WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Seen, but not really believed...

 This was scrawled on the wall of a post office I frequent. I can't say that MAIL is my biggest complaint in the world, but maybe I'm alone in that thought.

It's Why We Say Gesundheit

I am minding my own business, sitting at Gate 62 in LAX ready to fly back to the east coast. In the morning, I will hit the ground running, as I'm going to be hosting Cheetah Chrome with very special guests The Blackhearts on my program the next day on very little sleep. My mind is jammed with my "to-do" list; my hopes of catching some shuteye on the plane, what records I need to pull and notes I need for my program, what the weather will be like when I get back --and other annoyances. THEN I become absolutely, and completely 100% present to what I see walking past me at Gate 62...

Motor/Mouth: DIane Kamikaze

Motor/Mouth is a bi-weekly series all about WFMU staffer's rides, whether motorized or non, private vehicle or public transportation, new and fuel-efficient or old and ready for the junk heap: everyone's got to get to the station somehow.

This week we meet Diane Kamikaze's ride:

Main form of transportation: 2007 Subara Forester, mileage unknown, purchased a year ago in Jersey City.

What made you pick it? Armed with a 6 cd changer and it's black (grrrr)

Your nickname for it: Don't have one.

How much longer will you keep it? At least until the next Motorhead album comes out.

Favorite thing about it: Its headlights look like Iron Man's eyes.

Least favorite thing about it: It can't fit a hundred people in it.

Rate your satisfaction level from 1 – 10: 10.

What is your dream form of transportation? Teleportation.

Anything else you’d like to mention: Diane's Kamikaze Fun Machine 3-6 Thursdays.

Bat Day

Baseball season is a distant memory - even more so for those of us in the NY area - it's rare that a local team isn't in contention- we've been uninterested for so long now, it seems like the schedule ended sometime in 2007.

I was at the humble abode of my brother and his family the other night. The kids were winding down and the McBoingboing residence was descending into the lull that marks the end of the weekend. A shriek, and then a stampede of people come running up the steps from the family room. There's yelping, howling and other modes of expression coming from what I knew to be humans; eyeballs nearly popping out of heads, hands clasped to mouths and a lot of  stuttering. A BAT IS DOWNSTAIRS. So the weekend hasn't yet ended, apparently.

I just had to...

Someone's done the math, wikipedia listing...
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cat-Toast_Device

Skybombers, Apache blow the roof off the Cherry Blossom Clinic!!

They came from all over the place, more specifically- Melbourne, and San Francisco. They are Skybombers, and Apache, two bands on a collision course that met up in Jersey City on Terre T's Cherry Blossom Clinic last Saturday! Here is the link to the playlist, and alongside is a pic of Skybombers guitarist Hugh Gurney and drummer Scottie McMurtrie giving it up in WFMU's live (love!) room.

Thank You, Drive Thru!

Today, the second of two recent "drive through" incidents occurred for me, so I must vent, or at least confess, and I'll start with going back to memory a bit. Years and years and years ago, I had friends who worked in a Burger King located on a secondary highway in NJ, that had a drive thru. I remember that the driveway of it was sort of convoluted, as you had to travel around the entire building to get to the window because of a funny curb/lane thing that had been put in to "guide" drivers. Seeing people hop the curb happened often, but even more chuckle inducing would be when a driver intent on getting their Whooper with extra pickles would drive right into these poles that stood about 3 feet high, about 9 inches wide, metal shelled, filled with cement, and surrounded the place for, ah safety - ouch!...chuckle chuckle. While we stood in the back eating from a GIANT barrel of pickles, we would watch corner panel after corner panel fold like accordions against those bright yellow poles.

Nature Slaughter Scenes

So I'm not a frequent blogger, but was feeling it was time for a post...sometimes it comes to me, sometimes it doesn't. Up to the other day, it hadn't. I was in the middle of my program last Thursday, playing a piece by the Squirm Orchestra called "Nature Slaughter Scenes" and BAM!! It hit me. But I'll give you some info on the catalyst before I go into another horrific story of something else I've seen in my life that was mortifying, and I just happened to be there - don't get that reference? Check a past blog post here. Squirm Orchestra are from the Indiana/Michigan area, are a sextet, whose improv electro hand-sewn cd: Somersaults Inside Ourselves is in the WFMU new bin right now. It's finely crafted both visually and aurally; nice! OK, now for the bloody stuff, goody!

