WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Radio News You Can't Use

I apologize, it's been far too long since I've used this blog to geek out on radio news. A few recent happenings have drawn me out of this whole "working in radio" thing and into talking smack about it on the internet for a few minutes!

First up: Webcasting Royalties
In case you haven't heard, webcasters and SoundExchange (the web streaming arm of the RIAA) have renegotiated terms for webcasting royalties. Instead of accepting SoundExchange's initial offer of web performance royalty rates that would surely put webcasters out of business, webcasters threw a fit (we were part of the fit), held rounds and rounds of negotiations, and over a year later accepted a new rate scheme that would only nearly put them out of business. These new terms, which for large webcasters is a minimum of 25% of annual revenue, have been lauded by some. However, if you look at typical performance royalty rates for satellite radio (6.5% in 2009), or ASCAP/BMI royalties for terrestrial radio (roughly 1 - 3%), that 25% figure starts to look bloated. Luckily for WFMU, NFCB and CPB made separate negotiations with SoundExhange including more affordable rates, and we are covered under these terms.

New FCC Chair
The Obama administration's nominee for FCC Chair, Julius Genachowski, was recently confirmed by the Senate. After outgoing FCC Chair Kevin Martin thoroughly angered congress and the public with scandalous antics like that Details magazine spread, relaxing media consolidation rules, and "losing" an important study on media ownership (and all the while leading the fight against broadcast indecency) Genachowski has some mopping up to do. The good news is, Genachowski has heard of the internet: he believes in net neutrality and might actually re-do the FCC's website to make it a little less 1996ish (more on the Genachowski team here). The bad news is, Genachowski leans towards the gestapistic view of broadcast indecency (he supports enforcing fines for fleeting profanity), and the FCC's main proponent of 1st Amendment protections, Jonathan Adelstein, will be leaving the commission soon.

FCC fine for Janet's Wardrobe Malfunction thrown out

Good news: a U.S. appeals court tossed CBS' $550,000 indecency fine for Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction.

Thanks to Becky for the heads-up!

Millie Jackson's Indecent Symphony (video)

Millie Jackson is not only famous for her award-winning album covers, but probably also holds the record for the most FCC violations in a single symphony. Here is a live version from 1984.

YouTube link is here.

Rabbit Silly

Beware the countdown to Global Digital Domination!  I wanted to have my shit together a little bit ahead of the 17 million Americans like me who are either cable service refusniks or in the lower socio-economic quarter who utilize Old School Rabbit Ears to catch the news, Gossip Girl, Access Hollywood, PBS, Fox, Montel and our "stories".
I planned it pretty well, ordering my government discount coupon two months ago, finally recieving it last week. It looked more like a debit card, pretty sophisticated I guess. I'm also guessing the government can now confirm that I'm a cheap asshole. I sat through an online tutorial that explained how easy this was going to be once I purchased and installed my converter box. How I'd suddenly get a bunch of channels I didn't even know I could get. They also mentioned the converter boxes were between $40-$70. In my naivete I figured since my coupon was worth forty bucks that I could ostensibly find a free deal. The truth was, the government's caveat was that I was only allowed to shop three vendors with the coupon and their cheapest boxes were $60 plus tax on the whole amount. So twenty-five dollars later I had my unit. Once I got home, I found out that this sleek little box had nearly a half dozen outputs that needed to be connected to my T.V. which, thank you very much, where almost all being utilized for things like my dvd and vhs players. I'd also suddenly discovered that I must've become catatonic at a key point during the online tutorial because -- no friggin' way -- I STILL NEEDED RABBIT EARS! Once I got everything up and sort-of running, I'm still fucking around with antennae trying to re-animate Katie Couric and get the cubes out her mouth during the CBS Evening News. Forget NBC - The Office and all that crap. I now no longer have that station or their local affiliates despite the appearance of The Magik Box and having my hands Reynolds Wrapped. I expect the typical "you shouldn't be watching that brain rot" and "go read a book" comments dear readers, and evidently I'm not really having my civil rights violated because it pretty much works, but I do feel just a little less fabulous about the transition than I thought I would.

The Married...With Children Theme Music is Wrong on Hulu

There I was just cruising Hulu to see how my dad's favorite television show holds up 15 years down the line.  Kelly is still hot, Bud is still a dick, Al is still stuck in the shoe store etc etc but THE FUCKING THEME MUSIC IS DIFFERENT!  It's supposed to be the VOCAL VERSION of "LOVE AND MARRIAGE" but now it's some goddamn terrible royalty-free bullshit MIDI instrumental impression of a song that might sound like "Love and Marriage" if you are Tiny James and had been stuck inside a Regular Size Vodka Peach for four days.

