Raymond Lyman has a problem. Let me rephrase that: Raymond Lyman has many problems. But I'll get to that in a moment.
City Council meetings in Scranton, Pennsylvania just wouldn't be the same without the city's most illustrious local schnook. Nestled among the many barriers to justice Lyman faces--large drifts of snow after a massive storm are totally blocking off the stop signs but the city doesn't send out its plows...we get the stupid, underpaid DPW guys plowing the street near Ray's favorite local greasy spoon; weakly enforced ordinances--the worst of them he was put on this earth to crush are the city council members themselves.
Videos start after the jump.
Council "potato heads" Judy Gatelli, Sherry Fanucci and Bob McGoff are violating The Scranton Avenger's civil rights. Violations enough to warrant five letters (sound familiar?) to the ACLU and the "Fedral Attorney Genral" for their intervention . Well, come on, they only let him talk during the public comment period for three or five bloody minutes. That ain't enough. Why not ten or fifteen?
Well, for one, Ray's a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal. Every Tuesday at 6:30 on Scranton's Channel 61, everyone in the Electric City who really believes he needs to be in the know about local politics just so he might one day be able to knock Lyman out of his public comment throne--and you, thanks to the 'Tube--gets to be privy, whether he wants to be or not, to Ray's creepy milquetoast outbursts. I know, contradiction in terms, right? Ah...no:
The King of Scranton would almost be reminiscent of The Charlotte Shaker if he wasn't extremely slow on the uptake, a slightly better facultied Billy Redden. Whether Lyman means well tackling Scranton's bureaucracy or the cop the Council hired to keep him from physically tackling Scranton's bureaucracy is moot from here; Lyman has escaped from the reality inside his own head and clearly taken ours hostage. I have one word for The Scranton Avenger: Huzzah!!!