WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Adventures in Amplitude Modulation - Part 12

Well, it’s been a frustrating week here at my little Brooklyn Radio HQ. The main reason is that AM & shortwave reception has been just TERRIBLE. To be honest, I haven’t really dug into the shortwave frequencies much over this last week or so, but several stations I expected to quickly find haven’t been there and others are barely readable. And I can tell you definitively that reception on the AM band has been really awful. Dependable clear channel stations across the dial from places like Louisville, Baltimore, Toronto and Charlotte have been sadly difficult to discern out of the noise. Then again, there also seems to be a number of competing stations stepping on these AM giants, and barely audible stations I’m not familiar with have been showing up at other spots on the dial too. As I've made clear, I’m no radio scientist and I've decided not to spend a bunch of hours researching what's going on out there so I might seem to know what I’m talking about. But what I can tell you is that for the last week or two there’s been a BIG change in radio propagation out there on medium and shortwave, but I'm sure that will all change again soon. If you’re interested, there may be some information on what’s been happening in outer space that’s altering radio reception here and perhaps at a few of these links here as well.

Sensei Rebel's Archive Picks of the Week (3/13/06 - 3/19/06)

Shakeyface came down to the studios on Noah Zark's show and played a few tracks from his impressive release Bicycle Day Boogaloo. A few of those tracks follow the one linked below. From what I heard, the entire album should be solid.

All MP3 and RealAudio links are streaming links from the WFMU Archives.

Rock And Roll
Argent - "God Gave Rock & Roll To You" RealAudio from Diane's Kamikaze Fun Machine, March 16, 2006

International
DJ Dolores - "Trancelim De Marfim (feat. Isaar)" RealAudio from This Is the Modern World with Trouble, March 16, 2006

Experimental
Electric Moog Orchestra - "Cantina Band" RealAudio from Liz Berg's show, March 14, 2006

Dance
Myagi - "Skank-O-Matic" RealAudio from Acapulco Dance Party with Acapulco Rodriguez, March 16, 2006

Jungle
General Malice - "Clubshakin'" RealAudio from Brian Turner's show, March 14, 2006

Hip-Hop
Eric B & Rakim - "Paid In Full (Cold Cut Remix)" RealAudio from Coffee Break For Heroes & Villains with Noah, March 15, 2006

Fave Song of the Week
Shakeyface - "Song For Hank" RealAudio from Coffee Break For Heroes & Villians with Noah, March 15, 2006

Warm My Weiner (mp3s)

To quote the great Tom Lehrer: "I do have a cause. It is obscenity. I am for it." In light of the recent actions by the censors, it seems unlikely that we can get our fix of aural smut on daytime radio anytime soon, so it is even more important to post some dirty MP3s on this blog. Here are nine ten of them, especially for the kids.

Bo Carter - Warm My Weiner (MP3): Probably the only song here which would pass the censors. Bo Carter was the uncontested king of double entendre, and this recording from 1935 is one of the classic examples.

Now let us proceed to the more explicit stuff.

Hencam!

Follow the exciting adventures of Milly, Penny and Tilly on the Hencam, the UK's best online streaming chicken cam!

This Week in Sex: What's Up?!?!

Are you wondering who won the Bucket of Smut? Yeah, that's not decided yet. Like Biz Markie, we'll pick a winner, I'll tell you about it, and then I'll never have to type the words "Bucket of Smut" again. I would advise future fundraisers against naming prize packages anything like "Bucket of Smut," because some good people understandably don't want to contribute prizes to something called the Bucket of Smut, but then we ended up with over $1000 of smutty stuff in the Bucket of Smut, so there.

Billboards in Mexico feature blow-up dolls with the slogan "A woman is not an object." The ads are part of a series dealing with machismo, discrimination, harassment and violence against women. President Vicente Fox got hassled by humorless anti-discrimination groups and legislators when he joked that "75 per cent of the homes in Mexico have a washing machine, and not the kind with two hands or two legs." To recap: a woman is not an object, and a washing machine is not a woman. Feminists make things so confusing.

