WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Archie Club News #23

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, what is up with noise pollution? It is a more serious problem than we realize..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. This letter originally appeared in Archie #187, December 1968:

Dear Archie,

Have you ever noticed the way in which people shake hands? I didn't until I did a project on it and found it very interesting. There were many different kinds - a clincher, when a person squeezes your hand so hard that it nearly cuts your circulation off. An Ed Sullivan handshake is when your hand is shaken so violently you think it will continue vibrating the rest of your life. One more which has no name that I know of is one in which a person pulls and stretches your fingers. This is extremely dangerous sometimes, if the person is strong, because as I once heard it said, "If you don't stop them in time you may be wearing mittens the rest of your life!"

Joanne Burns
2273 Perran Drive
Clarkson, Ontario
Canada

Joanne's letter won first prize of five dollars for this issue. "Gonna make ya hafta wear mittens fer the rest of your life!" certainly sounds like something off The Sopranos.

Archie Club News #22

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, have you ever heard of gerbils?" Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. This letter originally appeared in Archie's Pals n' Gals #56, February 1970:

Dear Archie,

I would like to see you in the army, as a Staff Sergeant and Reggie a Private, and just see if you can get Betty and Veronica in the Wacs ... I am in the Army and I am representing my unit. A bunch of the guys were messing around and we figured it out. Archie should have Reggie on K.P. because he always seems too good to get dirty. I feel Jughead should be the Company Commander, and Big Moose should beat the heck out of all the officers and N.C.O.'s for making eyes at Midge, and then go to Viet Nam and end the war ...

SP-4 George A. Strickland
RA 18911249 Co. A 3rd Bm.
64th Armor
N.Y., N.Y. 09702

Archie Club News #21 - The Poems

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about my cat Winnie." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

Three types of letters appear again and again on the pages of Archie Club News. First, kids talking about their pets. Secondly, sycophantic praise for the Saturday morning Filmation Archie cartoon show. And thirdly, poetry (most of it written about Archie and the gang). Today, we showcase some of this poetry. For optimum effect, be certain to read these poems out loud, as they benefit from the drama of oration.

From Archie #182, June 1968:

Dear Archie:

TO THE KIDS WITH THE
  LONG STRINGY HAIR

Go to the store and buy a bottle of pop,
and on the way home stop at the barber shop.

Get up on his round swirling chair,
And let him cut your long stringy hair.

And then when he's all through with you,
I wonder if you'll wear pink or blue.

Annie Rice
212 Oxford Street
Portland, Me. 04111

Annie won third prize of two dollars for this issue.

From Archie and Me #23, February 1970:

Dear Archie.

I have a poem to dictate to you lucky people:

The Archies are the grooviest group around,
They always make the toughest sounds.
Archie and Reggie at the guitar,
The Archies are the neatest group by far.
With Jughead at the drums
The Archies ain't no bunch of crumbs
By Veronica the organ being played
Too bad the Archies ain't too much paid.
With Betty at the tambourine,
The Archies make the grooviest scene.
The Archies are out of sight,
They must be doing something right.

Mark Miller
Milton Dairy, Main Road
Milton, N.J.

Mark, deservedly, won first prize of five dollars for this issue.

Bunch more poems after the jump...

Archie Club News #20 (plus bonus Club Member Comment)

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about my cat Winnie." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. This letter originally appeared in Reggie and Me #27, January 1968. This one is NOT profound or prophetic. It is, perhaps, the single most mundane Archie Club News letter I have come across. I imagine this child was one of those drab unpopular children that grew up to be a hipster - or maybe a description writer for the Sears catalogue.

Dear Archie,

This year great attention has been shown towards stockings. Years ago nylons were a synonym for stockings. Today there are whole stores devoted just to the selling of stockings.

The newest fad in stockings is the window-panes. They are similar to fishnets, but the holes are larger. They are more practical than fishnets and nylons. Fishnets tear easily, nylons run, but window-panes are less liable to tear and in my opinion attractive. Fishnets are still in style, but they will probably fade out slowly. Although many people might disagree, we will see what next year's fashions bring.

Maury Grabel
343 East Chester
Long Beach, N.Y.

Maury's letter won first prize of five dollars for this issue.

As a special bonus, here is my favorite opening paragraph from the many Archie Club News I have read this week. I misplaced the issue, however, before writing down what issue it originally appeared in (I am  literally surrounded by several thousand Archie comics in this place).

Dear Archie,

Since summer is here you should know a little about butterflies. The reason I picked this topic is because one day I caught a Spicebush Shallowtail Butterfly. I had it for only two days and it died. Now on with my report!

