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November 18, 2006

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Mark Allen

I remember I took a shop class in the 7th grade when my family lived briefly in Pennsylvania. There was a black and white safety "scare" film that they were supposed to show to all wood/metal shop students at this school, that supposedly was very graphic. Reportedly it showed a long 2'x4' being shot shot off of a power saw that didn't have the safety on, flying across the workspace and impaling a young guy who then just laid there on the floor with the thing through him, blood everywhere, the dramatic music swelling and the credits rolling; "Always follow safety procedures." I think also an old guy lost a thumb on one of the lathe saws in another scene in the film. Anyway, the film was made in the late 60's I think, and was very, very tame. Chocolate syrup for blood, etc. But actually seeing this supposedly "scary" "awful" film became the entire focus of the one semester class. Everyone in school knew that if you took this class you got to see this "gore" film, and it was all anyone talked about. You have to get your parents to sign a permission slip to see the picture. And you could also get permission to skip the class the day it was shown in case you thought you might faint or something. We spent so much time and energy in the class talking about the film, from day one, and when we were going to get to see it, and who was going to faint or throw up or whatever - I mean literally it was all that we talked about in the class, even the teacher - every day! We got into long philosophical discussions about appropriateness and gore and horror film ratings and stuff. The teacher told us that we "may want to skip lunch" on the day of the film, which some people DID! After all the talk, all the planning and permission slips and debate - the day came when we finally DID get to see the incredibly tepid film. People brought big paper bags in case they threw up and couldn't make it to the bathroom, it was like mass hysteria! They had the school nurse waiting outside in the hall of the class in case anyone passed out or exploded from fear I guess. Anyway, after it FINALLY happened, and the lights went on, and we were all like "that's it?" even MORE philosophical discussions about blood and gore in film commenced. Anyway, by the time we finally saw it - there was barely enough time left in the class for the teacher to teach us how all the power saws in the class worked, or learn anything about wood craft. We all had to make some little toy truck, and people literally were unfinished by the time the class was over and it was summer. The teacher just gave people "A's" anyway. It wasn't a very good school.

Goyim in the AM

Although this was originally made as a parody of safety films (and has been a big success at European film festivals), it has apparently been embraced by industrial trainers who actually show it to forklift trainees. Really.

Check out http://www.staplerfahrerklaus.de/, although the English language section is pretty pathetic.

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