They have prostitute radio in Brazil. I'm guessing they don't have an FCC in Brazil.

Dirty money. Porno Euros meant to be harmless gag gifts are being circulated and accepted, so check carefully next time someone hands you a € note. Tip-offs: they come in odd denominations like 300 or 600; they say "Eros" instead of "Euro," and they have pictures of naked French Riviera babes or Greek Island guys instead of architectural landmarks. The last one is pretty noticeable.

"'Saying "What's up?!?!' is a good conversation restarter if you run out of something to say in the moment." And other gems from SoSuave.com, part of the not-so-new fad of treating women like crap to get laid.

Everything this woman says sounds dirty. (OK, I made her say only dirty things.)

Faster, pussycat, download, download. Soundtracks from Russ Meyer's movies.

Cast away. This guy likes casts. Also feet, toes, shoes, and fat ankles. But those are just vanilla covers for the casts.

You Radio You MOTHER!!!

As you probably guessed by now, Communication Breakdown is kaput. The last show went out live on February 3. Due to another job change I'm unable to do the show any longer. I'd like to thank everyone who downloaded the show as a podcast or listened live to the three hour or one hour version. My apologies for not saying anything sooner but the job change and a death in my family had me pre-occupied for the last couple of months.

In other news, the Aerial View archives are temporarily suspended while I figure out another way to digitize old aircheck cassettes. I was doing it at my old job and sometimes at home: the old job is gone and the H.H. Scott preamp I ran the cassette into (before being fed into my computer) is out of commission due to a busted 6X4 tube. As soon as I locate a tube the archives will return. Meanwhile, I have an Aerial View treat for you:

The most distinctive soundbyte in the opening Aerial View collage was the one culminating in "You radio you MOTHER!". Over the years many listeners have e-mailed to ask where I found it and who utters those lines: the great 1964 Sidney Lumet film The Pawnbroker is where Reni Santoni, a character actor most familiar from his role as Poppy on Seinfeld, does a searing turn as a junkie trying to sell his mother's decrepit radio. For those who've never seen it, here's Reni's full appearance (QuickTime Movie, 9.7 MB). But I urge you to track down the film itself: like all of Sidney Lumet's movies it's worth seeing, especially for Rod Steiger's nuanced performance.

The Big 1-5

Hello, everybody, nice seeing you again.

This Friday, St. Patrick’s Day, will be my and Sluggo’s 15th wedding anniversary. Fifteen years is a long time—a LONG time. It’s like the sentence you get if you’re convicted of a Class A felony in New York State. But here we are. I could go a lot of different ways with this, but I think it would be nice to tell, again, the old story of how we met.

I was doing the Truckstop Teaparty show from 3:00-6:00 on Friday afternoons, and one week when I got off the air I stopped by to see Station Manager Ken. He was working on LCD (Lowest Common Denominator), the program guide magazine we used to have, and he showed me a cartoon that someone had submitted for it. I figured he was showing it to me because he knew I liked comics—I talked about them on the air sometimes—so I looked it over and said, Yeah, this is good, and handed it back to him. “Did you read it?” he asked. Well, no, I’d just looked at the pictures. So then I read it, and it was all about me, and my show, and this guy listening to my show, and trying to imagine what I was like. And he hadn’t sent it to me, directly, which might have seemed weird or a little creepy, but had just submitted it to LCD. I was so delighted: Here was a talented, funny artist who appreciated my show.

I got his phone number off the business card clipped to the back of the art, called the number—and got an answering machine. “Hi,” I said. “This is Bronwyn C. from WFMU. I just saw the cartoon you sent into LCD, and I wanted to say thanks, and aw shucks, and everything. It’s really good, and I’m, uh, really flattered and happy to have such a nice Listener.”

