WFMU's Beware of the Blog

World Cup Death Watch - Update 5

With only two days remaining until the final, the World Cup Death Count stands at 63, almost as many people as have died worldwide of Avian Bird Flu.

Four people died in France during the celebrations that followed France's victories over Brazil and Portugal. An 18 year old Parisian reveler died after he fell off the top of a subway car he was riding. A 20 year old French woman from Lens died when her car crashed, as she leaned out the window in celebration. Another Frenchman was killed by police after he opened fire on a crowd of loud fans outside of Monaco who were celebrating France's win over Brazil. (This is the second case  during this World Cup of someone firing bullets into a crowd of loud soccer fans - see Update One. And a man is feared drowned in Lyon after he jumped off a bridge into the River Saone with a group of friends. Meanwhile in Somalia, there has been a second case of Islamist fundamentalist gunmen firing into a cinema full of people watching the World Cup in contravention of Sharia law, killing two. See Update One for the first case. Chinadaily is reporting that eleven Chinese people have died of what is now being called "World Cup Syndrome," which consists of watching a match and keeling over and dying, usually of a heart attack. Since I had reported only nine Chinese deaths, this report will add two more to the count. China remains the nation with the most World Cup deaths, all the more strange since the Chinese team did not even qualify. But for all the deaths in China, at least one television set has survived the mayhem.

This Week in Sex: Fuck-thirty

The New York State Court of Appeals ruled against same-sex marriage yesterday. But hey, Austria has a legal gay marriage involving a M2F transexual who is now married to a woman. And we all have intersmut to keep us warm at night.

What time is it? Fuck-thirty. Timepieces with naughty images on them. on sexculturas via boingbong 

And the day is Naked Car Calendar Day, but it's Upscale Naked Car Calendar, so it's cool. And Sophia Loren is going to be in the Naked Car Calendar, and she's old enough to be your grandmother, so that makes it cooler. But also creepy when you put it like that.

Hail, Estonia! You missed it this year, so start training now for next year's annual wife-carrying contest in Finland. The prize: a computer and your wife's weight in beer. Here's all you have to do: 1) get/become wife, 2) get/become Estonian, because they have a lock on wife-carrying, 3) carry/be-carried-as Estonian wife across finish line before all the other Estonian wives, 4) compute weight of wife on new computer and drink free beer.

Double trouble. The bikini, like Dubya, is 60 years old. Coincidence or Rove plot to distract us from sagging poll numbers? A Brief History of the Bikini slideshow (slideshow means you can look at pictures if you don't want to read).

Dude, take a cold shower. Hot sex in hot weather can kill you, say fear-mongering doctors. Dr. Norbert Bachl of Vienna's Sport Medicine Institute says getting over-excited in the heat can be fatal, so if you can't have sex "calmly" during the day, do it in a cold shower. But betting on World Cup games gets you more worked up than sex, so it might be even more dangerous. My new business plan: OTB's with showers.

"How to look good naked" is a new tv show BBC television programme. So, how do you look good naked? My answer was going to be "wear clothes," but it turns out on the programme they suggest you wear clothes.

How much gas do you release a day? A. one cup, B. one half gallon, C. one gallon, D. I don't know, but I measure in BTUs. Answer: The flatulence guru knows all. And also where to get the washable and reusable dog thong fart neutralizer you've been looking for. "Flatulence Odor Control Products for Those Who Care!" And who doesn't care?

Lend a hand. Position open: sperm tester job for couples (gay or straight). Apply here. You have to write a personal essay that begins "We would be great Sperm Testers because...", but you only get 15 words to complete it. Think you can do it? Finish the sentence and post it in the comments section: We would be great Sperm Testers because...

Heino and Nina Hagen Together At Last (video)

Here's everybody's favorite albino crooner and psychotic
teutonic chanteuse giving the old lip-synch heave-ho to
Hi-Lili, Hi-Lo:

[download mpeg video, 10 megs, or youtube it].

July, 2006 Blast of Hot Air

Posts from this point on down are from the July 2006 Blast of Hot Air, WFMU's monthly e-mail newsletter.

