Hey, it's the Friday before Labor Day! For all the poor souls stuck at work this afternoon, here is an instructional, hypnotic, short film* (23MB) to help you kill the time until you can get out and savor those last drops of summer.
Remember these things:
a) Like gigantic slow zombies made of rock, Asteroids are the enemy. So are those flying saucers - they're not friendly E.T.'s collecting plants throughout the galaxy: they are slathering tentacled beasts and they are firing at you. Destroy them all.
b) The best offense is a good defense. As a back-up plan, another good offense is to not stop shooting.
c) Keeping your ship of death in the center of the screen is part of a good defense. Staying stationary and in the middle lets you worry about one less variable when things get hectic, and gives you the advantage of what The Art of War calls The Ground of Intersecting Highways: "He who occupies it first has most of the Empire at his command."
d) Finally, the hyperspace button is useless, at best, and fatal, at worst, especially if you accidentally hit the button while dozens of rocks are whizzing around. Avoid using it at all costs.
Feeling shooty? Want to play? Then hie your time-wasting butt over here, already. Unlike WFMU's beloved juego de arcada, the online version is in English, and assumes that one actually cares whether they can see the entire screen or not. But don't let that put you off. You've been primed. Go get 'em, tiger!