Oh, snap -- is it that time again?! Seems like just yesterday we was suckin' on candycane, trimmin' da tree, poopin' down the chimminy, ha ha. Hell, it's almost a year since Acapulco Jr. came out his mama's pussie -- and now he be driving and shitt, ese! Naw, just kidding, but he's pissin' on the dogg, chewin' up his daddie's records... it's OVER.
1.- Singles. It started last year, or maybe the year before. Beats the fuck outta me, but right now, there's good singles coming out every day. I'm talking phatt jointz by Billy Bao, Christmas Island, Tyvek, Little Claw, FNU Ronnies, Unholy Two, Sex Vid , Vivian Girls, The Midwest Beat, Kount Fistula, Dave E & Cool Marriage Counselors, Hunchback, Girls of the Gravitron, Pink Reason, Los Llamarada, XYX, Francis Harold & the Holograms, Silk Flowers, Factorymen, Cold Cave, Fucked Up, Blank Dogs, Wizzard Sleeve, Shit & Shine, S.S.P.S., Factums, Sick-E's, Sick Llama, Eat Skull, Sonic Chicken 4, The Feeling of Love, Black Bug, Zano, Starving Weirdos, M Lamar, not to mention the ongoing World's Lousy With Ideas series and Columbus Discount's fabulous singles club.
2. I've always been an LP man myself, even though them 45's is more comfortable, ha ha. That little hole is kinda snug, you know. Be that as it may be, I love me a good el-pee, and it was easier to pick out the landmarks, watersheds, and masturpieces among the long-players, id fuckin' est: The Hospitals' Hairdryer Peace, Los Llamaradas' Take the Sky, Tommy Jay's Tall Tales, Brainbombs' Fucking Mess, Rusted Shut's Hot Sex 12" , Jason Crumer's Ottoman Black, Billy Bao's Dialectics of Shit, Tropa Macaca's Fiteiras Suadas, Prurient's And Still, Wanting, the Demons CD, Russell Haswell's Second Live Salvage, R/S One's Snow Rain Mud CD, and Drunkdriver. Them disks got a guaranteed place in the permanent collection; but there's a buncha shit released this year in the long format that deserves honorable mention, namely Cheveu, Gary War, A.H. Kraken, Pink Noise's Dream Code, Eddy Current Suppression Ring's Primary Colors, the Jaap Blonk / Dylan Nyoukis collab, not to mention the Blood Stereo rec; Krysmopompas' Haute Schlaufen - Morgen Aufwachen, that mindbender of a record by Keiji Haino & Yoshida Tatsuya with the impossible title, the Fabulous Diamonds 12", the most recent glassy-faced funk from Justice Yeldham.
3. Reissues. Fuck a duck, Chuck. What a year: The Bachs' Out of the Bachs is finally on vinyl again, and so is Cold Sun's Dark Shadows. Drag City pulled out a batch of Gary Higgins' Red Hash and Mayo Thompson's Corky. We got the full-on Animals & Men discog on 12" platter, not to mention the works of The Nixe in one easy stop. I nearly jizzed in my jeanz when you told me Badabing was doin' up the first two Dead C recs in one package -- that shit is elusive, and now it's conclusive. On the more recent front, the 2-LP version of the collected works of Gas was the best ballz-massage I got all year.
4. Live? Are you kidding me? I gotta kid to take care of, motherfucker!
5. Tony Rettman's Predictions for 2008 and Records to Look Out For in 2008, in Terminal Boredom.
6. Year-end top-ten lists, especially when they don't talk about just music, but say shit about, like, sneakers, and shit from people's personal life like they got married or had a baby or some shitt, and books, 'cos I wanna know what fucking books some DJ is reading, or hear about fucking video games or beer or whatever. Damn, that shit is fascinating! That's why I listen to radio and read music blogs, to find out about video games and food. I learn a lot about myself when I revisit the year and take stock of the money I dropped and the time I frittered obtaining, cataloguing, and thinking about shit like Francis Harold & the fucking Holograms. Wow! Congratulations, me!
7. It's onn, doggiez. This was da year noize-rk, drone, and punk got
together and did the hokey pokie. All's I gotta say is, what the fah?
Turns out, as Mrs. Acapulco
put it, all them beardos really wanted all along was to play cute
little tunes and shit, and now all of a sudden punk rock is all
avant-garde and mysterious and oooooh!
Me? I rather see Hank IV right now than lookit one more goober with a mixer and a mic going "ooooo" and scrapin' shit through an echo, so I guess I'm boning the fucking zeitgeist, but noise is noise, pop is still pop, and there's a lotta bullshit in the middle. This's an interesting time of cross-pollenation, fermentation, and monsterbation. If you ain't livin' it, you ain't livin'. Get a clue, Stew! This is the best time for music in a dogg's year, a fucking snowball and it's rollin' down some hill headed whodafuckknows where. Don't be a goober!
8. This guy:
... And that's it. All's I got is eight!. Sorry! I tried to come up with two more, but I failed you! Do you care what I thought of Roberto Bolano's 2666? Wanna hear my "take" on the economy? Didn't think so, ha ha. Oh, yeah, Boredoms sucked double-dongz in 00-8! Don't forget to rinse afterward, suckaz.
Click here for more 2008 WFMU Top 10 Lists.