Finding Missing Persons

Missing Persons, yeah, they weren't kidding!  I've just come off the ol' information superhighway where I was looking for some Missing Persons -- with caps, you know: the band Missing Persons.  Not easy.  Missing Persons clearly never anticipated the internet search engine when they were tossing around band names.  Them and  Berlin.  And Them.

Reason I've been hunting Missing Persons is my recent rediscovery of this great song: "Mental Hopscotch" (Real Audio archive).  I wish I could remember how it felt as a 12-year old to find this song hanging out at My MTV.  I do remember developing a major crush on singer Dale Bozzio, probably because she wore big pieces of see-thru plastic on her boobs and I was 12.  Yeah, her and Terri Nunn - from Berlin. Anyway, here's the smokin' vid for you to download (offsite):  Mental Hopscotch smokin vid

There's actually a nice bunch of videos for you to download on this page.  All the hits are there - you remember!  "What are words for when no one listens anymore?"  (hear it on Irwin's old Gender Bias).  And how about "Destination Unknown"?  Great stuff.  Mike Lupica just played that song on his radio show this week, that link'll take you to straight to the mp3 archive of his show. (It expires on 7/24/06 - after which, you'll have to settle for this realaudio link.)

Briefly, Missing Persons came out of Frank Zappa's group.  This may partially explain some of what they're up to now.  Founding guitarist Warren Cucurrullo (don't go there), after a long spell with Duran Duran, became Guitarist as Athlete.  He's now got a shaved head, a soul patch, and bulging pecs and used to make porn on his website.  Bass player Patrick O'Hearn (don't go there either) is now a top-selling New Age artist; keyboardist Chuck Wild (oof!) is an "active investor"; and Dale Bozzio (her website's down) occasionally tours as Missing Persons with an entirely new line-up, which includes this guy. 

What is it with these people and the bulging pecs & soul patches?

Keep reading!  Jump the flip!

MP3 Download Dinner Bell for July

Pint-Sized MC Extravaganza
MORE MP3s from Da Hip Hop Rascalz, which is a project for NYC professor/composer/musician Dave Soldier, the man behind such projects as the Downtown-via-Mississippi group the Kropotkins, and recordist of the legendary Thai Elephant Orchestra. Last year, he put up a few MP3s on his site of hip-hop tracks written and arranged by various East Harlem schoolkids age 5 through 10, who kick out the jams under the recording supervision of himself and Elena Langer. Despite the fact there's been no previous exposure to this, and there's no inherited legacy ala Li'l Eazy E at work, these kids turn out to be sporting some talent, and we're thrilled to see that even more tracks are up. Check out MP3s of: "I Don't Want You No More" by TuffKidz, "Jumpin'" by ABC Group, "Xtreme Team Funkydelic Mix" by Xtreme Team Funkydelics, "What's My Name" by Boys and Girls Club of the Night, "Chicken Wing" by Looneytunes, "Do the Lollipop" by Sweetness, "Feel Tha Beat" by Los Nonameos, "Woke Up" by the School Rock Band, "I Want Candy" by the Muffletoes, "Barney Mac" by Hiphop Skyhigh, "Schooldogs Rule the Halls" by the Muffletoes, "1 2 3 Go" by 911 Rock n Roll Coyotes (my favorite group name), "T Rex" by Chelsea and the Mighty Lions, and also two tracks by Dave's nieces, "Ghosty" by Isabella Azoff, and "Happy Go Lucky Day" by Michelle Azaroff. What is most affirming about hearing this stuff is how into it these kids seem, and unlike some of the spotlight-hoggers being clearly manipulated by their money-hungry dads-slash-management (no Bow Wow vs. Li'l Romeo court action), instead the Rascalz project allows for total (albeit uncommercial in the eyes of Jive, Def Jam etc) creative freedom. I played the Sweetness track on the air (my fave of the lot) and midtown listeners reported the Def Jam offices were locking down and everyone was going home.