Just then DJ Rob Weisberg walked in. “Oh, you got Sluggo’s cartoon,” he said. It turned out he knew this guy, Sluggo, from the work he’d submitted to Screw, where Rob was working at the time. It was Rob who’d suggested LCD as another place for Sluggo to submit his work. “Is this guy cute?” I asked. I’d just broken up with my boyfriend—whose name I don’t think I’m allowed to say here—two weeks before, and I sort of felt like that was long enough to be single. Rob said that, being a guy, he couldn’t say whether Sluggo was cute or not, but he wasn’t ugly. That was good enough for me. I called back, got the answering machine, and left another message.

Indecency Ruling Round-Up

It finally happened, folks! The FCC has just released a steamy batch of decisions concerning alleged cases of indecency on television. After cooking in the ever-efficient bureaucratic easy-bake for up to 4 years, the feds made up their minds regarding pending TV complaints at long last.

We urge you to thumb through the decisions (and footnotes for added comic relief): 2004 Superbowl Halftime (aka nipplegate) | Without a Trace | Batch Decisions (aka Omnibus, including The Surreal Life 2, Billboard Music Awards, The Blues: Godfathers and Sons, The Simpsons, etc.), so that you can laugh along with us. Then cry. Here's a wrap-up of what the FCC's been discussing for the past year or so (your tax dollars at work)...

Not OK
- Simulated teen sex and making out (no nudity) between hetero couples, girl in bra and panties engaged in implied group sex, all during a flashback segment for a rape investigation (Without A Trace, CBS). Pricetag: $3.6 million! Because teens don't have sex. Or get raped. Ever.

- Split-second of exposed nipple (2004 Super Bowl, CBS). Pricetag: $550,000!

- Pixelated breasts, the kissing of pixelated breasts, spanking, pixelated nude women, and Ron Jeremy's mere presence (The Surreal Life 2, Pool Party Episode, WB). Pricetag: $27,500.

- Non-nude rape scene (Con El Corazon En La Mano, Telemundo). Pricetag: $32,500.

- Topless woman with pastie-covered nipples (Fernando Hidalgo Show, WJAN in Miami). Pricetag: $32,500.

- Visual and vocal allusions to masturbation, thong-clad women bump-n-grind, spanking, vocal allusion to anal sex, female-female breast and butt-fondling, fully-clothed oral sex simulation, fully-clothed lap dance (Video Musicales, Aerco TV, Puerto Rico). Pricetag: $220,000.

- Repeated utterances of "fuck" and "shit" in a non-Saving Private Ryan broadcast (The Blues: Godfathers and Sons, documentary produced by PBS, aired on non-commercial community college station KSCM-TV). Pricetag: $15,000.

- Shit, holy shit, horseshit, bullshit, oh shit, shit-eating, owl shit (The Pursuit of D.B. Cooper, KTVI-TV, St. Louis). Pricetag: $27,500.

What could be more entertaining than an entire federal commission utilizing tons of public resources over long periods of time to mull over the merits of the term "wang" and argue over whether Janet's pastie-covered nipple was exposed for 19/32 or 9/16 of a second (I told you to read those footnotes)?

Double-standards ahoy
Fuck and shit are ok in a broadcast of Saving Private Ryan, but not a blues documentary? Brief, fleeting frontal nudity is ok in a broadcast of Schindler's List, but not during the Super Bowl halftime show or a talk show? Pixelation just isn't enough to protect the public from naked boobs? Non-nude scenes that merely imply sex aren't kosher any longer?

And let's not even begin to pierce the surface of the glaring racial and gender politics weaved into these decisions...

