Too bad they never existed.
Here are the contents of a Shuttleworth Family demo tape that made the rounds of the cassette underground in the mid-1990's before being roundly dismissed as a hoax. And like so many good hoaxes (and especially the Linda McCartney Hey Jude tape, I wanted to believe it so bad that it was hard to accept that it wasn't real. When I first got a copy of the tape, the late great Vanilla Bean told me that the tape had been submitted to a British record label as a genuine demo tape. Upon playing it on the air though, listeners started reporting to the Bean and I that the tape was a fake.
It turns out that the demo tape was merely the first incarnation of John Shuttleworth, a creation of British comic Graham Fellows. BBC Radio 4 actually did a four-part radio series in 2004 called The Shuttleworths, which can be downloaded via Graham Fellow's wikipedia page. Fellows also has created a John Shuttleworth homepage here. (Fellows also recorded the punk-novelty hit Jilted John: [streaming realaudio link from Mosurock's 6/3/2002 show.]
Pictured above: John Shuttleworth, as I imagined him. Below, the contents of the mid-90's tape. The Shuttleworths were so much more fun when I thought it was real. But the voice of Mary Shuttleworth really should have tipped me off - she sounds like the female voices of Monty Python's Terry Jones. But I wanted to believe. Which is the mark of a good hoax.