Big White Cock by Terence Koh. This is the kind of art that makes the people who create culture wars instead of, oh, art, really shoot their wads. Koh's other mixed media sculptures include his semen, blood, piss, and shit. And arty things.
No YouTube Di'n't! Watch videos that have been deleted from YouTube, which raises the question, How crappy does a video have to be to be deleted from YouTube? If you ask me, they look just as crappy as the regular videos. A new one comes up every time you refresh the page, and though so far I haven't seen anything very racy, let's assume it's NSFW.
File under TMI. High definition porn won't leave much to the imagination,
and since porn doesn't leave much to the imagination anyway, we're in a
bit of a bind in fantasyland. Hang in there until the cataracts kick in
and everything looks dreamy again. For now, porn stars are taking
measures to deal with oddly bulging boob jobs, stretch marks, and razor burn. Apparently, cellulite can stay. "[S]ome cellulite is not necessarily a bad thing," said director Robby D., who is obviously never going to be photographed from behind. "It's kind of sexy."
You would think the big news in musical condoms would be the impending debut of 50 Cent's new rubber line, but it's really about musical condoms. Before you get too excited (like some of us did), and have your long-held musical condom dreams crushed (sigh), read the fine print. It's just a CD packaged with some condoms, but it sounds better when the marketing people say it: "The Idom’s Exotica, Chocotasy and Loveberry brands come with CD compilations of chillout, acid jazz and dance music." I say the combination of breakfast cereal flavors and W Hotel music makes me want to hurl.
Three is a magic number. Who can resist a gallery of third nipple piercings? I like the guy lifting up his "Don't Mess with Texas" shirt to show his pierced third nipple. My rule is don't mess with the guy with the pierced third nipple -- the t-shirt is redundant. P.S. For that special formal occasion, and I know they have a lot of them in Texas, Mr. Texas T-Shirt should invest in some nipple covers like Nippits. gallery via nerve
After the jump: Kama Sutra, Palmastura, Me, My, Mo Mutra...Sutra!
"Easy access to pornography has coarsened the male sensibility," says Pavan Varma, author of a new book on the softer side of the Kama Sutra, Suggestions in Kama Sutra: The Art of Making Love to a Woman. Yes, he's talking to you, coarse one, so listen up:
A man should dress stylishly, possess impeccable manners, understand music, and be able to dance, paint, and recite poetry or, even better, compose it himself. He should be able to make his inamorata laugh at his wit, stimulate her with good conversation, mix a good drink, give a soothing massage, and display an intense interest in her mind rather than her body. A nodding acquaintance with botany is apparently useful, too, to impress a woman.
Future daters of Amanda, note that while I will be certainly be impressed with all that, you can skip the poetry, because I can tell you right now that I would die of embarrassment for both of us if you read me a poem you wrote.
I'm guessing Varma's not a fan of power guys who just sneak a quick peek at the Palmasutra before getting down to business. It's pretty much what you think it is -- one step up from making notes about how to do the Flying Wheelbarrow on your hand.
The Harder they fall. Ashley Harder, Miss New Jersey USA, turned in her tiara because she got pregnant. Apparently the word "pregnant" doesn't go very well with "Miss" and "USA," but it sure works well with "New" and "Jersey." Welcome home, Ashely honey.
Stop acting like animals! A lady chimp got pregnant all by herself, though she was surrounded by sterile male chimps with vasectomies. This news prompted men with vasectomies to go back to the body shop for a tune up, get the pipes tightened, check for leaks, that sort of thing. We know for sure it wasn't the fat panda who did it, because he was too fat to get off his fat ass to have fat sex even though fat Americans do it all the time. (Dear god, are those his nuts in that picture? It looks like an extra pair of legs.) Some pandas got it together because the resulting baby panda Mei Lan is out and about in Atlanta. Since she's a only 16 pounds, she's not scarynormous, so you can say "awwww" and not "how'd that happen?" or "what are those?"
"Weirdest Japanese product ever" is quite a claim. But if by weirdest ever you meant a hissing, "rapidly expanding mysterious balloon" swan head you stick on your nether regions and become the king of the party or a dancing ballerina, well, you win.
The virtual vagina
looks like a bowling pin, the virtual penis looks like a microphone, and
the virtual butterfly looks like a prop leftover from the Alien movies. The news is that they are interactive via the internets, but I'm still stuck on the packaging.
Underwear is everywhere, but mostly underneath. We've seen some of these before, but now they're all in the same place: goofy underwears.
Dirty playing cards are not safe for work, and I dare say they could have a deleterious effect on your gaming skills. Or maybe just on the other people you are playing with. I guess that's a risk you are going to have to take, dirty old card man.
Thanks to Daniel, and to other people for sending stuff I haven't blogged yet.
Become a Junior Member of the WFMU Smut Squad by sending smut or anything like it (fat pandas?) to amanda at wfmu dot org. Earn badges and learn survival skills. Looks good on college applications.
"A nodding acquaintance with botany is apparently useful, too, to impress a woman."
I suppose that could be useful, if your partner were an avid flower watcher, but did it ever help anyone to find love to be able to identify the sepal, bract, and stigma of any flower?
Do agree the boorishness of men in my generation and younger has got to go, though.
Posted by: Nicholas | January 23, 2007 at 12:51 PM
I predict that hi-def porn will make Lucian Freud the new Norman Rockwell.
Posted by: bartelby | January 23, 2007 at 02:32 PM
I always love these lists, but then I love everything about WFMU.
And because I love WFMU, I didn't want anyone there to miss today's most amusing read: "ex-gay" Christian evangelist Donnie Davies's list of gay and dangerous bands at
http://lovegodsway.org/GayBands
(Mr. Davies is also responsible for the "god hates fags" video, "The Bible Says," circulating on YouTube.)
That this highly authoritative list includes "bands" such as Morton Subotnik and Boy George (and "Eminenmen"!) means I don't even have to try to say anything witty here. Let the mirth begin!
And thanks for allowing me to publicze this on my favorite place on the Web.
PS He's continuing to update the list, so be sure to email him your choices.
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