The Seize-ing Sounds of Sean Paul
This story is making today's headlines about a woman who had brain surgery because "her favorite artist" almost made her swallow her tongue. I don't know where to start -- is this a condemnation of the monotone white boy from Kingston or is Sean Paul's publicist trying to make a nice salmon mousse mold out of grey matter? 
Honestly, how can you even claim to enjoy music fully without the occasional symptoms like: grand or petit mal, incontinence, anxiety attack, priapism, low frequency nausea, chest pains, boogie fever, cold sweat, and the like? Tell us your symptoms!
Eminem makes me yawn uncontrollably.
Posted by: Kapitano | January 18, 2008 at 01:11 PM
For some reason, going to a live concert is like a natural laxative.
Posted by: JMet | January 18, 2008 at 01:21 PM
Hip hop and rap in general makes me want to throw up, or drive an ice pick into my ear holes to stop the pain. I never thought it possible for a style of music to make me pine for the disco era. Can a more talentless, monotonous, and corrosive form of music exist?
Posted by: K | January 18, 2008 at 01:23 PM
wait, its NOT normal to have uncontrollable seizures when you hear sean paul? i thought it was just a side effect of that shit
Posted by: Pandoras Boxing Ring | January 18, 2008 at 02:31 PM
This is uncommon, but does happen. It is obviously silly to say that it is my favorite song and then I will have a spell. Nonetheless it does happen. There is a guy in the literature who seizes to Elton John (who himself has epilepsy, but disavows it). The issue for this guy is that Elton John songs come on the Muzak on the elevator and he goes into his little dance.
Posted by: Adam | January 18, 2008 at 07:22 PM
"Sean Paul"??? I thought that was Omar Bin Laden!!
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=4150195
Posted by: illlich | January 19, 2008 at 12:36 PM
That is the best thing I have ever read. That could be a lie actually.
Anyway, HIPHOP I wouldn't say it's all shit really. I think you've got to be a bit stupid to say that about anything, especially when your view extends only as far as you. Why don't you tell us what you do like instead of all this negativity? Eh? What's that you like to hear music made by Harpsichords fashioned from Persian cats? Well, that makes me pine for days when music was contained in the gas you find in vacuum packed goods such as ham, or internet yoghurt.
Posted by: powersherlock | January 23, 2008 at 10:01 AM