Maybe it's because I grew up around the heyday of feminism but the song Wive And Lovers always seemed somehow wrong to me. I remember the confusion I felt hearing Jack Jones calling a wife (someone's mom) a "little girl". Why would you do that? They had those...things...that Lisa Bigalow didn't have. Those things the woman at the pet store had that you could see because she had that macrame top and didn't mind you staring at them. Stare at Lisa Bigalow and you'd get punched. And her mom didn't even have that book with the word "Ladies" crossed out.
If you're here, you probably know Wives and Lovers. If not, the five-second synopsis goes like this
Seriously. No wonder Betty Friedan got pissed. "You want me to put on makeup before you get up, cook you a full breakfast, raise the spawn, have dinner for you when you get home, clean the dishes, put out at the drop of a hat AND manage the delicate balance of speed and valium that keeps me from killing you? Wake up and smell the coffee, Mister!"
Not everyone fell for the trap of feminism and self-reliance. Pick the right guy and you've got a maid to cook the breakfast and raise the kids and if you really get the right guy, he'll be able to write your prescriptions. BONUS!
Lois Wyse belongs to the pre-feminist 70's. You may find it hard to believe, but Love Poems for the Very Married sold 200,000 copies. All but 5 were bought in Manhattan. I kid. None of them were bought outside of Manhattan. In order keep my position here at WMFU, I'll only post Side One of this spoken broken word album.
A note of caution - you will hear not only crappy poetry, but swingin' jazz "stylings", whimiscal arrangements and a control freak husband whose sadisitic idea of a good time is to cover his wife's face and ask her to guess the time.
You know how you hear black people say how they heard first hand about slavery from their grandparents? This is kind of the same thing - except with upper middle class white people.
Download The Quicker To See You Again
Download The Grand Ballroom Of The Plaza Hotel
Download For An Out Of Town Husband
Download Lines To An Unhandy Man
Thanks this is great- and do you have a radio show in Boston, by any chance?
Posted by: Thanks | May 12, 2009 at 09:37 PM
I do have a radio show on www.wmfo.org 91.5FM in Boston. It's Mondays from 10am-Noon.
Posted by: Paul | May 13, 2009 at 08:32 AM
Next, a breakdown of Sandy Posey lyrics.
Posted by: Nick | May 13, 2009 at 09:08 AM
I'll need to check out the rights on Arthur Godfrey's ode to hilarious child beating, "Slap 'Er Down Again, Pa".
And if anyone has a copy of the song "That's Right, Don't Fight" (I think that's the name) with Marlene Dietrich advising her daughter to take her beatings and be thankful for them, I would be forever in your debt.
Posted by: Paul | May 13, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Holy Crap this is awesome! You mean there's more? Thanks for the post.
Posted by: Louisville Dan | May 13, 2009 at 11:19 AM
"treatin' the ladies to corn on the cob"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJs2VwqU_ZU
Posted by: rg | May 13, 2009 at 12:38 PM
What I find hard to believe,is that this wasn't put out on some song poem,or vanity label,but the same Flying Dutchman label,that gave us Gil Scott Heron,and so much great funk jazz.This is actually from the first of many best selling books Lois Wyse wrote.You know all that schlock like "Grandchildren are so Much Fun I Should Have Had Them First"? That's her.She's made a fortune off of that crap.
Posted by: Flying Dutchman | May 13, 2009 at 02:10 PM
Two words, my friend: Rod McKuen
Posted by: Paul | May 13, 2009 at 02:13 PM
I'll see yer Rod McKuen, and raise you Norman Mailer!
Posted by: K. | May 15, 2009 at 01:16 PM