People are all like, "bleh, noise music sounds like a baby could make it." But then they're like, "The Ramones invented punk and made better songs with three chords than Yes ever did." Get it straight. First of all, The Ramones only wrote one good song. (B) of all, you are using double standards. Lastly, babies can make experimental music and that is definitely a good thing. Human Skab, a ten year old whose LP was just reissued by Family Vineyard, geniusly foretold the realities of modern terrorism with panache to make Nicholas Cage jealous and the kid didn't even blow up any buildings to do it (via Brian Turner). And also, I read Alex Ross talking about Mahler in the New Yorker the other day and he is a tool. He is like, "Mahler wrote love songs to humanity." A baby could ALMOST write that. And then you give Ross the MacArthur Genius grant? Give it to a baby instead, for they are the future and must be nurtured. Did not Jesus, the one and true Son of God, say, "I praise you, Father, Lord of Heaven and Earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children"? See? I just can't believe how fucking stupid you are.Take this track from Meterruidos for instance. Is this not equal to Kagel's Acoustica and isn't Mahler an egomaniac? This was originally posted by Doron and isn't he a computer whiz, so shouldn't he know better than you?
Paul Rubenstein has been called the "best teacher ever" by Wired magazine. This makes him almost smart enough to be taught by himself. Do you even understand that? He led a classroom of Brooklyn students to build their own microtonal instruments, square wave oscillators and other instruments. This song is like Wavves meets Animal Collective meets Lord Finesse - have you ever heard of anything so trendy? Listen to more here.
Paul Rubenstein and PS 228 - This Is So Great
Listen to the Tangerine Awkestra. Is this not as if Chick Corea and the violinist from Mahavishnu Orchestra did LSD with Miles Davis and then Miles Davis left to go somewhere cooler? Get it straight, people! This is a project of Dave Soldier, who is almost as smart as a baby and has recorded many albums with children. Kenny G did a write up on Dave Soldier a while back and doesn't Kenny teach at UPenn, and isn't that a "highly selective" school and did you even go to college? Think about it. A baby has never been rejected from any college or job. Is your record that perfect?
Tangerine Awkestra - The Navy Bombs Them
Finally, somebody gets it right. The folks behind the "Improvised Music By Babies" compilation say: "All babies are geniuses." Truer words HAVE been babbled by a diarrhetic infant with snot all over his face. Brian Turner blogged about this a while ago and didn't he tell you about every band you ever liked? Do you even realize? Put Emeril's "Kicked Up Horseradish" on your grilled cheese sandwich with a slice of ham and tomato. You will not regret that.