Chiller Theatre, Liza and the Osmond Brothers

91 year old Ernest Borgnine was a featured guest at the most recent Chiller Theatre Expo that was hosted at the Parsippany Hilton. I managed to get a sliver of time with him - enough to get a station ID! (MP3) While standing in line to get this photo signed - him in 1955 after receiving an academy award for Best Actor in "Marty", I could hear him saying to people "I bet you thought I was dead!" The man was hilarious, in great form- although I hoped to see his lovely wife (and beauty product mogul), Tova in attendance, he was flying solo. Check out the WFMU Aircheck program that featured ONLY station IDs (Real Audio)! Others who WERE in attendance: Elvira, Barry Bostwick, Brigitte Nielsen, Richard Kiel, Lou Ferrigno, Joe Pantoliano, William B. Davis, William Forsythe (pictured left with moi), Stella Stevens and Mickey Dolenz among many others. I've been collecting autographs for years. I'll tell you the story of one of the first autographs I ever got.

A Quick Memory Of Johnny Thunders

Johnny Thunders has been dead for 17 years now. Whoa. I had the opportunity to see Thunders live in a few different bands he was in, but my most vivid memory of him was actually less musically oriented, and more humor and food oriented, sorta. Flash back to Englander's; a club/pub/bar in Hillside NJ that held shows (The Smithereens concur that their first gig was there). It was October or November sometime in the early eighties. I could not find the date searching online & am not great at retaining exact dates so far back. Fill in your own if it makes you happy. Englander's was situated on a main street, and I was parked with friends on that street somewhat down a hill from where the club was. We were early, and Thunders was notorious for playing late, if at all, so we were hanging out in the car probably smoking weed and listening to tunes. I was sitting in the front passenger seat, and lo & behold I see a person struggling with something at the top of the hill, close to where the bar was. It was an object that was fairly large - larger than a bastketball, and they were having trouble handling it - it was obvious it was heavy. There was just a sheen of ice/frost on the sidewalk, and I could see that was making it difficult for the person we now were watching -  deal with this item.

SXSW: Butts, Bulls, Backpatches & BBQ

Ah, so there I was, in the land where everything has to do with meat or music, in one way or another. I had never ventured to this conference/land o' plenty festivalism before and was glad to see what all the ruckus was about! After checking in, dropping my stuff off at my friend Mer's house, and receiving my SX gear, I went to the first venue of many. I started my "holiday" as it were, at Red 7, to see the mighty EASY ACTION, yea! I caught John, Harold, Tony & Matt in the backyard/second stage of the venue before they went on & captured some of this buttiness... I mean nuttiness...OK, so it was not really a big deal, I thought it was amazing that Mr. Gold, Mr. Red and Mr. Silver all had no pantylines - these guys are pros - no doubt performing at a venue near you soon. EA vocalist John Brannon told me that he was going to be singing some Negative Approach songs later in the week with Fucked Up on the famous Congress Street "Bat" Bridge at 2am. Most of the bats are still away in warmer Mexico, but just the idea of seeing anyone play at 2am on a bridge that's famous for bat migration was pretty great.

I Owe My Life To Hugh Cornwell

No - he's not my dad or anything, jeez - that's my dad on the right. Hugh Cornwell was the lead vocalist & guitar player for The Stranglers for about 15 years; he now plays on his own or with bandmates he's more recently organized. The Stranglers was the band that really blew me away and prompted me to focus on music in my life from that point on. He played at the Blender Gramercy Theater last Saturday night, and I got the chance to tell him that I was glad he was alive. Don't start shedding any tears, kiddies..it just ain't like that...

Dianekamikaze Craps In Her Pants

So I just got an email commenting on something I mentioned on the latest edition of DKFM. The Melvins have a new CD out - (A) Senile Animal on Ipecac, & in my backannouncing frenzy I waxed poetic about how great they were live - the last time I saw them was at Maxwell's this past October, and they really were massive, perfect and heavy all at once. A kind listener emailed me to tell me that when he saw the Melvins live he "literally" crapped his pants. This email brought back memories of when I once "literally" crapped in my pants, so here goes...

