For the past few weeks on my show, "Killing Time with Bronwyn C." I've been reading DJ Noah's riveting updates on the ant infestation in the WFMU studios. Last week Station Manager Ken sat in on my show and discussed my idea for putting the ants up for adoption. Here are some ants who are available now:
Justin and Otis
And here's the questionnaire to fill out for official ant adoption. Good luck, and may God bless.
ANT ADOPTION QUESTIONNAIRE
Please fill out the following and submit it with your non-refundable adoption fee. Please note that the non-refundable fee is non-refundable.
Ant adoption is a serious responsibility. The policy of the WFMU Ant Adoption Department is to ensure that each Listener who adopts an ant is aware of the emotional, physical, and financial commitment required when taking an ant into your home. The following questionnaire has been designed to aid both you and the WFMUAAD in determining whether you and your family are adequately prepared to assume responsible ownership of an ant.
Address, City, & Zip:
Home Phone: Work Phone: Cell Phone:
How many people live in your household?
Do you have children and, if so, what are their ages?
Who will be primarily responsible for the ant?
Are there any other ants living in your home?
Are their any aardvarks or other anteaters living in your home?
Did you know that a zookeeper in Argentina was killed by an anteater last month? Really.
Do you understand that the non-refundable adoption fee is non-refundable?
Are you aware that the ant you are adopting is required to be spayed/neutered?
Can you figure out how the heck you’re going to do that?
(NOTE: The non-refundable adoption fee does not include the cost of the ant’s spay/neuter.)
Do you understand that the ant will be fitted with a teeny-tiny radio receiver before leaving WFMU?
Type of home you live in: Messy __ Dirty __ Disgusting __ Sticky with Filth __
Where would the ant be left alone, and for how many hours a day?
Have you previously owned an ant?
If so, what happened to it?
What is the primary reason you want an ant?
Are you aware that behavioral problems such as scuttling, climbing, and crawling in the trash may occur once the ant is taken home?
Under what circumstances would you not keep the ant?