It needs to be said next that Kriss Kross owes a lot to Troy the Wonder Boy, whose "jump jumps" seem to have gotten lifted pretty brazenly and somehow I suspect a check was not drawn up (I'd make the same comparison for House of Pain if they were kids I suppose). But even without that parallel ,the single for "Electric 1000" (MP3) reigns as one of the most insane kid moments committed to vinyl, Troy sounds like an asthmatic Herve Villachaise inside microwave popcorn bag. The boogie electro factor is supreme, the human beatboxing is from outer space. I say committed to vinyl, though I personally don't own it, wish I did. This comes off a cassette (so excuse the secondary warble at the beginning!) I recorded when Gimme Gimme Records' Dan Cook and the late great Lynnfield Pioneers played and spun crazy jams on my show back in 1999. I've only seen one other record around online, under the monicker "Troy the Wonder Boy and Duck" selling around the $50 zone, and one can only guess what Duck is up to. If anyone has any more info or MP3s of our boy, please get in touch!

Finally, our own Jason Elbogen points us to yet more sounds from the Rappers Delight Club, 2006 recordings, "First Ladies Club" (MP3), "Hum" (MP3), "Tick Tock" (MP3), "We're Not Done" (MP3). Keep your eyes peeled, at some point, DJ Monica promises a full comprehensive look at hip-hop kid history here on the blog.

Off-Mic DJ Activities for July 2006

Like our man Skip Engblom once wisely declared over a vodka-and-papaya-juice cocktail, "these are the dog days." The heat of the summer has descended upon the city like a viscous mayonnaise smeared at the hand of some demonic deli counter monkey. Thank the god of your choice that WFMU is here to offer the sort of reprieve from sticky-necked summer blahs that's normally afforded only by air-conditioning or trips to see your parents. The heat factor, World Cup hangovers, and all related negativities aside, the WFMU staff is as busy as ever both here at the Magic Factory and beyond the boundaries of our hallowed halls too. Here's a quickie roundup of what's what, who's been spotted where, what fingers are in which pies, and how you might plan your month so as to take part in it all.

Ever the spotlight hogs, WFMU's staff is all over the press, both digital and print (the latter of which really only impresses our parents anymore, but we don' t wanna hear about that...) As you may have heard, Plug & Play's OCDJ is soon to set sail for his summer touring activities like some kind of glitched-out Sonny Crockett. He'll be transporting himself along with three other artists on an east coast tour via sailboat that'll be making stops in fabled port towns up and down the coast such as Cape May, Wilmington, and Norfolk. Read what the Philadelphia Inquirer has to say about it all right here.

DJ Compilation of the Month: Subway Music MP3s

From November 2001 until May 2002, Dan Bodah's Airborne Event program featured a weekly dose of free-range sounds from both above and below the streets of New York City. It was called The Subway Music Series, and it featured wildly varied music- everything from drum squads and Chinese erhu players to classical guitarists, bagpipe marching bands, and down-on-their-luck soul singers.  Dan's 2003 marathon premium, Beautiful Sounds from Under the Ground, collected the best of these recordings on one CD. Here are all nine tracks as MP3s. You can see all of our previous DJ Compilations of the Month right here.

The Ewlis Mason Quintet   |   Drums On The Number Six Platform   |   J. Darryl Williams

Ayan Drumming in Times Square   |   Sax Duo Saco and Erica at Columbus Square

Dimali Drumming in Union Square   |   Thai Erhu Music at The Port Authority

Tin Pot Drummer at The Port Authority   |   Nelson Singing a Medley at Castle Clinton

(Photo by Marcus Hartel.)

Recent Faves from the New Bin

Li-Jianhong - Drama Script (2pi)
Called by Zbigniew Karkowski the best noise musician in China, 31-year old Li-Jianhong has become a central cog in the blooming Shanghai/Hangzhou experimental scenes as both a sound artist and one of the most physical, gut-destroying axemen wielding a guitar west of Keiji Haino. Occassionally but not frequently enough we get hints of what is going on in the Chinese underground: Beijing duo FM3, creators of the now-famous Buddha Machine, have checked in with some glowing reports (and we're happy to report they listen to WFMU lots! Thanks guys!), and while the music isn't selling vast quantities outside of small circles, it is getting a reputation both home and in Europe, China, and the USA. A few years back Hong Kong-based Post Concrete Records issued a snapshot of the scene called China: The Sonic Avant-Garde, as well as amazing music from Dajuin Yao, and these days 2pi Records (run by Jianhong, site seems to be down) is flowing with strange sounds that reflect the explosive nature of their cultural/social surroundings. At times, his playing sounds like an entire field of crickets exploding one by one (Real Audio) other times it can be an all out physical assault (Real Audio) with no effects on the guitar whatsoever. Daring, visceral music, hopefully one day to be witnessed stateside. Here's some more info about other Chinese sound artists.

