There is an ethnic derivation of English mysteriously absent from the SIL International Ethnologue database: Schizophasia. Mysterious because it is no longer only spoken by "Schizophrenics". We have, among others, Paula Abdul and Shirley Phelps-Roper upon whom to heap eternal gratitude for that. Each, upon returning from her own (ahem) "inward sabbatical", had been rigorously taught this hitherto non-indigenous language (by Walter Skinner, of course) and now wish to indoctrinate us in hopes of fostering deeper rapport and understanding between mainstream schizophrenics and the rest of us--who will become schizophrenics very soon if January 20th of next year doesn't hurry the fuck up and get here.
So, until the SIL International Ethnologue database at long last recognizes the legitimacy of Schizophasia as English's triumphant replacement, you can study up on common Schizophasic phrases for "Don't eat the chicken" or "Has anybody ever told you you look just like Amanda Plummer in "Freeway""? by these other native speakers:
Here are two speakers of a sub-IAL dialect first discovered in the 70's called Disassociative Pidgin English (formerly known by the peculiar designations "Multiple Personality Disorder" and "Disassociative Identity Disorder"):