365 Days #307 - Picking Up Girls Made Easy! (mp3s)

Hey there fella! Ready to make that move, but a bit shy, eh? Have no fear, picking up girls is here! Yes, in no time you too can be swarmy, gross and be that odd duck out in a social setting. Taught by super lady master Eric "you come here often" Weber circa 1975!

Check out the amazing blog Scar Stuff for more on Weber + a scan of an ad for this album and thanks to Hyde Park Records for the front and back cover images! In 2003 on 365 the Women's Clothing Store Pick Up was featured, but now you can get your groove on with the whole album (which by the way has been file shared and posted to blogs but this way it will have a permanent resting home at WFMU and UBUWEB.

And now... start seducing...

The Street Pick Up (6:00)
Love In The Library (5:11)
Single's Bar Action (6:12)
Women's Clothing Store Pick Up (6:39)
The Ballet Is A Ball (4:08)
Museum Pick Up (5:42)
Walking The Dog (5:53)
Pick Up At The Beach (5:46)

BUT HOLD ON... before you go tearing out there on these 'exercises' i'd like to share the following public service announcements from the Seventh Day Adventist Church with you...

Sexually Transmitted Diseases? (0:30)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases?? (0:30)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases??? (0:57)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases???? (1:00)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases????? (0:31)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases?????? (0:31)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases??????? (0:31)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases???????? (0:59)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases????????? (1:00)

Now who's up to performing one of the Picking Up skits in public, video it, and send it to us so we can post it to the blog?

- Contributed by: Sid Safari

Comments

[evil pain clown]

this is funny as hell!!! great post!!

[Savage]

Haha, this is great stuff. It's funny because Eric Weber is considered to be one of the first pick up artists to start selling products for meeting women. These mp3s sound so cheesy, it's hard to believe that this guy kick started the entire seduction/pick up artist industry we see today.

[Dave]

LOL...funny LP. Next you should post the other silly LP "How To Skin A Buck". Thanks.
Dave

[Bren]

Holy hell. That was some of the creepiest shit I've ever heard, but it was just so entertaining.

[Martin]

Thought this sounded familiar, as I already have an mp3 of this. I searched WFMU an found that this was posted as one mp3 by Kenny G on July 25, 2005. Great stuff though, worth reposting.

[Cheeseburger Brown]

Alternative modern title: SPOTTING SCUMMY GUYS MADE EASY.

[K]

Creeped me out, too. "The sounds of sexual predation Volumes 1-8". Eric Weber created quite a little cottage industry with this thing. It's like a tainted cheese; horrible but yet you find yourself nibbling at it...

[Listener #109577]

I remember the full-page ads from National Lampoon, roughly 30-35 years ago, and the audio caps from the Over The Edge radio show, about 20 years ago, but I'm still waiting for the great Womyn's take on this thing, funny though it is. The girlz, as such, seem strangely silent about the matter -- maybe it works!

[ib]

"Cheesy but Creepy" is an understatement. I found myself chortling along to "Street Pick-Up" like all of the above commentators until i realized just how genuinely appealing the girls featured on the cover of this antiquity actually are (were).

The chilling thing is, peeps, pondering what drew you to this post in the first place.

[b]

I feel that life used to be more boobalicious back in the 70s. I am cheated. Hey, was the street pick up gal actually a guy?

[Todd]

"Women's Clothing Store Pick Up" is about the creepiest thing I ever have heard.

[Pick up girls]

heh, I actually enjoyed the mp3s, funny too

[Pete]

This just came up in conversation when a friend whipped out the booklets "The Get Him System" (1986), and "Secrets of Kissing" (1985), ordered in the mid-80s from the back of a teen magazine. Not only does the cover design strikingly resemble the design of "Picking Up Girls Made Easy" (white block letters in a black band over black-and-white stock photos), but the return address is Bergenfield, and it's mailed from Tenafly (which is where the "Picking" PO Box address is listed).

I want to know if there's a connection, but I can't find any info on the "publisher" of the "Get Him" and "Kissing" booklets, something called "The Tymar Clinic." Tymar doesn't seem to have stuck around long enough to leave a footprint on the internet.

Mr. Weber, is seems, is still in Tenafly, running something called Tenafly Flim Company.

So, dutiful detectives, lets get to work on this. It's important.

-Pete from Somerville, MA (and occasionally NJ)

[gwen]

now, i know this is a little obviously, but the way women are portrayed here are so terrible that it's almost bad enough that if women everywhere were seen and thought of like this i would probably kill myself.

seriously now pick up artists, what makes you think i am a fish?

[the swordsman]

Picking up women is practically impossible to screw-up if you have (a) charm, (b) good looks, and/or (c) money. *cough* But, since many of us don't have all of those things, it all starts with a single word: "Hi". Women have been trained to scorn lines thrown at them. No matter how clever you think you are, it's really a waste of time, because it sends the message that you are actively trying to be clever. Women are not utterly stupid. Okay, some are, but not most. They can smell a pick-up. The better approach is the subtle approach. Say "Hi". Comment on her appearance (but don't make a reference to her breasts, legs, or ass, unless you're in a topless bar). Ask her questions about herself. Keep the focus on her (people love to talk about themselves, and it keeps the conversation moving. What she likes to do, favorite music, blah, blah, blah. You get the picture. When the focus turns to you, don't invent interests that you obviously can't do (like cage-fighting or writing poetry). Get on her good side by talking about the positive things that you do (like volunteer to teach kids to read or work a soup kitchen). Point is, it doesn't matter how much of it is true. What matters is that you look like a reasonably well-rounded and normal guy. So, be normal. Have a job. Have a car. Have disposable income.

And here's another important point. You don't have to score on the first date to be ultimately successful. I've gone out with plenty of women on 2 or 3 dates before striking paydirt. It's a battle of attrition. If she likes you, she's going to put out after a certain amount of time. Granted, you want to reduce that time frame as much as possible. But odds are it's going to happen within the first month -- if at all -- so don't be impatient. I've literally had as many as 4 or 5 on the line at the same time, and the really funny thing is that, once you get them into the pipeline, it's like an endless stream of ass. I actually started getting bored with getting laid so much. Seriously, is that whacked -- or what?

Finally, don't buy that crap about women wanting to be treated like dirt. That's a load of bullshit. Certainly, some women with low self-esteem don't MIND being treated that way, but most women will walk away; so, my advice is to just be yourself, treat them with respect, hold open doors, pull out their chairs, take their coats, etc. Be a gentleman. I'm stunned at how many women are SURPRISED when I do this kind of stuff for them. I really do think that it reduces the time frame from "Hi" to "please fuck me".

Of course, the downside of having sex with a lot of women is that -- whether you like it or not -- some of them are going to get attached to you and want more. Are you ready for that? How do you handle that? My usual comment is "I'm still recovering from my last relationship and I'm just not ready to get into anything serious right now." I mean, seriously, how else can she respond to something like that? She's probably going to get mad, and ask you why you're having sex with her, if you're not ready for the consequences. To which, you can either say, "I didn't realize how this was going to affect me, emotionally, but now that I see it, I realize that I'm not ready". Or, you can take the more strident approach: "I don't think that I can talk to you, if you're going to be so unsupportive". LOL. Love that one.

Remember: Men have an advantage in this world. Because in order to get into a serious relationship, women have to give it up first. And once they've given it up, you can decide whether it met your standards -- or whether you keep looking...

[John]

Wow, swordsman - what a fucking asshole.

[Neal]

Love Indeed What is love indeed? Is it soft kisses Is it hellos that never end or