Bucket of Smut. The WFMU Fundraising Marathon is coming up. Up 'til now, our money-grubbing has been pretty much a radio/record fair affair. This year, TWiS breaks the fundraising time-space continuum to bring you blog fundraising. If you are too lazy to say that, you can just say blundraising. It couldn't be easier, which means you will find it incredibly confusing. Here's the deal:
1. You pledge $65 or more to WFMU online now, or by calling (800) 989-9368 from February 27 to March 12.
2. You get all the swag and dj premiums you already get for pledging your favorite show.
3. The new blundraising part: You send an email to amanda AT wfmu DOT org to get in the running for a special prize for This Week in Sex readers called the Bucket of Smut. You don't have to give anything extra. Just send an email to me mentioning the Bucket.
4. After the marathon, we'll pick a winner from the people who have donated $65 or more and emailed me.
What's in the Bucket of Smut? Details will be posted next week*, but here's a peek, with thanks to our generous donors:
- From our favorite pervert Gonzo, 2 figurines: the Dancer and the Wolf. Value: $400.
- From Good Vibrations: DVDs, condoms, lubes, doodads, and a pair of brightly colored Smart Balls (put them in your vagina to make it smarter). Value: can you put a price tag on vagina smarts?
- From Sister Clementine: an adorable handmade Dildo Cozy to keep your best friend warm when you're not around. Value: $36.
- From Penthouse editor and Village Voice columnist Rachel Kramer Bussel, a signed copy of Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z. Value: $15 and a slap on the wrist.
- From Carol A. Taylor, editor of the best-selling Brown Sugar book series, a signed copy of Wanderlust: Erotic Travel Tales. Value: $14.
- From Melcher Media, a copy of Aqua Erotica, dirty stories printed on waterproof paper so you can take it into the tub with you after you muck it up. Value: $16.
- And the proverbial more.
After the jump, the usual crap.
Gay Humboldt penguins in the Berlin zoo are still annoyingly gay. Swedish lady penguins imported to break up the same-sex pairs need to be more ballsy in their come-ons, because Humboldt penguins are almost extinct. Normally I wouldn't advocate a reparative approach, but listen up, lady penguins: put down your copies of the Lady Penguin Rules and break up those homos. Wait, scratch that. Listen up, zoo people: stop hassling wussy lady penguins and coupled-up gay penguins, and set up a penguin sperm bank. Penguins flap their flippers and say yeah.
Write this down: don't put a pencil in your penis. A penis is not a writing instrument, though the idea has its merits.
Halal dating sounds just as horrible as any other kind of dating, with the added bonus of married chaperones.
So, like, I got dumped, and then I blogged it, and then this artist made awesome internet art out of it, and called it the The Dumpster, which is so cute, bc it's like Friendster or Dogster or Catster, but it's totally arty and everything, and there are like billions bits of teenager breakup stories, which must be why it takes forever to load.
Olive oil wresting. Not an Olympic sport..yet. But until then, there's the International Erotic Fair in Turino.
If you're found naked in the wrong room at night, blame cheese. Nude sleepwalking is increasing, and "alcohol, sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, cheese and caffeine are all considered causes."
Thinking with your dick. Men who had penis enlargement surgery were almost always dissatisfied with the results. So what do they want to do next? Get more surgery. Scientists blame spam for the men's unrealistic expectations. I blame cheese.
Putting the ass in bass. Stoneman Guitars promise not to make any more nude instruments after this bass. They promise, I tell you. Whew.
Wondrous Vulva Puppet makes you wonder who pays $400 for one.
Wallpaper for your cell phone by artists. via flavorpill
Driving for two. Is it true that a pregnant woman using the HOV lane claimed her pregnant belly was an additional passenger, or is it an urban legend?
February is Abstinence Promotion Month. But it's a short month. And it's half over. And there are a couple government holidays in it, which I don't think count.
"Did you ever see the Green Acres TV show? The pig on that show is a good example of how well a pig can fit into peoples' lives." Mr. Ed, same thing. NSFW (and totally gross)
Thanks to Ken, Chris T, Evan, Melissa, and all the donors to the Bucket of Smut.
*Prizes subject to change. If you'd like to contribute to the Bucket of Smut, email amanda AT wfmu DOT org. (Just to be clear, I don't want anything with your DNA on it. I want donors, not sperm donors.)