At the risk of being pigeonholed as the Girl Who Writes About Crazy Cursing Dudes, I bring you Mark from New Jersey. Mark has far-ranging theories on time travel, Armageddon, roulette and Donna Summer (the DEVIL!), which he angrily discusses in various telephone conversations.
Station Manager Ken clued me in to this fella recently. He was given a CD called "The Meaning of Life." The back copy states that it was made from a cassette found on the side of the road bearing the same title. He's really difficult to listen to, for a couple of reasons- The recordings only capture Mark's side of the conversation and they seem to have been recorded either by a microphone placed somewhere in the room or possibly while Mark was standing outside on a windy day. More importantly, he is insane. Completely, violently insane.
Mark claims to be both a time traveler and a descendant of King David. His family will bring about the apocalypse through the activation of the Christ Android, currently dormant inside the 12 Planet. And also that the 50 richest families in the world are trying to do him in. Covertly, of course. Also against him is Donna Summer, the Devil. (Whether he means the disco Donna Summer, or WFMU's own Jason Forrest isn't clear.)
Here then, are three selections from Mark's version of reality:
If you need more Mark from NJ, Aquarius Records would be happy to sell you a cd-r.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cover my windows with aluminum foil.