From the Trenches - Triac In the WFMU Live Room

They came from Baltimore to grace the WFMU airwaves; TRIAC, featuring one member of Hatebeak, were musical guests last night on Andrew Listfield's fill-in program for Pat Duncan. Listen here (about 22 minutes in) for the MP3 version of their set; here to check it out in RealAudio. Triac treated the listening audience to an onslaught of 10 songs of their trademark sludgy, furious grind. The new cd, Dead House Dreaming, that features cover artwork from artist extraordinaire Stephen Kasner, is just recently out on the Reptilian label. The Cosmic Cowboy got a good aerial shot of them while clutching onto a ceiling fan for dear life, fearful of dropping into the whirling madness of the room below. Before they left, we chatted off-mic about things near & dear; Route 17 and the Paramus Mall, a website where you can listen to the entire HAWK album and other classic 80s metal finds, cutlery and good posture. Check out the archive, buy their album, see them live, Triac commands you!

If You Missed Easy Action on WFMU

You don't have to beat yourself up (they might, though); you can listen to the archive in Real Audio or MP3 formats (fast forward in about an hour). Check Andrew Listfield's playlist to be sure (great job filling in for Pat Duncan last night), but they treated the WFMU audience to 10 ear damaging numbers of Detroit's harshest guitar rock.  And here's more reasons why you should listen... They drove straight from Detroit to play WFMU after seeing the Rolling Stones perform on Wednesday night.. Their new record called Friends of Rock & Roll on Reptilian Records kicks ass... That aforementioned record was produced by Detroit veteran Jim Diamond... Their vocalist, John Brannon, is responsible for being the center point of the band that put out the most ferocious hardcore record ever released: Negative Approach's debut 10 track 7" in 1982. His voice is still a force to be reckoned with & Easy Action definitely deserves the attention. Just off a 7-week tour, they picked up a couple of East Coast dates just to play WFMU & will be back in this area again later in the month; check their date listings to be sure. And they LOVED the decor at WFMU; they requested to have their photo taken in front of the DJ Lockers, what's not to like?

WFMU Fashion on the Road

Hooray! On my way to WFMU Thursday I saw TWO people wearing WFMU t-shirts. TWO I say! TWO sightings! Good lord, this is exciting, and the fact that I didn't kill either one of them while driving is just as amazing as the sightings themselves. The first was a guy on a motorcycle wearing a blue metalflake helmet coming out of the huge post office in the bowels of Kearny. He was sporting the "Learn Radio at Home" shirt by Chris Ware that we still sell in the WFMU webshop; it looked comfortably broken in. The other fella, who was helping/teaching someone how to park their car on the street in Jersey City was wearing a sweat-stained vintage "Stop the Descent" shirt. I always chuckled to myself "Stop the Decent" whenever I wore mine  (pictured right), as WFMU has to stand for something, and although indecency by FCC standards is not really what I meant, being anything but decent in today's society is commendable and completely in line with my Beavisian humor. And just because I mentioned our gear & the only link in the posting is to our store does not mean anyone put me up to this. OK, Ken, let go of my hair....

Will Smith Does Ozzfest

OK, not really, but he's there. America's favorite ex-rapper, Mr. Will Smith is traveling on this year's Ozzfest. Why? His wife, Jada Pinkett-Smith is the lead singer of a "metal" band called Wicked Wisdom who is playing the second stage daily. Sigh. You know where this is going & it's gonna be ugly. So first, let's briefly talk about Ozzfest. 3/4ths of the performers on the 2nd (smaller) stage have to pay Sharon/Ozzy/Ozzfest Inc. the sum of $100,000 for the privilege of playing. Sound like a good deal? On the surface it seems like perhaps it could be worth it for the exposure (it doesn't to me, but someone's gotta play Devil's Advocate), but your money could be better spent on a publicist for a couple of years for that dough. The "second" stage starts at 9:30am, so whoever plays first (The Haunted the day I went) gets no new audience. Aside from whether or not it's a good idea to pay the money to play, Ozzfest has spots that are coveted by metal bands, new and old.

