Today, This Week in Sex is This Week in Panties. That means if you want to know about the world's largest penis, you'll have to come back later. Curious about the effects of semen chemistry on women? If there were panties in that story, we could talk about it. Now you'll never know about how women exposed to semen are less depressed, except when they come down from their spunk addictions, which apparently is a drag.
And definitely no talk about the fat chihuahua who went on a diet but is still a fat chihuahua. I know that doesn't have anything to do with sex, but christ, that's one motherfucking fat chihuahua.
Come fly with me. Ecuadorean Icaro airlines is having lingerie fashion shows in the aisles. Adjust your vacation plans accordingly.
Dirty laundry. If, like me, you often find yourself waking up to the sight of your bra hanging from the ceiling, an empty bottle of wine rolling under the bed, and the guy next to you wearing your panties, you'll wonder where the makers of the Tagalongs Panties hid the video camera to make this commercial for their disposable underwear. via AdRants
More dirty laundry. Deborah Harry wore dirty knickers for five days when British Airways lost her luggage. She could have borrowed some used undies from Dita Von Teese, who saves them for fans. Hey, Neko Case sold her corset on eBay.
Olde dirty laundry. The printing press helped, but the rise of medieval literacy was built on a pile of used underwear. The increased use of underwear in the 13th century led to an increase in the number of rags available for paper making. It's kind of sweet to think of a medieval Bible printed on used underwear.
After the jump: more panties.
For the cause. Panties for Peace is a noble idea, but I already gave to Girdles for Global Warming. At Panty Palooza, arty unmentionables were auctioned off for Planned Parenthood. I like "I'm the decider" in script on red bikini briefs.
Liar, liar. Quick, your house is on fire. What do you run back in to get? Your underwear. And a cell phone, so you can order up more underwear.
Tighty whiteys cause cancer as well as not-getting-any-itis.
Guns don't kill people, panties kill people:
- Flushing underwear down toilet causes road collapse. "It was very irresponsible behaviour."
- What's worse: being a teenage boy caught stealing panties, or being caught stealing panties from Sears?
- Man in socks, underwear charged in crash. Alcohol and a van of female prisoners were also involved.
- Inmates brawl over underwear. The judge said, “You lost it completely because of the remark about underwear that wasn’t aimed at you, and you started hurling pool balls."
Only 21 days until National Underwear Day!
Thanks Irwin. You can thank me via panty of the month club or by sending smut to amanda at wfmu dot org.
Photo above: Cindy Sherman, from retrospective at Martin-Gropius-Bau, Berlin. via sexblo.gs
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