Mary Zeuner
Phila., Pa

 

Also my oft-linked-to piece about Spire Christian Comics and Al Hartley's line of 1970's Christian Archie comics has been revised, updated, expanded and completely revamped. You can read a new and improved piece about Christian Archie comics over here.

Archie Club News #19

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I have something to say about pollution." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. This one is obviously heartfelt but also downright sad. It originally appeared in Archie #144, March 1964:

Dear Archie:

My father, brother and myself go places all the time. (My mother is deceased.) Last summer we went to the Seattle World's Fair ... A couple of years ago we visited our grandmother in Boston ... Every few years we visit her ...

... As you've probably guessed, I love horses and horseback riding. That as you can see is my hobby. You'll probably laugh at what I'm going to say next as everybody else does. I'm trying to save money for a horse. It will take me some time at the rate I'm going. But my father doesn't think it's as stupid as everybody else does. He even agreed to pay half. I'm only going to save about $150. I'm only 10 years old, but I believe strongly in God. I know that He will help me. 

I only have one pet, a kitten. I won't have him for long either. My father does not like pets. Everyone we have ever had has died. I guess that's why he doesn't like pets.

First that I can remember, we had a dog. He was black & white, so we named him Frosty Midnight. He was playing and he swallowed a rubber ball and died.

Sarah Batchelder
242 E. Home Street
Long Beach, Calif.

Sarah's letter won first prize of five dollars for this issue.

Archie Club News #17 and #18 (plus bonus Club Member comments)

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about the snow owl." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. This letter originally appeared in Laugh #173, August 1965:

MY SALUTE TO TELEVISION

What would a home be without television. Without the ring of commercials filling the air. Without the ring of theme songs that make our lives so bright and gay. Yes, when you feel you have no friends there's always the big friendly television set. You can always turn it on and have someone talk to you or always have someone smile or sing to you. Whenever you feel sad there is always the T.V. to make you smile or laugh. Yes, a home without a television is a home without glamor, a home without laughter and a home without sheer relaxation.

Preston McGovern
Box 133
Yorklyn, Del.

Preston is, today, a Manhattan artist living with HIV Aids, whose work often revolves around that theme. He is currently part of The Sparky Project exhibiting at the Schroeder Romero/Winkleman Gallery Project Space in NYC. He has previously chaired The University of Delaware's Visual AIDS Archive Project. Preston's letter won second prize of three dollars in this issue.

This letter originally appeared in Archie and Me #18, December 1967:

Dear Archie ...

Hi there! I'm Henry the portable TV and I'm four years old. I sometimes get the feeling I'm being watched. Here comes Tommy who is always spilling things all over me. Oh, no! - a chocolate malt. I better roll away. Too late. He did it again! He tells his mother it was just an accident but what do I care? I'm full of malted milk. Here comes Sally who is two years old. Click, click, click, click. This kid makes me crosseyed! Now comes Cindy the teenager to watch the Beatles. She gets me full of lipstick when she kisses them. Here comes mother to watch the soap operas, she cries all over me. I get pretty soggy after awhile. Oh no! - here comes father with his pipe. I hate that pipe. It makes me choke. Now the whole family is here staring at me. Believe me it's no fun being a portable TV!

Christy Lankford
2809 Colorado
San Angelo, Texas

Christy's letter won fourth prize of one dollar in this issue.

Occasionally the Archie Club News features letters that are not captivating enough to make the grade on this page, but contain a sentence or two that stands out. Here are three lines that struck me during my Archie perusals this week. From Reggie & Me #28, Reggie & Me #55 and Pals n' Gals #72: Dear Archie...

As I have recently joined your groovy club ... I decided to tell you something about the Phillippines ...  We are a proud people, but I'm sorry to say, not very hard working.
(Pauletta M. Chanco, Makati, Rizal, Phillippines)

I thought your story "Bell Bottom Booty" ... was just great.
(Mary Nichols, Fortuna, North Dakota)

I believe that even hamsters like Archie Comics.
(Judy McLain, Fortuna, California)
                                                                                                                                

Archie Club News #16

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about the snow owl." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. The following letter originally appeared in Archie #211, August 1971:

Dear Archie,

This year Edgewood has it all together. Especially with our new group The Subjected Soul's. We are a small group who can copy any group in the recording business. We try to do the best we can. Sometimes many of us get nervous because of the new people we see and old ones we know. But we keep on pouring on the sound of today.

We dig playing for little children at Elementary schools and Catholic schools. We get so many requests. We once had the crazy idea that we could be the first colored group on cartoons, and could prove that the blacks and whites and blues, reds, pinks, and greens and many other colors can get it together. And prove that we all can make it groovy.

