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February 14, 2009

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Clayton

Funny stuff. Arsenio is actually somewhat less unbearable in this clip. I saw Friday the 13th yesterday. I knew it would be terrible, but whoa! Not exactly a remake, and not at all a sequel. It's the only movie worse than Zabriskie Point.

As a fan of the series, I was terribly disappointed, and I went in with the lowest expectations possible. The trouble with this flick, as with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, is that the team tried too hard to make it scary, with virtually none of the more startling elements of the original films. Shrieking, tension-building string section? Scrapped for a college kid with a Korg. Humorous montage of last remaining girl discovering all her friend's corpses? Scrapped for a not-so-humorous scene with three remaining survivors trying to outwit the unoutwittable. And worst of all: the killings themselves were not very gruesome, too often offscreen, and mostly cribbed from earlier installments.

The director succeeded in making a film that was a "re-imagining" of the second and third movies. Unfortunately, it completely lacked imagination. Most fans of the series who grew up in the '70s and '80s will cringe at the more "human" Jason. Spoiler: he takes a fucking HOSTAGE. And the trailer for the updated Last House on the Left didn't look much better.

Joe

Zabriskie Point was awesome!

What, you think house's should stay UN-exploded? That's crazy talk.

Clayton

Don't get me wrong. I love Antonioni's other films, but the dialogue in Zabriskie is unbearable. That, and I hate the Grateful Dead.

Jonathan Steinke

You can't be serious. Fucking hell, they are updating Last House?

Clayton

Yep. Or maybe it's a "reboot" and we'll have thirty sequels with the reanimated corpse of Mary taking revenge on the reanimated corpses of her killers, over and over again. It wouldn't be so bad, except that it's Wes Craven remaking his own remake of Bergman's Virgin Spring. Ugh... somebody give me a shotgun already.

JMet

Yeah, I love the Jason franchise and got kinda excited when I saw the commercials for the new one. And then the advertisement said it was executive produced by Michael Bay. I knew then and there that it would be an utter steaming pile of failure and didn't bother.

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