For my top of the pops 2010 list I had planned to post the Top 10 records in my collection I don't know what are: a grand idea difficulticized by the fact that I also, then, don't know where to file them (or more pointedly, where I might have decided to file them at some point in the past). So it was only through painstaking and occasional labor starting somewhere around Dec. 29, 2010, that I was able to locate these mysterious recordings. Once I'd sorted that out I had to learn how to use a computer. So true, it's late, but it's also timeless.
If anyone reading this is the owner, creator or rights-holder for any of these recordings, and should they decide to send me a cease-and-desist, then, well, I'll know who made the record, right? So it's pretty much win-win.
The first is probably my favorite of the lot. I think I used to know what this piece of potty-mouthed political incorrectness was, but maybe I just remember when I bought it. Anyway, there's no text anywhere on the cover or vinyl, just this drawing of Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking Song
Number two on the miss parade is a weird bit of electo something called "Men in Love." This is my favorite track, although some others get more beat-oriented. I remember getting this at a music festival where, presumably, someone involved played. I think it was, like, experimental or something. The disc, at least, is Canadian.
Record number three is, I imagine, clearly identified - if you read Japanese. I bought it on the cheap thinking it'd be some nice traditional stuff, and maybe it is. What do I know. But it's bluesier and more gutteral than what would be used to represent the traditional in, say, a James Bond movie.
Number four I know who is, but I don't know what is. I bought this Fela tape on the street in the East Village. There was something about the coarse paper on the insert and the rough sticker on the cassette that called out to me. It's clearly a vinyl dub, and has no label or catalog number. I like to pretend it's an actual home dub that Fela sold at The Shrine in Nigeria. Sadly, it's probably easier to prove that wrong than right.
I bought exhibit five, which we'll call "Nightgown" at a little noise boutique in New York City. It was pretty cheap and I liked how carefully it was sewn together. Coudln't tell what it was, but somehow that's how we swing. I was reluctant to open it because doing so would mean tearing it apart. After a couple months, however, I decided the time had come to hear this mysterious music. Inside I found a blank CD-r with black Sharpee scribbles where you might expect to find something like a title or a name.
The second half of our collection here was saved from the ashcan at a high school in Vermont. These are obviously instructional records, or at least I think they obviously are. But they get a bit weird, and the covers could pass for something by one of those hip rock bands with complicated shoes. There's no text on them anywhere, though presumably they were boxed together at some point. They, too, seem to be from Canada. And I know nothing about the Canadian educational system.
The first person to correctly identify any of these audio documents in the comments with proof will get a rip of the full recording. If they want it.