I've got 800-989-9368 on speed dial, and I'm calling the station regularly to make my marathon pledges. When I say I'm "staffer Amanda," there is usually a pause. The phone room volunteer says, "Are you the Amanda with the dirty blo--", and I cut them off, because I am not dirty. The stuff I link to is dirty, but I went to mass on Ash Wednesday. So after we clear that up, I put down my money and make up some comment to be read on the air. When I called in the other morning, the phone room was loud, and the volunteer couldn't hear what I was saying. I was at work, where I try to keep my dirty blog business to myself. So finally I crawled under my desk and shouted, "Tell Scott that DIRTY BLOGGER AMANDA SAYS, 'IF LOVING SCOTT IS WRONG, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT!'" When I crawled out, my coworker was looking at me funny and said, "What was that about?" I was thinking, "None of your fucking business, asswipe," but since I am not dirty, I kept it to myself. (ASSWIPE.)
(P.S. I'll be kicking around the phone room during Greasy Kids Stuff on
Saturday, March 4, 10 am-12 noon. On Sunday,
March 5, I'll be co-hosting Gaylord's show, 5-7 pm. You'll be surprised
how un-dirty I can talk. Call up and say hi. And get in on the pledging fun.)
Squeezy kid stuff. Don't do the nipple twisting crime if you can't do the nipple twisting time. "A teen who pinched and twisted another boy's nipple while standing in line at a deli has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention because he refused to write a letter that explained his actions." He's already paid a $67 fine and done three days of community service, but he's not writing a letter to the guy (asswipe) who tattled on him.
Good bra fences make bad neighbors.
A New Zealand man is resisting demands to take down hundreds of women's bras strung on his farm's fence, according to a Local 6 News report. For years, women returning from a pub in the nearby town of Wanaka have stopped at the fence and removed their bras. A local sheep farmer, John Lee, has become the unofficial guardian of the site.
"They have got a magic quality about them, bras," Lee said. "For me, they have all my life."
Lee defended the bra-adorned fence, saying 90 percent of letters he receives about it (like the magical bras) are supportive.
Our Bucket runneth over. There's a new addition to the Bucket of Smut, the $700+ worth of prizes available to anyone who pledges $65 or more to any WFMU show and also emails amanda (at) wfmu (dot) org to get in the running. This is a freebie, folks. You already gave, so throw your hat in the ring. Details here.
Iranian policewomen do everything Iranian policemen do, except backwards and in burkas. Link to video. (Thanks Hatch.)
Misconceptions. Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan said he wanted a new town in southwest Florida that he was bankrolling to deny residents access to abortions, pornography and contraceptives. Then he took that back. I'm reassured. I take that back.
Track back. "The Republican Party of Minnesota is under fire for distributing a CD that aims to drum up support for a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage while collecting digital information about the CD viewer."
Freak show. The National Museum of Health and Medicine is dedicated to tracing the history and practice of medicine, but you're really going to go there for the medical oddities like the deformed fetuses, the giant hairball, and President Dwight Eisenhower's gallstones. The museum is currently in the Walter Reed Medical Center in Washington D.C., but that base is being closed and those facilities are being moved to my homeburb of Bethesda, Maryland. Walter Reed was close, but how cool would it be to have a medical curiosity cabinet practically in your backyard?
Foreplay, afterplay, and long-afterplay. Is there sex after death? I'd stick with the hand you were dealt.