Gene Simmons Knows From Prostitution
On July 8, the new book by New York Times bestselling author Gene Simmons will be released by Phoenix Books. Ladies of the Night: A Historical and Personal Perspective of the Oldest Profession in the World, is Gene's take on doing it for pay. Given that money and sex are his two fave subjects (and given that he's been talking about writing it forever), the book shouldn't be too big a surprise. The press release promises an "entirely new take on a traditionally taboo topic (which) promises to spark debate."
It's hard to really argue that it's such a taboo subject, but the book will no doubt be huge, if only because Gene will devote himself to endlessly telling the world how huge it is. And to say Gene is an expert on the subject is hardly a stretch. He's the brains behind what's easily the most merchandised band in rock history, and has never made bones about his whorishness.
In an interview with the business news site BNET, the demon said:
Sure! We're whores. I have no credibility. I don't want credibility. I want to do whatever I think works and is a lot of fun. You know, to me, a prostitute has always been much more ethical than a wife, and here's why: Before a prostitute gives you a blow job, she will tell you it's going to cost twenty-five dollars. Not your wife! Your wife-to-be is never going to say a word about money, never! Love, love, love, love, love. Once you get married, your ass is hers. 'Cause if the day ever comes you get divorced, one of your two god-given balls is going to be ripped out of your body, entrails and all.
Metaphorically, of course.
Gene's also notorious for partying about as hard as Adam Ant. There's a peculiar prudishness to the man; his songs rarely touch on anything more taboo than out-of-wedlock sex, even if Donna "Bad Girl" Summer did appear on his 1978 solo album. The first song on KISS's first album, "Strutter," is often considered to be about hookerdom, but with the line "You take her home and she says: "maybe, baby," that seems unlikely, and in any event, the lyrics are by Paul Stanley.
In KISS Behind the Mask: The Official Authorized Biography, Paul explains
Lyrically, 'Strutter' was my ongoing fascination with women in the New York glitter scene. In some ways, it was a sister song to "Black Diamond." [...] There's more of a tip of the hat to Dylan in there than anything else. The Dylan song "Just Like a Woman," which says "She makes love just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl." In "Strutter" you get "She gets her satins like a lady, she gets her way just like a child."
Bob Dylan, no doubt, appreciated the tribute.
The band recut the song four years later with what Paul called a "disco feel." Again from Behind the Mask:
Once in a while you do things to make your record company happy. [But] if you painted the Mona Lisa once, I don't know why you have to do it twice." More recently, the song has been licensed for use in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Guitar Hero 2, so if there is a prostitute in the song it's probably not the lady.
But through painstaking Googling, another song turned up that apparently actually is about prostitution: the aforementioned "Black Diamond," (credited to Paul but actually written, according to a Guitar World interview, by both Paul and Gene). In another interview posted at KISSfaq.com, Gene said "Essentially, the song is about a black prostitute and New York street life in general."
Which brings us back to Gene and prostitutes. Phoenix is holding a contest, and the winner will get a Gene Simmons outgoing message to use on their voice mail. Gene himself will select the winner, the best essay (200 words or less) on the subject "LADIES OF THE NIGHT - The Oldest Profession in the World: Good or bad?" Deadline is June 8.
easily the most merchandised band in rock history
-
Not even close. The Beatles hold that mark. Epstein sold merchandising rights for a penny.
Posted by: Taxman | May 15, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Well, I'll give you that Epstein was a pioneer in the art, but I'd guess that KISS gets the prize out of longevity. They've been pedaling crap for at least 30 years and still going strong (the photo above is of a KISS candy dispenser I bought recently). Check out the KISS store at http://www.fanfire.com, just for example.
Supposedly Gene Simmons wrote a Master's thesis on how to operate a rock band as a business, but I've never been able to find it. If anyone has any leads...
Posted by: Kurt Gottschalk | May 15, 2008 at 01:04 PM
They've been pedaling crap for at least 30 years and still going strong
-
That just means they're still 10 years behind. Beatles merchandising continues unabated.