L. Davis
710 Laverne Avenue
San Anotonio, Tex 78237

L. Davis' letter won 2nd prize of three dollars for this issue.

Archie Club News #15

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about Citizen Band Radios..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. The following letter originally appeared in Laugh #236, November 1970:

Dear Archie,

How would you like to start out on a peaceful trip to Europe, and end up in a Russian invasion?

Archie Club News #14

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about my infection..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Reggie & Me #42, July 1970:

Dear Archie,

I would like to tell you about my project for the year 1970. The project is raising money for my mother's and father's anniversary gift. My goal is $8.00. I am going to raise this money by doing odd jobs around the house and not spending any money on candy. These are some tips if someone else is trying to raise money.

Deborah Lofthouse
5905 Electric Avenue
Berkely, Calif. 60163

Deborah was two dollars closer to her goal when she won the third prize for her letter this issue. Any punctuation or spelling errors are recreated here just as they appear in the actual comic book.

Archie Club News #11, #12 and #13

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, the lion is known as King of the Jungle..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Life with Archie #105, January 1971:

Dear Archie,

These days more and more people seem to be finding themselves. They seem to have found their "bags" as a hip person might put it. But I suppose that I have known what my bag has been for the longest time. My bag is reading. It might sound weird and dull to you, but that is what it is. And although it may be weird it is far from dull ... Young persons today tend to experiment with drugs and other things, so why don't they try reading? You can certainly become addicted to it, but it's not a harmful addiction. You have nothing to lose and as a matter of fact you actually gain a lot ...

Archie Club News #9 and #10

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about composting." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Life with Archie #224, July 1981:

Dear Archie,

First of all, I don't think we should be assigned homework, because this is what our everyday schedule turns out to be: go to school for six and a half hours, get home and have about two hours to play, eat and do homework, then have about an hour to watch television or read, then go to bed!!!

Also, if the town decides to put a new road in, what have kids got to say about it? Nothing! We just watch all the nature and animals get torn away! Then everyone says we can do our part to help, but our part is a tiny speck ...

Also, I do think there should be some more DECENT movies. It's been at least four months since I've gone to the show.

Janise Orton
167 East Main Street
Springville, N.Y. 14141

The furious Janise Orton won the first prize of six dollars for this issue. Another child with strong opinions after the jump...

Archie Club News #8

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Have you ever seen a giraffe?" Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Jughead #190, April 1971:

Dear Archie,

I love listening to synthetic music with my stereo. That is, music from a moog computer. Sometimes I can get the sound completely balanced, and it is hard to tell where the sound is coming from. It sounds real neat! It's easy to read while I listen, because certain, well-synthesized tempered music isn't very distracting, and it is easy to understand what you are reading. However, I wouldn't recommend doing homework and listening to it at the same time.

Keith MacNevins
528 S. Edgewood Avenue
Lombard, Ill. 60148

Kevin's letter won the fourth prize of one dollar for this issue.

EXTRA ADDED SUPER SECRET SPECIAL BONUS: I'm sure Kevin would have loved this. It's Claude Denjean and his moog synthesizer performing The Archies' number one hit Sugar, Sugar.

Archie Club News #7

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, I love your records and cartoon show - they are the most!" Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

This letter originally appeared in Laugh #186, September 1966:

Dear Archie,

I took a trip to Disneyland last summer. I had the most fun ... in the motel. At night when we were looking out of the motel there were beautiful sights. Everything was so colorful and bright. The scenery is very nice at night. In the motel we had two bedrooms and a kitchen. I was very sorry when we came back home. But I still love the place. I hope that everybody gets to go to Disneyland.

Nanette Szabo
1601 Spring Road
Cleveland, Ohio

This letter won the fifth prize of one dollar. Sort of reminds you of that old cliché about the kid who receives an expensive toy as a gift but ends up being more interested in the empty box. A google search informs us that Ms. Szabo is now a customer service rep for a chemical company in Avon, Ohio. The small town of Avon is home to the annual Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival!

Archie Club News #6

Previously I have stated that "most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News." Most, but not all. In titles like That Wilkin' Boy or Betty and Me, the spot usually reserved for Archie Club News featured readers sending their letters and questions to advice columns manned by their favorite comic book characters. The following is from the feature "Dear Betty and Veronica."

This letter originally appeared in Archie Giant Series Magazine: Betty and Veronica Spectacular  #210, July 1973.

I'm kind of fat, but all in the middle -- sort of what you'd call a "spare tire" ! The boy I like keeps complimenting me! He says I have a cute face and nice legs and if I lost weight I'd be beautiful! Should I take this as a joke or that maybe he really likes me?

J.C., B'KLYN, N.Y.

