Forget about the fact that "666" is in fact a divine typographical error, derived from God's keyboard having a sticky "six" key.
Pay no attention to those cynics who say The Big Man sold out, modeling today's "Halloween in June" after the Santa-Lovers' "Christmas in July."
Pretend that the decades of crass commercialization that's took the "loose" out of Lucifer never happened. I'm here to remind you what The Dark Lord is all about: Growling. Talking backwards. Retching. Kissing the Goat. All that good stuff.
Let's start with a little trip to Hell. The Devil's not allowed back into Heaven, but Jesus has an open invite to Hell any time he pleases. That's just the kind of guy Satan is. And here's a found cassette tape to prove it. The Professor found this in a thrift shop and added background effects to a wondrous tale called Jesus and I Go To Hell: download the MP3 and take a map of Hell along with you.
And speaking of Santa, here's an excerpt from a Christmas-themed Mexican film that Megan dug up, in which Satan tries to spoil Christmas by getting young Lupita to steal a doll. Santa ultimately clouds Lupita's mind, but the last laugh is on her when she find herself surrounded by creepy lifesize dancing dolls: [download video, 27 megs, Windows format]
If you missed it last Halloween, here's a 70 minute megamix of horror music and sound effects, much of it recorded on location in Hell: download The Horror MP3
Here is an MP3 of a Satanic Mass in which goats get kissed and the band Coven realizes that this black magic thing's just not working out: download Coven's Satanic Mass
Want to hear Robert Plant singing about the "little toolshed where Satan made him suffer?" Jeff Milner's backmasking site awaits.
Messerchups has a hot little music video called Go, Satan Go! [download video, 10 megs, mpeg format]
Don't forget to mind your skronk and grind with Stefan's Metal Genre Education Kit.
Fatty Jubbo's beast-astic guide to Exorcism recordings.
And lest you think I'm just rehashing all the Satan-based fun we've had here in the past, there are 21 more MP3s to Hail Satan by, beyond the jump:
The White Noise - Black Mass - An Electric Storm In Hell