Fury Fest: France's Answer to Heavy Metal Parking Lot

For Diane's accompanying audio archives on Fury Fest 2005, click here: Realaudio | MP3. For the playlist, click here and for the bigass Fury Fest Foto Gallery, click here. 

After the bloodbath in Paris, see this blog entry, was I really ready to go to LeMans for Fury Fest, the best metal/punk/heavy lineup of the summer for three days of camping and partying with my horns up? Hell yeah!

June 24th, Friday, my friend Rob & I were off, leaving from Paris for an uneventful but safe drive to LeMans once we found the Peripherique (the highway that encircles Paris, and basically the "way out"). Fury Fest was right next to the LeMans raceway at Le Parc Expo du Mans, but although the two sites were next to each other, both were huge and I could not get a decent photo of the racetrack from the site, it was still too distant.

We met friends near the festival entrance & proceeded to set up camp; putting up the tents was the easy part - finding an area where we'd be able to find our tents at night while in any condition, that was a bit trickier. A spot by a light pole was perfect, and the labor was done in minutes, voila!

The festival was set up with three stages, all inside; total band count for the festival is a whopping 96, and as far as I know, the only band who did not make it was Murphy's Law. Most of the bands on earlier in the day are given half hour sets, then 45 minutes to about 25% of the performers, then the headliners get anywhere between one & 1.5 hours to play. The Velvet Stage would be the first one I hit today; Belgium's Leng Tche, featuring the vocalist from Aborted on drums was on at 12:55. The Velvet Stage is the smallest

Paris Becomes Land of the Dead, or an Exercise in the "Six Degrees of Separation" Theory

WARNING!! GRAPHIC GROSSNESS APPROACHETH!!  I can see the question marks over your heads already... it's really very simple. I witnessed an event on my recent trip to Paris that made me think I was in the new George A. Romero film, "Land of the Dead", or at least on the special effects lot. Oddly enough, I had just been to the catacombs - foreshadowing has never been so obvious.  On the Seine, a river known for the beauty that surrounds it, I hop on one of those giant tour boats for a spin up around Notre Dame and back to kill about an hour. It's the equivalent to the NY Circle Line. I'm on the top deck snapping pix of the bridges from underneath, the amazing architecture lining the Seine & just trying to ignore the obnoxious tourists on this vehicle. I, of course, am far from obnoxious and minding my own business. It starts to rain a bit & I go downstairs to the glass enclosed area, sheltered but still easy to take a gander at what Paris has to offer from here. There I am standing in the front of the boat next to a gentleman who I took no notice of previously (and that would change SOON) staring out the huge windows. The rain kicks up a notch and a gust of wind slams shut one of the giant glass and metal doors at the front of the boat. The tourist next to me (a middle aged asian man) turns to me with his left hand raised vertically, knuckles toward me and lets out a grunt/uhhuhhhhgh/death metal rumble sound. I look at his hand and make a similar sound back to him, definitely more high pitched, less like a death metal vocal than he did, perhaps a bit more black metal. His fingers had been cut off below the first (top) knuckle...

Blowguns, Beach Whistles...

"Blowguns, Beach Whistles and the True Definition of Powerlessness" is the name of a video project by Scott Harrison, illustrator and tattoo artist extraordinaire. And you thought I was writing a summer account of some kind of altercation with a life guard... No really, you need to check out his website, but beware; cartoon genitalia abounds...as he warns. The project is available for your viewing pleasure on his site - it's a collection of stories told by tattooers all over the globe (I think they are all tattooers..?) From the mundane to the "too much information- I don't feel like eating anymore" category, the yarns are worth a viewing. His site "links" page has a link to this fine radio station front and center - reason enough to check out his pristine yet disturbing artwork - TONS of it, and the artwork of many others. You'll need a day to browse - the man is obsessed with eggs methinks, but you will come back again and again. Scott is also a part of a 6 person show (the website says 6 tattoo artists but it's actually 5 plus a NJ photographer) that is traveling the United States; this gallery gives you the lowdown on that... coming to a town near you!