cut-up tomfoolery, with lots of his meticulously-crafted mayhem found at his site here. This is an except of an Xmas disc he sent WFMU last year.

Kids of CPH "O Come All Ye Faithful" (MP3)
An excerpt from a 1978 Christmas LP self-released by the Children's Psychiatric Hospital at the University of Michigan. Definitely evokes the great Portsmouth Sinfonia Project of the 70's as well in terms of pure spirit bypassing actual prowess on one's instrument, plus a great moment where one of the musicians starts cheering halfway through and is chided by the director "we're not finished yet!" Thanks to Scott Williams for pointing this one out.

Below is a digest of MP3s featured in Beware of the Blog over the past month (collected, mashed, and rolled up into a grape-leaf by Liz Berg):

- Musical comics from Megan: grab the MP3 for Merle Travis' "Fat Lady" and check out Listener Ken's illustrative interpretation of the tune.

- Chairman Berger presents a wealth of fab Chinese MP3s of the rocking, glam, and new wave varieties, right here.

- Celebrate the passing of WFMU's smashingly successful 2005 Record Fair with an A-side's worth of vinyl-themed ditties from Station Manager Ken.

- Sing along to anime character Char Aznable's theme song, as you imagine a full-grown Japanese businessman greeting astronauts at the international space station while decked out in full-fledged superhero gear... Captain Ken explains the whole mess on this post.

- Songs of the gay 60s transformed into gay songs of the 60s, thanks to two of our favorite lisping queens, Teddy and Darrel. Removed from the closet by Cabana Boy Ken.

- Mike presents a hilarious account of mixtape nostalgia, leaving you with some hiss-worthy tunes (no dubbing required).

- As the FCC commissioners play musical chairs, hum along to this witty ode to America's smut police, swiped from the Family Guy by Ken.

- Ken unleashes a hearty dose of Criswell's prophecies via MP3 on this post... better than reading the Weekly World News.

- Gertrude Stein speaks, MP3s brought to you by Kenny G.

- Most doctors would agree that listening to this many versions of the song "Tico Tico" is likely to encourage any level-headed citizen to poke their eyeballs out with a fork. Good thing there isn't a level-headed citizen to be found around these parts, otherwise Station Manager Ken might be in trouble.

- See here: a hymn inspired by glaucoma, from the sockets of Mark Allen.

- Bryce dug up this disturbingly dreamy tune, comprised of Microsoft sound effects.

- All hail the Golden Arches, and the tribulations they have wrought upon our intestines. Your cholesterol levels will jump 50 points after taking a listen to so many different versions of the McDonald's theme, presented by Fatty Jubbo.

- Work off those thunder thighs alongside that special someone, using tips from Ken's collection of Erotic Aerobics workout tunes.

- Tons of great power pop from the Yellow Pills compilations, posted for your enjoyment by Hatch.

- Read this post from Ken about broadcast complaints, and take a listen to the enraged TV viewer who was er, displeased with a station's report on crop circles.

- Mommy Dearest-themed MP3s... tons of mad mamas lashing out, presented by Papa Scott.

- Ken rings in the Lord's Appreciation Month with MP3s of the songs from Jesus Christ Superstar in Japanese.

- Language removal (MP3) of WFMU's own People Like Us (aka Vicki Bennett). Listen between the lines of her Do Or DIY program, courtesy of Station Manager Ken.

- If an iceberg moves in Antarctica and nobody is there to see it, does it still make a sound? Ken encourages you to listen for yourself.

- Pop covers as performed by an old-school Nintendo, posted here by Kenzo.

- Grab the MP3 for "Sho' Nuff" by Sly, Slick and Wicked on this post, acquired on the black market in exchange for Small Change's soul.

- Browse through this bio of radio host Bob Lassiter, and be sure to take a listen to samples of the funny-man's on-air antics. Brought to you by the Professor.

Comments

[Mike Lupica]

Two nights ago, I was home, working online, and drinking a lot of Guinness while iTunes shuffled random MP3s in the background. After a few hours, I realized I'd had too much Guinness and was a little bit drunk. That's when the Wayne Butane MP3 rolled into rotation. Short version: NEVER, EVER get drunk and listen to Wayne Butane MP3s. You will feel guilty for laughing so hard.

[just john]

My nominee for Most Depressing Xmas Song Ever is still "Cut My Friend Down" from A lot of People Would Like to See Armand Schaubroeck ... Dead. It's a true story about a guy in the next cell -- there for consentual but underage sex -- who hung himself on "the same damned day that Jesus was born." (When searching for the right spelling of "Schaubroeck" a minute ago, I found this site: http://www.headheritage.co.uk/unsung/feature/armand_schaubroeck )

Myself, I did a non-vocal track titled Sleeping Thru Xmas, which can be found by clicking on my name and following links to my mp3 sites, I suspect.

[PMC]

Wow, that Stanford mp3 totally kills. Who needs "Tusk"?

[Patrick]

Re: Worst Audition Ever
There's actually a pristene sounding version of this on Jeff McDonald's Redd Kross podcast site. The guy playing guitar on it is Robert Hecker, who used to be the lead guitarist in Redd Kross. The sound quality only makes it more painful to listen to.
http://redddkrosspodcast.blogspot.com (episode 5, "Ted", is the one)

[Marq Ramzir]

As Christmas approaches I always pull out a poorly recorded (off WFMU) cassette of D'ANSE COMBEAUX. He sings the chrsitmas standards with a bad french accent to a rhumba beat. It would be great if the MP3s of these songs (there's only about 8 to 10) could be added to FMU's blog. I've turned a few freinds on to D'anse and he's become a part of their Christmas Tradition as well. If only we could get clean versions.