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« Margie Brandon - Live At Clancy's! | Main | World Cup Death Watch - Update 2 »

June 16, 2006

This Week in Sex: Party Girl

0099_01_20099_22_2F— that. When was the F-word first bleeped? How does 1698 sound?

Chicks. You've probably been given a Chick comic gospel tract on the subway. Now read them all online. And if you get religion, you can order them and start spreading the homophobic, prayer-in-schools, anti-partying message.

Make love, not war. The U.S. military considered developing a gay bomb that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Other ideas included a fart bomb, a bad breath bomb, and a swarms of angry wasps bomb, ideas which had been previously developed and abandoned at WFMU staff lunches.  

Think of England. After a win, England's World Cup team is allowed to have sex. And that no-sex-before-the-big-game-myth? It's a myth.

Sperm smells. Let me rephrase that: Sperm have the ability to smell.

Crystal_vibratorSex sells. The new upscale Soho sex shop Kiki de Montparnasse can say what it wants about being a "lifestyle brand" that "empowers exploration of fantasy and communication of desire," but in my book if you sell cock rings and vibrators, you're still just a sex shop. Even if the cock ring is a diamond tension set cock ring for $795 and the vibrator is a Swarovski Crystal encrusted art vibrator for $150.

Where does smegma come from? Horses. Dead horses. In a post about earwax and other bodily excretions, PZ Myers cites a 1947 paper that helpfully says "Smegma is best obtained from dead horses in rendering plants or from anesthetized animals in a department of veterinary surgery." Myers continues:

The other distinctive thing about the paper is that it is one of the more disgusting experiments I've read about. The authors were testing the potential carcinogenic effects of smegma, and the experiment involved making up slurries of smegma and smearing it or injecting it into folds of skin on mice, and assessing their health. It had to have been a big job, slathering 400 mice with smegma every week, and treating another 400 control mice with ear wax.

Bull_semen_collector_3The carcinogenic effects of smegma, according to Myers and common sense, are unproven.

Where does bull semen come from? Robots. Cow robots. Breeders in New Zealand have developed a giant metal cow on wheels that the bull mounts.

1296_4_009Smile, asshole. Don't keep your favorite street harassment moments to yourself. On hollabacknyc.com, women take cell phone pictures of guys who annoy them, and share the love. Apparently dudes will pull out their thingies almost as fast as women can pull their phones out.

Superman is a dick.  But you can't blame him for wanting to thwart Pat Boone.

How to disappear in America. Only for "people thinking of running from an abusive ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, not for people tryng to avoid paying child support." I learned that total destruction of an automobile can be accomplished with long-grain rice. And arson is a violent and dangerous crime. I think the thing with the long-grain rice is just a summons.

Give me a buzz. Turn your cell phone into a sex toy.

The headache excuse is not gonna work anymore. People with migraines are hornier than the rest of you. I would have told you that before, but I had a migraine and I was banging some dude.

The history of blowjobs. So 1996.

The history of buttocks. In art.

0099_01Thanks for sharing. Pictures of what looks like an Orwellian version of an orgy (NSFW). Nothing like the international incident in 2003 with 400 businessmen and 500 prostitutes that lead to the headline Japanese Orgy Hurts Chinese Feelings. Orgies can be tricky things, people.

TWiS Bathroom Break
.

Obscenity prosecutions on porn industry have intersmut producers debating if they should present a united front or cover their asses.

Take a free ride. On Saturday nights from midnight to 3 am, RightRides gives free rides home to women, transpeople and gender queer individuals in parts of Brooklyn. Find out how to volunteer,

No mo HoJo. The Howard Johnson's in Asbury Park is closing. Heartbreaking.

Thanks to Ken, Michael and Zoe. Send intersmut to me at amanda at wfmu dot org.

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Comments

500* people doing the same thing altogether, so Japanese. OK everybody, undress. Ok, now feel tits. Ok, now blow job. OK, now do doggie style, etc.

My question is did they all come together?

*500 prostitutes but only 400 businessmen leaves 100 prostitutes available for non-hetereo sex.

Here's a cool site a friend made with a Chick tract

http://aphid.org/CA/

Chick: He wrote me a letter once, should I go and get it?

For that matter, wish we could post links.
http://home.rochester.rr.com/rdfox/knockknock.gif

walking by the HoJo's in Asbury the other day I saw a large "reopening soon" sign; not sure what the deal is but maybe there is hope ...

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