When it comes to funny show biz riders, as expected, Steve Allen set the funny bar way up high. Seemingly written in the third person, this contract has the micro-cassette-dictated, tell-tale fussy stamp of one Hi Ho Steverino--his "zany" bad-ass, banana-nibbling self. When it came to connecting the dots between fruit baskets and the "collapse of efficiency in America," El Steve-O drew that line with a thick goddamn Sharpie. As evidenced herein, Allen challenged the mores and patience of well-meaning hotel clerks and hapless hair stylists from town to town for a good portion of the mid to late 1900s. From the elaborate hair dyeing ritual (1/2 oz. of #13 Fanciful Rinse by Roux, 1/2 oz. of #12 Black Rage by Roux) to the placement of his "unit," these pre-production shenanigans were more inspired than any skit or ad-libbed bon mot ever performed on or off The Tonight Show. Steve Allen was Steve Allen even when he wasn't trying to be Steve Allen--that's how Steve Allen he was. Let's journey back to those halcyon Steve Allen days of 1988, where "units" required 3 clips and the small refrigerators were supposed to be "placed in Mr. Allen's hotel suite BEFORE HE ARRIVES--NOT AN HOUR OR TWO LATER." This is an authentic document and it comes to you courtesy of a friend's brother's wife's brother's girlfriend who was briefly charged with the maintenance and feeding of Mr. Allen.
Dig Mah Mah Limbo (MP3) while you read this mess. Smock! Smock!