Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about my cat Winnie." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.
Three types of letters appear again and again on the pages of Archie Club News. First, kids talking about their pets. Secondly, sycophantic praise for the Saturday morning Filmation Archie cartoon show. And thirdly, poetry (most of it written about Archie and the gang). Today, we showcase some of this poetry. For optimum effect, be certain to read these poems out loud, as they benefit from the drama of oration.
From Archie #182, June 1968:
TO THE KIDS WITH THE
LONG STRINGY HAIR
Go to the store and buy a bottle of pop,
and on the way home stop at the barber shop.
Get up on his round swirling chair,
And let him cut your long stringy hair.
And then when he's all through with you,
I wonder if you'll wear pink or blue.
212 Oxford Street
Portland, Me. 04111
Annie won third prize of two dollars for this issue.
From Archie and Me #23, February 1970:
I have a poem to dictate to you lucky people:
The Archies are the grooviest group around,
They always make the toughest sounds.
Archie and Reggie at the guitar,
The Archies are the neatest group by far.
With Jughead at the drums
The Archies ain't no bunch of crumbs
By Veronica the organ being played
Too bad the Archies ain't too much paid.
With Betty at the tambourine,
The Archies make the grooviest scene.
The Archies are out of sight,
They must be doing something right.
Milton Dairy, Main Road
Mark, deservedly, won first prize of five dollars for this issue.
Bunch more poems after the jump...