Pop quiz: The Bush administration has spent $1 billion promoting teen abstinence since 1998. Since that time, sexual activity in teenagers has dropped: a) 2%, b) 3%, c) a statistically insignificant amount, or d) not at all. Answer: d) . Bonus question: True or false: Given the absolute failure of abstinence education in teens, Bush chose to extend the program to adults aged 20-29, an age range in which 90% of people are sexually active. Answer: True. One more thing: Do you think abstinence education teaches anything about condoms or contraception? You may continue your answer on the back of this page.
I feel your pain, pregnant lady Or at least I look like I feel your pain with the the Empathy Belly Pregnancy Simulator. But I'm still not giving you my seat on the subway.
Cover your eyes -- women could grow their own sperm. Forget about the playing God part, just watch out for the "good old fashioned yuck factor," says Telegraph science editor Roger Highfield. It's really, really yucky. Plus it wouldn't work. And those children would be awful and society would reject them. But that Roger looks pretty jolly despite our terrible mutant woman-future, doesn't he?
- Fairy tales. Disney allows same-sex couples to buy the Fairy Tale wedding package. Do I need to write anything else besides "fairy tales"?
- Dream lover. A man woke up dreaming a woman's phone number, texted it, and now they're married. "It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked," the woman said told the Daily Mail. "My mum and dad kept saying 'But he could be an axe murderer', but I knew there was something special about it." Not that axe murderers aren't special.
- 4 minute man proposes immediately after meeting internet romance gal in airport. I immediately think "who gives a rat's ass"?
- World's tallest man is married. He was last in the news for using his long arms to save dolphins by pulling plastic from their stomachs. Long arms. Yeah. Long arms. What was I saying?
- Mamma mia! Italians say reality show La Sposa Perfetta, where a jury of mothers live in a Big Brother house and weed out prospective wives for their sons, falls to new depths of banality. Europe rocks.
Move over, air guitar. Make room for air sex. And both of you say goodbye to real sex, 'cause that ain't never happening for you now.
- A very bad dentist pees in his dentist sink and I have a hard time not canceling my next appointment.
- Frank Zappa is in my bathroom, in my tiny toilet fantasies. via sexblo.gs
- Smoke on the water: Japanese toilets catch on fire.