What the hell is going on with the CIA? They seem to be screwing up everything these days - they can't seem to figure out which folks they should be disappearing and which folks they should search before letting into the secret bunkers. But a new report suggests that things are REALLY bad at Langley, somehow that guy who wrote FAG on everyone's locker in high school is now in charge!
According to the Guardian our secret service came up with the brilliant plan of making a Saddam Sex tape. A few young brown-skinned agents were to be shown having sex with a Saddam look alike! Someone pulled the plug before the cameras rolled "but that did not stop a CIA video being shot of a fake Osama bin Laden sitting around a camp fire, drinking booze and boasting of his own gay conquests." !!!
Our psyops are clearly bereft of good ideas. Feeling generous this morning I am going to offer them a free idea.
How to deal with Osama Bin Laden/Taliban/Al Qaeda for once and for all:
Denied the opportunity to go goth, many youth in the middle east turn to Jihad to deal with their angst and Osama is still one of the top google results. I say keep the video, guys in turbans sitting around a camp fire drinking is a good start. But instead of a gay thing, make it a secret meeting of the top Taliban and Al Qaeda commanders paying tribute to their supreme leader Osama Bin Laden. But then have Osama remove his rubber beard and reveal that he is actually George W. Bush! Now let me explain why this is the most awesome idea ever and not a five year old stale photoshop joke: The CIA uses the REAL ACTUAL George Bush for this video - and they film it on his ranch in Crawford, Texas. I think George would be totally down for this, he's not really doing much anymore, plus it would totally go to #1 on youtube. I mean Americans would know it is fake of course, but no Muslim kid would ever ever want to join Jihad again.
Ok, now that I have typed this up - maybe it is the most stupid idea ever, perhaps you have a better one? But we need to do something, the CIA needs our help!