Posted by: Taxman | May 15, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Not defending the Beatles Inc, but there's never been a Beatles coffin or Beatles condoms. Sure, the Fabs may have been first, but you can literally go from cradle to grave surrounding yourself with KISS products.
Posted by: Captain Wrong | May 15, 2008 at 01:37 PM
Has there been a Kiss Stamp? Can you send a birth announcement and a death notice with a Kiss stamp? No.
Posted by: Taxman | May 15, 2008 at 03:41 PM
"Has there been a Kiss Stamp? Can you send a birth announcement and a death notice with a Kiss stamp? No."
Well, there WAS a Gene stamp issued in 2006, so that's probably close enough...
http://www.genesimmons.com/news/022006.html <<< Feb. 3 news post
Posted by: Nick the Bard | May 16, 2008 at 06:51 AM
So they make vanity stamps now. Not impressed. Let us know when the United States Post Office honors Kiss with a stamp.
Posted by: Taxman | May 16, 2008 at 11:48 AM
So they make vanity stamps now. Not impressed. Let us know when the United States Post Office honors Kiss with a stamp.
Posted by: Taxman | May 16, 2008 at 11:49 AM
Oh come on, Tax. You don't get royalties on a stamp. I think Gene is the undisputed champion of commercial whoring. I mean, could you even imagine the late George Harrison ( OK, so maybe I'm cherry picking here ) saying something like what Gene says about Kiss? "Kiss is not a Band, it's a Brand!"
Posted by: K | May 16, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Show us where there's a comic book with real Beatles' blood mixed in the ink then.
Posted by: Nick the Bard | May 16, 2008 at 01:51 PM
easily the most merchandised band in rock history
-
This is the remark I object too. I have no argument with any claims of Gene's whoredom. Merchandise-wise, Kiss is still back in the pack, the only question is are they #2 or lower.
Posted by: Taxman | May 16, 2008 at 04:04 PM
There was a Gene Simmons sex video on the internet a few months back. Very strong possibility he was with a "pro", since she was a bored, fake-boobed blond who seem repulsed by his attempt to kiss her. Nice to write about what you know!!
Posted by: Bill V | May 16, 2008 at 07:32 PM
I posted a little what for about Gene's videoindiscretion back here
http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2008/02/im-not-even-goi.html
Knowing I played some small part in starting a KISS vs Beatles merch flame war means I can die happy.
That said, uh, clearly KISS outmerch the Beatles by way.
Posted by: Kurt Gottschalk | May 17, 2008 at 03:58 AM
"there is a peculiar prudishness to the man" - interesting observation
Posted by: | May 18, 2008 at 11:23 PM
There is something sickening about the sycophantic rush of one individual to defend the "honor" of the Beatles in regards to how well they merchandized themselves. Lord, I hate the Beatles...
Posted by: Modern Method | May 23, 2008 at 05:43 PM
You guys are aware that KISS has a Coffeehouse, that Gene is planning a partnership with Southwest airlines for KISS AIR, and a KISS Kasino in Vegas, right? I enjoy both bands, but I doubt the Beatles would have gone that far even if they were still together (and all alive, of course). Can you really picture a Beatles Casino? A reality show, maybe, but nothing that crazy.
Posted by: Chris | July 15, 2008 at 07:51 PM
since the debate rages on, i'll add this to the fire
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=7&entry_id=28109
SIMMONS: 'CONDOLEEZA RICE IS SEXY'
KISS rocker Gene Simmons has developed a crush on U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice.
The pair met in Sweden in May when they were staying in the same hotel. Kiss were performing in the capital Stockholm and Rice was meeting with politicians to discuss Iraq.
Simmons was stunned to discover the 53-year-old Republican is a fan of his band, and he reveals they bonded over a private meeting.
Rice said at the time, "I was thrilled. It was really fun to meet Kiss and Gene Simmons."
And Simmons, who claims to have seduced 5,000 women, adds, "She told me it was OK to call her Condi, and that she was a fan. I find her very sexy."
... and thanks everyone for posting. this has been a fun one.
Posted by: Kurt Gottschalk | July 16, 2008 at 12:39 AM