WFMU Podcast Bonanza

Did you know that WFMU now podcasts 17 programs? Interested in filling up your MP3 player with sexy, downloadable, digital freeform? You can follow instructions, right?

1. Fire up the ol' iTunes
2. Go to the Advanced menu and select Subscribe to Podcast
3. Copy any (or all) of the program name links listed below (right-click on a PC or control-click on a Mac, select Copy Link Location), and paste this .xml link into the Subscribe to Podcast URL window in iTunes.
4. Click OK. You are now hooked up, brothers and sisters!
 

Aircheck
Do or DIY with People Like Us
The Dusty Show with Clay Pigeon
Downtown Soulville with Mr. Fine Wine
The Secret Museum of the Air with Citizen Kafka and Pat Conte
Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy
Thomas Edison's Attic
Coffee 2 Go with Noah
The Speakeasy with Dorian
Aerial View with Chris T.
The Best Show on WFMU with Tom Scharpling
Dave Emory
The Antique Phonograph Music Program
Professor Dum Dum's Lab
Audio Kitchen with The Professor
Sinner's Crossroads with Kevin Nutt
The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment

If you are linguistically-challenged and require pretty pictures to go from zero to podcast, we've got you covered! Giddyup, and ride your pony over to WFMU Podcast Central: be sure to check out these easy-to-follow instructions, gratuitous screen-shots and all.

Radio News You Can't Use

FCC Summer Menu
Just in time for a party-line battle over relaxing media ownership regs, FCC Chairman Kevin Martin posed for a chummy photo (left) with the VP of XM and a high-rolling telecom lobbyist (who also moonlights as Bill Frist's lawyer), which appears in the June/July issue of Details Magazine. With nothing but the playing cards' -- er, the public's? -- best interest in mind, Martin is looking to use his republican majority on the commission to revisit loosening media ownership restrictions (a similar ploy failed to fly past the courts in 2003). The commission's democrats are raising a stink over the issue, hosting community forums that examine big media's ability to deal with local issues and underrepresented viewpoints.

Meanwhile, on the Copyfight Front...
A House committee met to discuss the merits of audio and video broadcast flags, which will prevent consumers from legally "taping" or transferring legally-obtained programming between their satellite radios, MP3 players, Tivo, DVD players, and TVs. Public Knowledge submitted an excellent written statement to the committee in opposition to both flags, which you can read here. Of course, the content industry would like to charge consumers multiple times for viewing/listening to the same work, but that's just because they don't understand how to use the digital revolution to their financial advantage. The RIAA and music licensing industry prefers to send nasty cease-and-desist letters to kids who post fan videos on the internet (how dare you enjoy our music!), while at least a few TV and movie companies have finally embraced digital technologies, discovering new ways to make money and create buzz by partnering with YouTube.

FCC Remixes Doreamon
As you can see in the side-by-side comparison to the right, the FCC's Kidszone page mascot gently samples more than a few qualities from popular Japanese cartoon character, Doraemon. P2Pnet reports that the FCC claimed ignorance when the cartoon's creators raised the issue a few years ago. The Dinosaur Gardens blog uncovered even more fun with the FCC: they've posted an MP3 of Cary Grant singing the federal requirements for station identifications, which you can grab right here (Thanks, Kim).

Embezzlement at Seton Hall
A former director of the very metal student radio station WSOU in South Orange, NJ, was recently arrested for embezzling over half a million bucks. (Thanks Mike and Therese!)

Manilow,  Every Single Day
A commercial radio station in New Mexico recently took up an all-Barry Manilow format. (Thanks Bryce!)