High Fashion from New Zealand

Here we see Robert Scott of the seminal Clean spinoff band The Bats, performing live last week at Maxwell's in Hoboken. Robert's looking sharp in WFMU's Baby Gopher t-shirt (designed by Renee French in 2002) and proving that even in far-flung corners of the globe like New Zealand, freeform radio is digging in deep and making its mark. Thanks for the props, Robert! Now, allow us to reciporcate with a bunch of great Bats tunes (Real Audio) from the WFMU archives. Latecoming fans of jangle pop bliss, allow me to introduce you to your new addiction:

"Bells" (from Monica's show)
"Chicken Bird Stomp" (from Rob Weisberg's show)
"Daddy's Highway" (from Irwin's show)
"Made up in Blue" (from R. Lim's show)
"Mastery" (from Brian Turner's show)
"Things" (from Liz Berg's show)

Thanks to Rob Weisberg and to Katie of Special Pillow for snapping the pic!

Luixy Toledo and Michael Jackson (mp3)

(This is not really a new story, but nearly all of the references on the Internet are in Spanish, so it might be news for the English-speaking world. And it comes with two MP3 files.)

Luixy Toledo (real name Luis Valverde Resino) is a Spanish composer, musician, and actor, who seems to be pretty famous in his home country, mainly for being an outrageous nutcase. He talks about his sexual experiences in his former life on Mars, claims that our solar system has 12 planets, and has other interesting theories. His songs deal with issues like AIDS (MP3), Lady Di, and life on mars. Since he and Michael Jackson were both born on August 25, Luixy sent Jacko several of his songs as birthday presents in 1969 and 1974, among them one called Exorcismo. When Luixy heard Thriller in the 80s, he realized that he got screwed. However, a court ruled that the similarity was purely coincidental. Judge for yourself: Luixy Toledo - Exorcismo (MP3)

According to this source, Luixy has a second version of the story: He wrote Exorcismo in one of his previous lives in medieval Italy, and Jacko's former self was also around at the time and snatched it from him. I have to admit, I like this one better. But why in Italy and not on Mars?

Video: Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia 2006

Videos of WFMU DJs Drunkenly Singing Karaoke. Below the fold.

Unless this is the first time you've ever been in front of a computer, I'm going to take the liberty of assuming you know that lots of people here on the internet like getting wasted, singing karaoke, and then expecting you to be interested in downloading the video.

At least we only do it once a year...

WFMU's 2006 Fundraising Marathon wrapped up on Sunday night with the 6th annual performance of our in-house karaoke band, the Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia, featuring a rotating cast of more than 30 DJ vocalists you know and fear from freeform radio central. Over the last six years, the annual marathon finale has become as much a part of WFMU's general upkeep as seeking out weird shit to play on the radio for you is, and in spite of the general irreverence we show towards the classics, the event itself is something we place terrifying (some might say "ridiculous") importance upon.

Bandleader Scott Williams (seen above contemplating his next radio program in the home and garden section of Sears) tirelessly wrangles it all in his own unique style, arranges band practices, seeks out air raid sirens when necessary, and generally deserves far more accolades for it all than any mere blog post scribed by my hand can offer. (So to that end, a bunch of us dragged him out to Maxwell's last night and got him Jan Hammered.)

Thanks to the skills and labor of Beware of the Blog author Jeff T, who voluntarily burned vast quantities of midnight oiI for the cause, I am pleased to hereby offer video of the entire performance in easier-to-swallow-than-a-five-hour-webcast capsule form. Consider the songs, their meanings, and the miraculous powers of alcohol as you click on each DJs name to download .wmv files of their performances. (Most are in the 3-5 MB range.)

Gimme More Octopus (videos)

(7 videos below the fold.)

Yeah, WFMU made its goal of raising $850k in the marathon, thanks to everybody who pledged! As promised, here are more episodes of Kure Kure Takora, aka Gimme Gimme Octopus, a Japanese children's TV series about an octopus and a peanut who are in love with a walrus. A few days ago I received the 4 DVDs with all episodes, and the video quality is much better than on the "Best of" DVD. I haven't had time yet to view all of it, but I might post some more episodes in the future.

