I have yet to read Barack Obama's "Dreams of My Father", though it is definitely on my list. So, little did I know that the book is filled with some great street-style dialogue, mostly courtesy of Obama's high school friend Ray. And then there is the audio book, read by the author himself. High praise goes this week to The Boston Phoenix for isolating the cursing from the audio book and making mp3 files, which we now share with you here:
"There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you."
"You ain't my bitch, nigga! Buy your own damn fries!"
"This shit's getting way too complicated for me."
"You know that guy ain't shit. Sorry-ass motherfucker got nothing on me."
"Sure you can have my number, baby!"
Perhaps some audio master could put these to good use. A remix is in order, or perhaps a Christian Bale mash-up (though I must admit to being tired of that rant already). Or best of all, how about reordering the whole book into a speech for the Republicans in congress that will make them stand up, pay attention, and realize that they aren't gonna fix this muthafuckin' economy with more muthafuckin' tax breaks, muthafuckers! Though, now that I think about it, that first line alone could be the whole speech.
Perhaps the President's stimulus plan is too much for politicians to grapple with. Who has the time to read the details about all those programs? It's better to just start clipping away at any socially responsible initiative that is, you know, frivolous - by which I mean, any that doesn't help big business, the real victims of the recent economic free-fall. My favorite stimulus plans so far are much more simple: forgive student loan debt, and give money directly to consumers to pay off their credit cards.