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December 08, 2006

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JT

I loves you DK.

No worries: I'd already pegged your age. But this story is AWESOME. Can I tell it to my suburban neighbors and pretend it was me?

I once was so stoned I saw a cockroach circling on the edge of a 13th floor elevators record I was listening to (okay, maybe BHS) (I definitely just outed my identity to 5 people who don't give a shit) and on closer inspection, I saw that it *was* a roach - the stub of a marijuana cigarette. You can use that story if you like.

Kisses (hehe - I'm sure you LUV that).

P.S. The Melvins doth rock. I'll be buying their new rec. based on the two tracks you played yesterday. I'm a long-time fan and I'm happy you continue to flog their greatness.

Max Winston

WOW!
Man, that is such a damn funny story!
How amazing! I'm suprised you're even willing to share that with the world.
Freaking hilarious!

If I had eaten before I saw the Melvins for the first time, I think I would have crapped meself too. Especially when the played "Brain Center at Whipples", I always remembered what that song sounded like. THankfully without the added poop.

ResidentClinton

I actully DID poop my pants once thanks to The Pot. I was in my room by myself, high as a kite, and flipping through a bunch of random blank tapes I found in the thrift store.

One of them had Air Supply's "The One That I Love" on it and I started really getting into the song - singing it out loud and emoting. And then, at a pivotal moment in the chorus, I did a little crouch, "Here I am...". And there it was.

But cut me some slack, I was only...um...30. I have since sworn of drugs and Air Supply. Okay, not really.

tonesfrommars

For years now, whenever I go into a record store, particularly used record stores, and spend more than 5 minutes browsing, I suddenly have a strong urge to crap. Moments after leaving the store, it's gone!! Anyone else have this experience? Is it just me? I want to do a study on this. Is it because I make my living as a musician? Is there a subliminal crap-inducing beam they've installed in the store to make people buy more cds? Someone please help me figure this out.

eBay Wendy

Diane,

Awesome story. Poop stories are great.

I have one not so fantastic, but bodily-functon-riffic just the same.

Many winters ago, when I was still living in New England, I was down in Jersey visiting my Dad and Step-Mom. I was sitting in the back of their luxury Cadillac, on our way to somewhere or other, when I got the horrifying feeling that I'd peed my pants. I felt this intense warmth beneath me, and I had this sensation of the warmth emanating from my center, pooling and spreading to the edges of my butt, going down my thighs. I panicked. I was so embarrassed. How could this be? I wasn't even stoned. Not even drunk. If anything, a little bored. I was in my mid-20s. Far too young (and old) to have no control over my bladder. How would I tell them? My Dad likes to tease people. Would I have to suffer this moment for years? Did I even bring an extra pair of pants with me for my weekend visit? Sigh... maybe I should have stayed in Vermont...
Then I looked over to the console on the door and realized I'd hit the "seat warmer" button - something my little car didn't have. I'm still laughing about this years later.
True story!
-Wendy

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I always remembered what that song sounded like!!!!!

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Elisabeth

Hilarious story!! Thanks for sharing! I laughed out loud.
Tonesfrommars- my ex and I had that same phenomenon in thrift stores usually based on how good they were (the better ones rating an almost immediate need to go #2). We would rate them as such and decided it was because they made us so excited it affected our stomachs. It seems to happen to my 4 year old now with toy related places.

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