This Week in Sex: Welcome to the Dollhouse

My new best friend is Gonzo. My best "kinky, off the wall friend." My best kinky off-the-wall friend who makes tiny dirty figures. And he wants to make me famous. According to Gonzo, women are big fans of his site, particularly the dirty parts: "The main audience in that section is girls from 18-35, and some up to 55. The guys are more interested in the pro built cars I do. The girls are much more voyeuristic. Obviously they know I am 55 years old, but still want advice on everything from sex to relationships, to whatever. They call themselves Gonzo girls. They also know most young guys are pigs, only interested in themselves, a sort of squirt and run affair. They really have no clue how to pamper or treat a girl. I typically can, and do as much if not more domestic stuff than any girl I know. It is a level playing field. I never expect anyone to do anything that I would not do myself, and sometimes I just do it because they deserve it. In order to keep it, you have to give it away. Leary taught me that. He was the smartest man I ever knew. Nothing is wrong, only thinking makes it that way. Come back to me. THE BOY." I didn't quite follow all that, but I do know that Gonzo says, "Send me some erotic photos, and I will make you famous." He adds, "Always very confidential, I never kiss and tell."

Here's your homework: Suggest a scenario for the Gonzo Amanda action figure (always very confidential, I never kiss and tell, so I suggest you post it in the comments section, which nobody reads anyway), I'll pass it on to Gonzo with some dirty pictures, we'll see what he comes up with, and maybe you can buy your own dirty little Amanda.

Throw it on the Barbie. Ridiculous right-wing pseudo-ruckus over "gender confusion" Barbie.

Underwear is (not) everywhere. Paranoid parents look up Bratz skirts and don't like what they don't see.

All girl action figures. Baby dyke dolls.

Fulla fun. Muslim Barbie. via Nerve

Hugo, girl. Trannie Barbie, Wedgie Bratz, Lezzie Barbie, and Burka Barkie, meet Hugo Chavez, the "dictator-like doll" of the dictator-like dictator.

One-eyed monster. Ragdoll kitty. Totally true.

This blows. Blow-up dolls blown up will give you nightmares. As will the Real Doll Museum, via Fleshbot.

Porn puzzler: Is it a three-way if one of the three is a Real Doll? Or if all of them are frogs?

Batteries not included. Just in time for Valentine's Day: make a chocolate replica of your thingy, with optional motor. Or capture your loved one's breath in a little vial to hold them "forever close." Patent pending, because no one has made little vials before, and there is a lot of competition in the breath-trapping keepsake market.

Just don't do it: how to not masturbate, the Mormon way. How to masturbate, the wanker way.

Under the Table. The Black Table tells you how to get laid, and how not to get laid, the wanker way.

Practice makes perfect. Digital Rectal Examination set includes:

    1 Adult lumbar torso (unisex)
    4 rectal units:
        1 normal,1 rectal cancer A, 1 rectal cancer B, 1 rectal with polyps
    1 prostate model
    1 endocervix model
    1 jar of Vaseline
    1 storage box

If male urethral catheterization, prostate examination simulator, and X-ray phantoms don't do it for you, how about an old-fashioned dead body?

Sew stupid: extreme hymen and butt makeovers.

Got gas?

Predicting the size of a guy's penis by looking at his nose is the new predicting the size of a guy's penis by the size of his feet.

Give the naked Japanese lady drummer some.

Don't go there. Shock sites.

Things my boyfriend says. Explanation: he's Canadian.

No girls allowed. India comes up about 10 million girls short.

Happy-ending new year. Chinese inmates get to have conjugal visits.

Thanks to Smut Station Manager Ken, Fatty Jubbo, and John L. Be a doll and send smut to me at amanda at wfmu dot org.

Comments

[Hatch]

I am TOTALLY buying a Hugo Chavez doll from ebay. Thanks Amanda!

[Darwin]

Marie Claire had a feature on men that prefers the Real Doll. It was a trip to see these 2 guys pictured with their dolls. That article was an eye opener.
A lot of men and a few women do prefer these doll substitutes than an actual human being. Who can blame them? Disease, a lot of drama etc. can put you off.
Anyway, the basic Real Doll starts at $5,000.00 and continues to climb up with every upgrade that you want.
I was websurfing and saw a unique site that blowed up all their inflatable love dolls called www.blowmeupsexdolls.com. It was interesting to examine and see the dolls faces and anatomy up close. The dolls were not "Real Dolls" because of their lower prices but I guess anyone who don't have $5,000.00 lying around can still get a playmate.

[Doll Lover]

This site blow me up sex dolls is sooooo cool, finally someone took the time to show dolls out side the retail box. Highly recommended site!!

[Brad]

Those silicone dolls are nice and really expensive, there is a web site that teaches people how to make there own dolls for really cheap. www.makerealsextoys.com you got to check this site out.