This Week in Sex: Trouble with Gender Trouble

Making fun of how out of touch the New York Times is...well, it's like shooting your hunting buddy in the neck. Just not sporting. But I'm a bad sport. I don't even do sports. I do things like metaphors.

So I'll just politely wonder how long Times writer Daphne Merkin's space capsule has been adrift, and how ground control finally reached her, and how they downloaded her oxygen-deprived, trippy-dippy, gender-bendy Sunday Styles piece (login required) inspired by Judith Butler's 1990 Gender Trouble. Yes, that would be the book that launched queer theory, oh, last century. It's almost enough to make you want to listen to Kenny G sing theory. Almost.

And when did spacey-folkie Devendra Banhart spin out of the wfmu orbit into a cloud of Dior and Gaultier, leaving us to eat his dust in T-shirtville?

If you are not one of the NYT Select, take a tip from Monica and go back to the sexually chaotic future-past of the Cockettes. The Times will probably do a piece on them soon--they're gonna be big in the '70s. Century tba.

The 17

It's been a while since he heard news of pop-art svengali Bill Drummond, but nice to see he's up to his old media manipulation tricks. In the 1980's Drummond was an early manager of Liverpool post-punk psych legends Echo and the Bunnymen as well as the Teardrop Explodes, trying to come up with various ways to make them both bigger than the Beatles (though disastrous business ventures like buying one large PA for both bands to share didn't help matters). In the late 80's after working A&R for WEA, Drummond wrote a sprite little pop-folk record called The Man, which featured a song calling for the death of the ex-Teardrop Julian Cope in order to sell more records. Meanwhile, he also became a below-the-radar pioneer in post-Eno ambient music with his group the KLF, also headed the Timelords, who had a huge hit chart hit based around the Dr. Who theme. Another outfit, the Justified Ancients of MuMu, made headlines by getting sued for sampling Abba only to park outside the quartet's offices blasting the music accompanied by a prostitute that looked like Agnetha, and they also drafted Tammy Wynette to sing on a techno track (she also performed with them on TV). At the height of success the KLF said goodbye to the music business by performing death metal in front of industry bigwigs on a TV stage culminating in Drummond spraying fake machine gun fire at everyone. Oh, and they allegedly burned a million pounds in cash at an abandoned boathouse in front of a journalist.

The Mario the better

Two Super Mario Brothers videos for you. First, a fight scene Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill with Mario sound effects. Next, a race between two master Mario players to finish playing the entire game. Amazingly, it takes both players only about 6 minutes, and the assembled audience loves every moment of it. For more Mario fun see Liz Berg's posting of a cappella Mario music and Mario music performed by an orchestra.

Disturbed...

...yet oddly transfixed (wmv, 1.6 MB).

Thanks Andy!

Sensei Rebel's Archive Picks of the Week (Special Marathon Edition)

To me, the marathon has always been more about DJ camaraderie and on-air horseplay (i.e. shenanigans) than about music. It's also the only time I listen to every show my fragile mind can handle. In case you missed anything, here's a few memorable moments from this year's fundraiser.

All RealAudio links are streaming links from the WFMU Archives.

DJs Pseu Braun and Rex made for my favorite tag-team this year. I recommend listening to the whole shebang. Pseu would want it that way. (Listen: RealAudio) from Pseu Braun's show, March 3, 2006

Clay Pigeon gets to know some of the ladies at the station. It was nice to hear the Professor, who was co-hosting with Ken, back on the air too. (Listen: RealAudio) from the Dusty Show with Clay Pigeon, March 6, 2006

Professor Dum Dum and Kenny G... and an angry volunteer... need I say more? (Listen: RealAudio) from Professor Dum Dum's Lab, March 13, 2006

Andy Breckman gets flushed, courtesy of the Wheel-o-Fate. (Listen: RealAudio) from Seven Second Delay, March 8, 2006

