Since there's no such thing as too much overkill, today we're shining the spotlight on a ridiculously generous sampling of The Cold Hard Facts Of Life, one of singer and songwriter Bill Anderson's most expertly-crafted tunes. Sure, Anderson wrote a plethora of great songs, but for my money none of them tops The Cold Hard Facts Of Life. Originally recorded by Porter Wagoner in late 1966, the song tells the story of a hapless chump who returns home from a business trip a few days earlier than expected only to find his wife gettin' busy with another dude, a discovery that prompts him to guzzle some booze and reach vengefully for a big sharp knife. Whenever people discuss their all-time favorite cheating songs, The Cold Hard Facts Of Life is sure to be prominently mentioned.
The Cold Hard Facts Of Life is not only a great song title, it also functions as a fun and memorable catchphrase that can be employed anytime somebody learns a bitter lesson the hard way. For instance, if you're an experienced NYC bicyclist and your ride gets stolen when you let a complete stranger "borrow" your bike so he can assess how it handles, it could (and should) be said that you learned the cold hard facts of life.
Additionally, it's worth noting that Porter Wagoner's 1967 Cold Hard Facts Of Life LP featured an incredibly dramatic cover shot that recreated one of the song's most pivotal events: the moment when Porter opened the door to confront his cheating spouse. Perhaps the most amazing part of this story is the fact that the cover of the album was shot in Porter Wagoner's very own apartment. Thanks to Steve Eng's superb Wagoner biography, I was able to learn the exact address of the apartment in question, a discovery which inevitably led to the photo above. More details are available here. Yes, I mentioned this story previously on Beware Of The Blog, but it would be pretty delusional to think that people read and remembered such useless crap.