I am thrilled to learn of _________'s current opening for ___________. As a blogger with experience in blogging and blogging, I am an ideal applicant. For further detail on my qualifications, please find video clip information in the comments section of this post.
My experience as a blogger at WFMU has trained me to find obscure videos of freaks playing synthesizers and pretending to be zombie wizards out in the woods or some shit like that and then to make informed observations about how it's is an interesting combination of black metal, synth pop and prog rock or some shit like that and also that the introduction kinda sounds like the beginning of R. Stevie Moore's Phonography kinda. My organizational skills will be a daily asset to your office. Some other bullshit to make it look like I am interesting and talented. This position is of particular interest to me because I saw it on Craigslist and said to myself, "I probably won't hate this job so much that it will make me want to bludgeon my coworkers."
I am available at any time for an interview and can begin work immediately. I look forward to discussing this position with you at further length in the near future. Thank you for your time and consideration.
P.S. Psych! I got an internship at Fader, bitches!