Billy Jam interviews Ice Cube (from 1990) / the return of $mall Change. (Listen: RealAudio) from Bring That Beat Back with Billy Jam, March 1, 2006

DJ Trouble's son Desmond (or DJ Icepack as he's known in the hood) on the ones and twos! (Listen: RealAudio) from The Listener Hour, March 11, 2006

The Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia with Tom Scharpling singing "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf. (Listen: RealAudio) from the Marathon 2006 Grand Finale, March 13, 2006

Adventures In Amplitude Modulation - Part 11

In a real way, this post finally begins to realize the intention of this series. I come to you after a number of recent safaris of shortwave listening, and now if you’ve got a few minutes to listen a humble radio travelogue is about to begin.

In other words, a couple weeks ago I had a chance to finally spend some quality evenings at my Brooklyn apartment with a couple of radios and logged what I found. And as usual, I recorded the results. Over the course of the next few posts in this blog series you’ll be able to hear some of these dial scans.

While I’d rather do this kind of listening far from the big city, that hasn't been possible for me lately. So instead, I set up a listening station on my kitchen table, which is about as far from my computers and household electronics as I can get here. Yes, there was some residual RF-- a bit of buzzing, and whirring and crackling from time to time, but I was pleasantly surprised how most stations really overcame the noise once I got a hold of them. But I do love the rural glory of hearing SILENCE between shortwave frequencies.

What makes this different from all my previous shortwave listening, is that for the first time I’m getting a real idea of where many of the foreign language broadcasts I find are actually coming from. I’ve enjoyed shortwave since I was a kid, but I’ve never seriously logged what I’ve heard, or spent much time trying to ID non-English broadcasts. Doing this blog series has given me a good reason to research the overall potential of shortwave listening. And it’s been interesting.

Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia: The Monster at the End of This Marathon, part 12

This is it, the last day of the Marathon.  Tonight, we're all gonna get ripped and put all this fundraising madness back in the closet for another year -- so here's hoping you've made your pledge!!

Tonight, we're trotting out several dozen of your fave WFMU air personalities to celebrate the 6th Annual Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia Marathon Finale.  They'll be belting out the song in their hearts for your entertainment (and ours) to the accompaniment of a live karaoke band.  For now, here's one last look back at a Marathon Finale from yore -- it's Station Manager Ken, closing out the 2003 Marathon Finale with a truly startling take on a scene from Blazing Saddles.

Ken Freedman "I'm Tired" (mp3 for download, 7.1 megs)

You should've been there, Ken really nailed the physical presence of Madeleine Kahn!  Check out the webcam tonight, who knows what'll go down!  The Finale gets underway at 7pm and shall continue right up to about midnite.  Keep calling 1-800-989-9368 - and keep pledging!

Money, Voodoo, Elephants (mp3s)

(All links are either to MP3 files or WFMU pledge pages. You'll figure it out.)

I am still in a WFMU fundraising marathon frenzy, so I don't have time to write long posts. Instead, here is some music specially written for this occasion.

• Wild Man Fischer - It's A Money World (unfortunately this is true, so go and pledge)
• Art Paul Schlosser - Needs More Money (he is talking about WFMU)
• Mike Russo - Your Dad's Got Money Cha Cha Cha (and he should spend it on amazing swag)
• Cathy Berberian - Can't Buy Me Love (but for $45 you can get the sexy Eat Flaming Death, Fascist Media Pigs T-shirt which will get you laid)
• Wing - Money, Money, Money (Wing is the official representative of WFMU in China, and she wants your mouse)
• Tiny Tim - Remember Your Name and Address (and your telephone number, too, that is all you need for pledging)

But it doesn't stop here, we even have some advice what to do after the marathon: Get yourself two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, and remove that voodoo discharge from your lower orifice. That will make you feel much better. By the way, if you don't pledge, you will be raped by elephants and burnt to an absolute crisp. You don't want to mess with the WFMU elephants, so hurry up, pledge today, and put yourself on the map!