WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Archie Club News #16

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about the snow owl." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. The following letter originally appeared in Archie #211, August 1971:

Dear Archie,

This year Edgewood has it all together. Especially with our new group The Subjected Soul's. We are a small group who can copy any group in the recording business. We try to do the best we can. Sometimes many of us get nervous because of the new people we see and old ones we know. But we keep on pouring on the sound of today.

We dig playing for little children at Elementary schools and Catholic schools. We get so many requests. We once had the crazy idea that we could be the first colored group on cartoons, and could prove that the blacks and whites and blues, reds, pinks, and greens and many other colors can get it together. And prove that we all can make it groovy.

L. Davis
710 Laverne Avenue
San Anotonio, Tex 78237

L. Davis' letter won 2nd prize of three dollars for this issue.

Archie Club News #15

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about Citizen Band Radios..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly. The following letter originally appeared in Laugh #236, November 1970:

Dear Archie,

How would you like to start out on a peaceful trip to Europe, and end up in a Russian invasion?

Archie Club News #14

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, I want to tell you about my infection..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Reggie & Me #42, July 1970:

Dear Archie,

I would like to tell you about my project for the year 1970. The project is raising money for my mother's and father's anniversary gift. My goal is $8.00. I am going to raise this money by doing odd jobs around the house and not spending any money on candy. These are some tips if someone else is trying to raise money.

Deborah Lofthouse
5905 Electric Avenue
Berkely, Calif. 60163

Deborah was two dollars closer to her goal when she won the third prize for her letter this issue. Any punctuation or spelling errors are recreated here just as they appear in the actual comic book.

Archie Club News #11, #12 and #13

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like, "Dear Archie, the lion is known as King of the Jungle..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Life with Archie #105, January 1971:

Dear Archie,

These days more and more people seem to be finding themselves. They seem to have found their "bags" as a hip person might put it. But I suppose that I have known what my bag has been for the longest time. My bag is reading. It might sound weird and dull to you, but that is what it is. And although it may be weird it is far from dull ... Young persons today tend to experiment with drugs and other things, so why don't they try reading? You can certainly become addicted to it, but it's not a harmful addiction. You have nothing to lose and as a matter of fact you actually gain a lot ...

Archie Club News #9 and #10

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about composting." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Life with Archie #224, July 1981:

Dear Archie,

First of all, I don't think we should be assigned homework, because this is what our everyday schedule turns out to be: go to school for six and a half hours, get home and have about two hours to play, eat and do homework, then have about an hour to watch television or read, then go to bed!!!

Also, if the town decides to put a new road in, what have kids got to say about it? Nothing! We just watch all the nature and animals get torn away! Then everyone says we can do our part to help, but our part is a tiny speck ...

Also, I do think there should be some more DECENT movies. It's been at least four months since I've gone to the show.

Janise Orton
167 East Main Street
Springville, N.Y. 14141

The furious Janise Orton won the first prize of six dollars for this issue. Another child with strong opinions after the jump...

Archie Club News #8

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Have you ever seen a giraffe?" Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

The following letter originally appeared in Jughead #190, April 1971:

Dear Archie,

I love listening to synthetic music with my stereo. That is, music from a moog computer. Sometimes I can get the sound completely balanced, and it is hard to tell where the sound is coming from. It sounds real neat! It's easy to read while I listen, because certain, well-synthesized tempered music isn't very distracting, and it is easy to understand what you are reading. However, I wouldn't recommend doing homework and listening to it at the same time.

Keith MacNevins
528 S. Edgewood Avenue
Lombard, Ill. 60148

Kevin's letter won the fourth prize of one dollar for this issue.

EXTRA ADDED SUPER SECRET SPECIAL BONUS: I'm sure Kevin would have loved this. It's Claude Denjean and his moog synthesizer performing The Archies' number one hit Sugar, Sugar.

Archie Club News #7

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, I love your records and cartoon show - they are the most!" Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

This letter originally appeared in Laugh #186, September 1966:

Dear Archie,

I took a trip to Disneyland last summer. I had the most fun ... in the motel. At night when we were looking out of the motel there were beautiful sights. Everything was so colorful and bright. The scenery is very nice at night. In the motel we had two bedrooms and a kitchen. I was very sorry when we came back home. But I still love the place. I hope that everybody gets to go to Disneyland.

Nanette Szabo
1601 Spring Road
Cleveland, Ohio

This letter won the fifth prize of one dollar. Sort of reminds you of that old cliché about the kid who receives an expensive toy as a gift but ends up being more interested in the empty box. A google search informs us that Ms. Szabo is now a customer service rep for a chemical company in Avon, Ohio. The small town of Avon is home to the annual Avon Heritage Duct Tape Festival!

Archie Club News #6

Previously I have stated that "most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News." Most, but not all. In titles like That Wilkin' Boy or Betty and Me, the spot usually reserved for Archie Club News featured readers sending their letters and questions to advice columns manned by their favorite comic book characters. The following is from the feature "Dear Betty and Veronica."

This letter originally appeared in Archie Giant Series Magazine: Betty and Veronica Spectacular  #210, July 1973.

I'm kind of fat, but all in the middle -- sort of what you'd call a "spare tire" ! The boy I like keeps complimenting me! He says I have a cute face and nice legs and if I lost weight I'd be beautiful! Should I take this as a joke or that maybe he really likes me?