The reply came from either Betty or Veronica - it is not specified which. I'm going to guess it was Veronica who devised this answer:

A "spare tire" is never a joke! I think he really likes you and I wouldn't "spare" anytime getting rid of the "spare tire"!

Archie Club News #5

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you the day I got a tape worm..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

This letter originally appeared in The New Archies #14 May 1989:

Dear Archie:

My report is on computers ... In the future, computers will become an even more important part of our lives than they are today. Computers will also be different and more powerful. While some people say that computers will never replace humans because computers can't think, that's not necessarily true. Scientists are already experimenting with computers that can actually think for themselves! Who knows, maybe when you grow up, computers will have the right to vote!

Stephen Perkins
Cordele, GA

I think Stephen accurately predicts the problems we'd experience eleven years later with computerized voting machines. Although computers do not legally possess the right to vote, they are more than willing to change a vote for a democrat to that of a republican. Good call Stephen. By the way, I'm fairly certain that this Stephen Perkins is not the drummer from Jane's Addiction.

If you've read the other letters in our Archie Club News series you may also notice a difference here. Archie Comics decided by the late eighties to no longer print the child's full street address. Previously the full name, city, street address and zip code were provided for all to read. Initially, the concept behind giving out a letter writer's address was to encourage the worldwide Archie Comics pen pal program. By signing up to be a card carrying member of the exclusive Archie Club you also allowed yourself to be put on the roster of lonely children desperate to find somebody else who read Archie comics. Did it instead encourage molesters to lure kids with promises of free Archie Comics instead of candy? Probably not, but one imagines that was the reasoning behind the change.

Archie Club News #3 and #4

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about the time I got food poisoning..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound as we saw in posts one and two of this series. I've been sorting through my musty collection of Archie Comics trying to find the next gem but, believe me, Starchild is a very tough act to follow. That is why today I am posting two letters, to sorta soften the blow of having to follow a kid from space.

This letter originally appeared in Jughead #164, January 1969:

Dear Archie,

Archie Club News #2

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about my step-father's rash..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project in which elementary school children were learning how to write a letter and encouraged to send something Riverdale way. Other times the letters were profound, bizarre or insane. That's the type of letter I wish to showcase in this series. So here then, is the second installment of Beware of the Blog's Archie Club News.

This letter originally appeared in Everything's Archie #77, August 1979:

Dear Archie,

I'm Starchild and the school I attend is called the Space Dome. The school floats on a cloud and is in the shape of an egg. The school starts at the fibus (5th) grade and goes to colony (college). Here at the Space dome, fibus and colony are only 4 grades apart. The reason for that is the highly programmed computers we have teaching us are most effective. We have recess every cardi (3 hours) and of course, lunch time is great. Just push a button and it's anything your heart desires! Subjects consist of Mathdust, Language and Job Careers, Historic Events, and Science 5. We write with small machines similar to calculators. We don't have any books because we use mini-recorders. Imagine what would happen to all of our learning if accidentally we stepped on our mini-recorders & squashed them!

Brenda Dobson
13541 Kaslo Drive
Woodbridge, Va. 22193

Brenda(Starchild)'s letter was the winner of the five dollar grand prize this issue.

Archie Club News #1

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about my recent trip to the zoo..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project in which elementary school children were learning how to write a letter and encouraged to send something Riverdale way. However, other times the letters were profound, bizarre or insane. That's the type of letter I wish to showcase in this series. So here then, is the first installment of Beware of the Blog's Archie Club News.

This letter originally appeared in Archie's T.V. Laugh-Out #10, November 1971:

Dear Archie,

I am writing this letter to tell you my ideas on the world today. First, let's start with the schools. Everyone knows there are riots going on in the schools. I am lucky to go to one where there are no riots but I don't know why there are none. For example our school is in very bad shape. In the senior high, when it rains, the roof leaks in many different places. All they do is throw buckets under the leaks. In the junior high the dressing rooms for gym are run down, with the ceilings caving in. In a couple different places the stairs are falling in. Do they do anything? No. One of these days, someone is going to get hurt or worse. Another thing is the teachers. Without mentioning names I'll give you an example. I have a teacher that told me I was a liar, I was irresponsible and she even told me that there was something wrong with my brain. That is almost like telling me that I am retarted.

Another thing is this war. I read somewhere that we spend over 3 times more on the war than on education. If people would quit worrying about the overseas affairs and look at our country, they would see what a mess we are in. I, myself, am strictly against the war and I believe something should be done about the mess we are in. Another question: Why are we giving so much money and food to foreign countries ... there are millions here in the U.S. dying of starvation. Why not feed them ... We are in fact creating a monster.

Steve Thunberg
332 Wayne Street
Beaver, PA. 15009

Steve's letter was the winner of the five dollar grand prize this issue.