Off to see the Wizmark. Wizmark is a gizmo used for toilet bowl advertising--make that "interactive urinal communications," which we sure as shit need more of. Wizmark claims to be based on "the unwritten rule" of men's room etiquette: never stare at the dude next to you. But it really seems to be based on some other unwritten rule, like the desire to pee on talking advertisements. Where can you check out this pee-activated back-talker? Long Island, of course. What's next, a toilet bowl theme restaurant?
(Above, a sample of the lenticular Wizmark. Lenticular means that when you move the image flickers. Should you really be moving around while spraying urine? I'll never understand guys.)
Hot diggity. Get your dog on at Schnack's hot dog eating contest on Memorial Day. Or be the biggest dick at your bbq with this novelty wiener cooker. Do us all a favor and don't give your dog beer and donuts or she'll end up morbidly obese and on the last five minutes of the 11 o'clock news.
Dress code = no dresses. For guys, that is. Kevin Logan wasn't allowed to attend his senior prom in a dress.
Teenagers having sex these days are drunk and dumb. And I was so sober and smart.
I know it when I see it. "It" in Indonesia may soon be kissing. Ten thousand people, many of them women, demonstrated in favor of an anti-pornography bill that would punish public kissing with five years in prison.
How to make shrunken heads. Or you can just buy them: XS, S, M. (Why no L or XL heads?)
MUM's the word. The museum of underpants is my favorite thing at the rickety online Museum of Menstruation. (Elsewhere, panties in a bottle come new or pre-worn. Or you could just BYOB and drink while you look at the underpants museum, put your used panties in the bottle, and sell it on the internet. Except that would be gross.) I also like the tampon directory, which has the story of the Fibs tampon of the 1930's. Let's make up slogans for Fibs. How about, "Fibs, your little white lie. Shhh." Your turn.
The Vagina Lady, who looks a little like a happy, pink Martha Graham, has 1500 words for you-know-what. There are at least that many sites that make coinpurses and candles and fluffy things that look like...um..damn...what do you call that thing? This pillow is supposed to be a vulva but it looks like a slab of bacon to me. And there are more vulva puppets out there than you can shake a stick at.
Honestly, there's a lot of interest in vaginas. Someone should really figure out a way to make some money out of them. The real ones, not the pillows and the puppets. I'm gonna think about this and get back to you if I come up with something.
Crazy Ass Sex Toys. My work for the week is officially done. NSFW
OK fine. It's a long weekend. You can have one spin on the hand job machine for the road. Now go.
Thanks to Ken, Trent, and probably some other perverts like you who sent me stuff at amanda at wfmu dot org.