Get To Know Zach Galifianakis

I must be out of my mind, having sold out again to the American Dream, with a mentally exhausting job, and a mortgage in North Jersey that I can't quite afford.  Me used to be cool guy.  WFMU DJ and shit.

You read my writings here.  Get to know me or not.
I may be a bit more nuts than average, but hell, I'm no Zach Galifianakis.

Zach Galifianakis looks like he parties hard, gets into fights regularly, and may be in need of serious psychological help—he's also the new saint of comedy in our overpriced home.

Perhaps you were fortunate enough to see his very short-lived series Late World with Zach on VH1, or his stint in the film and tour The Comedians of Comedy.  He was in Tru Calling on Fox with Eliza Dushku for 1.5 seasons.  Currently, he's cast in an uneven 1/2 hr. ensemble "fake news" show on Comedy Central, but his contributions are brilliant.  It's almost as if someone at the network knows he's a genius and is just making sure that the guy has a job.

(Speaking of Comedy Central, Carlos Mencia is so unbelievably unfunny—do you find his popularity as shocking as I do?  Carlos Mencia is Gallagher with the words "retard" and "beaner" as his mallet and watermelon.)

There aren't any real jokes or bits that I could recite or recount from Zach's repertoire that would resonate with anywhere close to the original impact.  The colonial-era standup comic routine in Comedians of Comedy had me in tears.  Let's just say Zach uses high imagination, confrontation, and a visionary skill to debase himself, being somehow scary and lovable at the same time.  He delivers esoteric routines and cheap gags with the same venom.

Fiona Apple knows the greatness of Zach Galifianakis.  Her "rejected" album, Extraordinary Machine, spawned the defiantly uncommercial video for the song "Not About Love," featuring Zach as the singer's mouthpiece, critic and interpretive dancer.  You can download that video here from videos.antville.org.

Here's Zach Web site, where I'm told one used to be able to order a DVD of the Late World show (my personal efforts have been unsuccessful.)

Perhaps the secret's already out about Zach Galifiniakis amongst the blog-chewing underground hipster set.  Like I said, I'm not a cool guy anymore, not as up on things as I used to be, but I just had to say something.

Fuck me.  Get to know Zach.

Sites for Sore Eyes

Dreamlines
Punch in a few keywords, wait 10 seconds, and your computer will produce a fuzz-enhanced "dream" for you to enjoy while in the waking state. Any similarities to the real world turning into the one predicted by B-movies of the mid 1980s are entirely terrifying.

Earworms
Short term memory is being underutilized, so what better way to help you keep your personal laundry list in order than a computer program that sets it to something that sounds like a 4th grader's rendering of the "Axel F" theme? (Streaming Quicktime movie)

The Air Conditioned Shirt
That's it, I'm throwing away my computer.

The Pitch Drop Experiment
More exciting than watching the grass grow, but with the bonus of Australian college students milling about in the background!

80s Music Video Index
Gloriously assembled with no regard for aesthetic or genre, thank god. The hits you love from the Angry Samoans, Al B. Sure, and onward.

Isolatr
In the age of Myspace, Friendster, Soulseek, Flickr, Dodgeball, Facebook, Netflix, and countless other online communities, Isolatr is just what you need to finally be left the hell alone.

WFMU Heavy Airplay List

WFMU Top 30 compiled by Music and Program Director Brian Turner

(click on artist name or compilation title to hear a sample tune in Real Audio) 

