This Week in Sex: Hump Day
Hello, Wednesday! New day, same time, same smut. Who cares? Probably only me and Megan, who gave up Hump Day and now starts her weekends off with a bang and a regular Friday post. Thanks Megan! Keep it clean.
Stripper gets a hand. Linda Kay, a Goth stripper at the Hott (sic) 22 club in Union, New Jersey, kept a hand called Freddy in a jar of formaldehyde on her dresser. She also had six human skulls. They were discovered after police responded to a report of a man threatening to kill himself with a hammer at her house in Plainfield. Speculation is that the hand came from a fan who was a med student (it appears to be roughly chopped off), but the skulls were ordered on the internet. Her mother said, "She has a flair for the dramatic." Kay was arrested and released on $100,000 bail.
Pricasso. OK, Pricasso is a dumb name, and painting with your penis is a dumb idea, but a penis painting of Bush seems so right.
Kim Jong Il has a secret wife. I am so pissed off at him! Wait until I start my obviously-fake billboard campaign accusing him of cheating on me.
Toy stories.
- There's a new toy in town, and by new I mean a hands-free pink cone-shaped thing, and by town I mean the U.K. I don't quite get The Cone commercial--everyone fondles it at a dinner party, and then grandma takes it home and puts her dentures in a cup. I guess you are not supposed to wear your dentures when you use the cone. Got it. via gizmodo
- A vibrator that hooks up to your iPod rocks your world to the beat of your personal love groove. It connects to your iPod with a "freedom cord," so it seems very patriotic. via wired
- Penistron. An internet wanking device. It doesn't matter if whatever is on the other side of the internet is real. "You could still have sex because it's just data." (youtube account required)
DIY vagina. To get "that taste": 1 block of soft tofu, 1 can of 100 per cent pineapple juice, and salt.
Sex: "the killer app of space tourism." Space hotels better work on their brochure copy. At a recent space conference, panelists discussed the fantasy and reality of space sex, and the reality is kinda un-sexy: "Sex in zero-G is going to have to be more or less choreographed. Otherwise it's just going to be a wild flail."
Flying squirrels have sex. Not in space. But it involves male screeching and corkscrews and plugs, confirming my dislike of squirrels. via 3yen
The Wank-a-thon will be televised, part 2. Channel 4's Wank Week will also feature a programme on a guy who masturbates 20 times a day, but they need another participant. Compulsive masturbators can apply here. (How many jobs can compulsive masturbators apply for? Go for it!) Can't we lend them someone from America's Got Talent? (Wank-a-thon info from last week here.)
Not your momma's garden gnome. Naked garden sculptures.
Kiwi lawyer protests New Zealand's old boy's network by wearing old lady clothes.
New Chinese site for non-traditional "asexual" marriages.
Why do grandmas exist? Daycare. And chocolate chip cookies. But mostly daycare.
Thanks Ken! Send smut to amanda at wfmu dot org.
So why was this *Goth stripper* arrested??? $100k is alot of lap dances.
Posted by: steve PMX | July 26, 2006 at 11:55 AM
...For anyone who would know or care, the stripper with all the skulls/hands was the bass player in the early 90's NJ emo band Lifetime. Real weird...
Posted by: tony rettman | July 26, 2006 at 02:53 PM
Said exotic dancer was charged with improper disposal of human remains. Latest news is that she skipped out on her court appearance and the judge revoked her $100K bail.
Posted by: Krys O. | July 26, 2006 at 04:24 PM
She sounds like a total badass. I didn't know having human skulls would carry such a hefty fine/jail time. Unless of course you murdered someone and then had that person's skull in your dressing room.
Nor did I know that you could order human skulls online. weird
Posted by: steve PMX | July 26, 2006 at 04:57 PM
britney spears responds via mcsweeneys
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/27britneyspears.html
Posted by: jason | July 26, 2006 at 09:02 PM
Flying squirrels sex with screeching and corkscrews and plugs maybe fun, but out of the tens of thousand of porn films available to researchers visiting the Kinsey Institute library, Wardell Pomeroy confided in me that the all-time favorite film by a factor of ten was "How Animals Do It", the Dellenback's films of animal sex behavior. (Think, "What comes in buckets?" or "Do porcupines really need to use the Missionary Posistion?)
L8r...
Taro, in torrid Tokyo at http://news.3yen.com/
For reference:
http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/about/photo-tour.html
Posted by: Taro, in Tokyo | August 02, 2006 at 08:41 PM