J.C., B'KLYN, N.Y.

The reply came from either Betty or Veronica - it is not specified which. I'm going to guess it was Veronica who devised this answer:

A "spare tire" is never a joke! I think he really likes you and I wouldn't "spare" anytime getting rid of the "spare tire"!

Archie Club News #5

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you the day I got a tape worm..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound and other times prophetic or just silly.

This letter originally appeared in The New Archies #14 May 1989:

Dear Archie:

My report is on computers ... In the future, computers will become an even more important part of our lives than they are today. Computers will also be different and more powerful. While some people say that computers will never replace humans because computers can't think, that's not necessarily true. Scientists are already experimenting with computers that can actually think for themselves! Who knows, maybe when you grow up, computers will have the right to vote!

Stephen Perkins
Cordele, GA

I think Stephen accurately predicts the problems we'd experience eleven years later with computerized voting machines. Although computers do not legally possess the right to vote, they are more than willing to change a vote for a democrat to that of a republican. Good call Stephen. By the way, I'm fairly certain that this Stephen Perkins is not the drummer from Jane's Addiction.

If you've read the other letters in our Archie Club News series you may also notice a difference here. Archie Comics decided by the late eighties to no longer print the child's full street address. Previously the full name, city, street address and zip code were provided for all to read. Initially, the concept behind giving out a letter writer's address was to encourage the worldwide Archie Comics pen pal program. By signing up to be a card carrying member of the exclusive Archie Club you also allowed yourself to be put on the roster of lonely children desperate to find somebody else who read Archie comics. Did it instead encourage molesters to lure kids with promises of free Archie Comics instead of candy? Probably not, but one imagines that was the reasoning behind the change.

Archie Club News #3 and #4

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about the time I got food poisoning..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project. Elementary school children were in the process of learning how to write letters and encouraged by a teacher to send something Riverdale way. Sometimes the letters were weird or even profound as we saw in posts one and two of this series. I've been sorting through my musty collection of Archie Comics trying to find the next gem but, believe me, Starchild is a very tough act to follow. That is why today I am posting two letters, to sorta soften the blow of having to follow a kid from space.

This letter originally appeared in Jughead #164, January 1969:

Dear Archie,

Archie Club News #2

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about my step-father's rash..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project in which elementary school children were learning how to write a letter and encouraged to send something Riverdale way. Other times the letters were profound, bizarre or insane. That's the type of letter I wish to showcase in this series. So here then, is the second installment of Beware of the Blog's Archie Club News.

This letter originally appeared in Everything's Archie #77, August 1979:

Dear Archie,

I'm Starchild and the school I attend is called the Space Dome. The school floats on a cloud and is in the shape of an egg. The school starts at the fibus (5th) grade and goes to colony (college). Here at the Space dome, fibus and colony are only 4 grades apart. The reason for that is the highly programmed computers we have teaching us are most effective. We have recess every cardi (3 hours) and of course, lunch time is great. Just push a button and it's anything your heart desires! Subjects consist of Mathdust, Language and Job Careers, Historic Events, and Science 5. We write with small machines similar to calculators. We don't have any books because we use mini-recorders. Imagine what would happen to all of our learning if accidentally we stepped on our mini-recorders & squashed them!

Brenda Dobson
13541 Kaslo Drive
Woodbridge, Va. 22193

Brenda(Starchild)'s letter was the winner of the five dollar grand prize this issue.

Archie Club News #1

Throughout the nineteen sixties, seventies and eighties, most issues of Archie Comics featured a two-page spread titled Archie Club News. The banner at the top of the page announced, "ARCHIE CLUB MEMBERS send in your news reports and be eligible to win cash prizes in the Archie Series Magazines." The results of this venture were generally irrelevant notes sent in like "Dear Archie, Let me tell you about my recent trip to the zoo..." Often what was sent in appeared to be part of a class project in which elementary school children were learning how to write a letter and encouraged to send something Riverdale way. However, other times the letters were profound, bizarre or insane. That's the type of letter I wish to showcase in this series. So here then, is the first installment of Beware of the Blog's Archie Club News.

This letter originally appeared in Archie's T.V. Laugh-Out #10, November 1971:

Dear Archie,

I am writing this letter to tell you my ideas on the world today. First, let's start with the schools. Everyone knows there are riots going on in the schools. I am lucky to go to one where there are no riots but I don't know why there are none. For example our school is in very bad shape. In the senior high, when it rains, the roof leaks in many different places. All they do is throw buckets under the leaks. In the junior high the dressing rooms for gym are run down, with the ceilings caving in. In a couple different places the stairs are falling in. Do they do anything? No. One of these days, someone is going to get hurt or worse. Another thing is the teachers. Without mentioning names I'll give you an example. I have a teacher that told me I was a liar, I was irresponsible and she even told me that there was something wrong with my brain. That is almost like telling me that I am retarted.

Another thing is this war. I read somewhere that we spend over 3 times more on the war than on education. If people would quit worrying about the overseas affairs and look at our country, they would see what a mess we are in. I, myself, am strictly against the war and I believe something should be done about the mess we are in. Another question: Why are we giving so much money and food to foreign countries ... there are millions here in the U.S. dying of starvation. Why not feed them ... We are in fact creating a monster.

Steve Thunberg
332 Wayne Street
Beaver, PA. 15009

Steve's letter was the winner of the five dollar grand prize this issue.