Various - Tetes Lourdes: Francais Metal de Proto: Le Super Rock Serie 1970
(Seidr)
16-17 - Early Recordings 1982-1989 (Savage Land)
Matmos - The Rose Has Teeth in the Mouth of a Beast (Matador)
Juana Molina - Son (Domino)
Nick Garrie - The Nightmare of J.B. Stanislas (Rev-Ola)
Faun Fables - The Transit Rider (Drag City)
Various - Eccentric Soul: The Big Mack Label (Numero)
Dom Mariani - Popsided Guitar: Anthology (Citadel)
Tengir-Too - Music of Central Asia Vol. 1 (Smithsonian Folkways)
The Suspicions - The Suspicions (Rip-Off)
TV-Resistori - Serku Rakastaa Paremmin (Fonal)
Family Affair - Revive (Fern)
Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped (Geffen)
The Four King Cousins - Introducing (El)
Sao Paulo Underground - Sauna: Um, Dois, Tres (Aesthetics)
Dinosaur Make Out Party!! - Dinosaur Make Out Party (Dolor del Estamago)
Geese - Hooked Up To a Bag...With Geese (Grot Industries)
Current 93 - Black Ships Ate the Sky (Durtro/Jnana)
Stella Chiweshe - Double Check (Piranha)
Neil Young - Living With War (Reprise)
Los Negritos - Speed-Merengue Mega-Mix 2005 (Rather Interesting)
Beirut - Gulag Orkestar (Ba Da Bing)
Eliane Radigue - Adnos I-III (Table of the Elements)
Jospeh Holbrooke Trio - The Moat Recordings (Tzadik)
James Blackshaw - Sunshrine (Digitalis Industries)
Matt Bauer - Wasps and White Roses (Crossbill)
Mochipet - Uzumaki (Component)
Don Howland - The Land Beyond the Mountains (Secret Keeper)
Roger Rodier - Upon Velveatur (Sunbeam)
Various - Tete de Bebe (S-S)

Scenes From The Record Fair

Oh, also...

Santo Gold’s “Blood Circus”

I was recently explaining to Jim about a funny late-night UHF television commercial that I used to see all the time in the late 80’s which featured famous actress Nancy Kwan, explaining the benefits of a product called Pearl Cream and showing clips from her film The World of Suzie Wong. My friends and I used to love it, and quoted her heavily-accented line readings about “pewl cweem” all the time. We recently looked for the old commercial on the web and unfortunately couldn’t find it (if anybody can, please let me know!), although we found that the product is still in production, and Kwan is amazingly still their spokesperson. But... this entry has nothing to do with Nancy Kwan, because suddenly Jim shouted “Look for Santo Gold!” Having no idea what Santo Gold was, I punched it into Google and a zillion hits came back...

WFMU in the News: OCDJ Sets a Course for Adventure

This week, former Saturday night hero and current sailboat enthusiast OCDJ gets a mention in the July 3rd Philadelphia Inquirer - see it here, third item down.

OCDJ will be manning the helm of his sailing vessel as he transports three bands on an 8 city tour later this summer.  Eschewing the normal band-in-a-van method of touring (which has gotten pretty expensive with the price of petrol these days), Jana Hunter, Peter & the Wolf, and The Castanets will be floating their way down the East Coast for part of their summer tour.  From the article: "They'll start August 19 in the Big Apple, then will ride the wind to Cape May (Aug. 23); Philly (Aug. 26); Wilmington (Aug. 28); Annapolis (Aug. 30); Fishing Creek, Md. (Sept. 2), and Norfolk, Va. (Sept. 4)." 

Here's hoping the trip is free of Scyllas, Charybdises,  Krakens, or other unknown creatures...

Listen to Jana Hunter on Liz Berg's 11/8/05 show.
Listen to The Castanets on Trouble's 11/18/04 show.
Check out OCDJ's archives and playlists here.

It's True, You Do Gotta Know When to Fold 'em

Here's Kenny Rogers singing "The Gambler" on The Muppet Show, before all that crap he started putting out in the '80s in '90s. (it's a youtube link).

Hurray For the USA

About 17,000 pro-USA patriotic CD's, mostly homemade, have arrived at the WFMU PO Box since 9/11/01. I usually give them all to Ken. But once in a while, a catchier one grabs and winds up in the WFMU new bin. This one immediately reminded me of the infamous Mortimer: Unkie Dunkie Baloney Slicer comedy record with the pacing of the vocalist, a Point Plesant, New Jersey teacher named Nicholas Miglio. He kindly allows us to post this MP3 and says: "HURRAY FOR THE USA! is an upbeat, patriotic song in praise of our great nation USA!  The lyrics are inspiring and powerful.  It is a NON-political song, meant for ALL Americans.  Even with its many problems, America remains the number 1 nation in the world in the fight for freedom, democracy, and human dignity.  Imagine school children of all ages all across America falling in love with this song.  Now imagine the pride!" Happy 4th of July everyone.