What the HELL??

FEMA B Txtn Me, OMG!!! ;)

Our nation's Emergency Alert System (EAS) was created by the FCC, FEMA, and the National Weather Service to warn the public about imminent danger in the form of important weather announcements, civil emergencies, and Presidential messages. Broadcasters are required to maintain and participate in the EAS system, airing any and all messages the feds fancy us to relay to the listening public.

Here at WFMU, we joke a lot about the EAS. In recent years, the system accidentally called for an evacuation of the entire state of Connecticut, failed to pass on any announcements whatsoever on 9/11, and warned folks along the Delaware River about a flood by requiring broadcasters in the area to announce that "A civil authority has issued a civil emergency." Though we must admit, the EAS warning for Hurricane Katrina was indeed accurate, and carried an appropriate doomsday-esque tone, the system is far from perfect, a fine example of bureaucracy getting in the way of good intentions. Hence, all of those "Unknown Event" or "Marine Sector" warning messages you hear WFMU DJs read over the air from time to time.

Ken warned us about this 2 years ago, but yesterday the feds finally approved a plan to send EAS messages to our nation's cell phones via text messages. And what's even better than getting a government-sanctioned emergency text message? The message will be delivered with its own unique ringtone! Will it be "The Imperial March"? Will it be "Carmina Burana"? How about "The Macarena"?

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for more text message spam! There are 3 types of txts that the gov't can send you:

1. Presidential messages. For example: "Dis bbq s orsum!", "w@ did Putin sA?"

2. Imminent threats. Example: "OMG Tornado, fnd Toto n run 4 covR! :("

3. Amber Alerts. Example: "12 y/o abductd, blk van, NJ pl8s"

Rest assured, you'll be able to opt out of this new EAS wonder... but good god, why deny yourself?!

Radio News You Can't Use

Indecency resurfaces at the FCC
After taking a long break from making any indecency rulings, the FCC fined ABC networks $1.4 million for broadcasting images of an actress' butt in 2003. This is a curious move, considering that the commission's indecency policies been under scrutiny by the courts. Last year, a federal appeals court decided that the FCC's ever-morphing indecency standards were too nebulous, shooting down some of their rulings on fleeting expletives. As a nice little contrast, public TV stations in the Netherlands are planning to air Deep Throat, with a green light from the country's media minister.

Meanwhile, the FCC is making enemies in the cable industry as they plot out a way to force cable providers into offering a la carte programming. On the radio side of things, Prometheus Radio will convene in Washington, D.C. on Feb. 25 and 26, hoping to convince Congress to expand LPFM.

More on the fire at KOOP
Community radio station KOOP in Austin, TX was set on fire last month, and investigators have now tied the blaze to an arsonist DJ. Paul Feinstein poured gasoline over KOOP's equipment and set the station ablaze following an incident in which the music he had selected for the station's web-only programming was changed. (Freeform or burn?) The arson charges certainly bring new meaning to Feinstein's radio program, which was called "Mellow Down Easy."

Danger for CKMS in Waterloo, Ontario
30-year-old college and community station CKMS is in danger of losing funding thanks to a referendum on the student ballot. Some students are feeling alienated from CKMS, which is the oldest campus station in Canada. Voting ends on 2/14, and the station's fate will be assessed.

As usual, the RIAA has been making inflammatory claims again...

No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

Pardon me, by "Butts" I meant "Lady Butts."

The FCC recently fined ABC affiliates a total of $1.4 million for airing images of a lady's butt on broadcast TV. This particular 2003 episode of NYPD Blue wasn't the first time a naked butt was broadcast to the American public, but it may have been the first time that a pretty lady's naked butt was shown. You can watch the 42 sec lady butt scene in question, and mull over the inherent sexuality in Charlotte Ross' posterior. Then put your brain on rewind, and drum up some images of NYPD Blue's Dennis Franz, whose naked man butt was broadcast to America nearly 14 years ago without inspiring the FCC to fine anyone. Does his butt not possess a similar sexual potential?

We're dwelling on the sexuality of butts here because the FCC's rationale for last week's belated fine was that the NYPD Blue scene in question depicted "sexual organs," namely the buttocks. Sure, lady butts could be used sexually (we recommend buying us a drink before you breach that subject, cowboy), but in this particular scene, Charlotte Ross' butt was not engaged in any sexual activity. In fact, I would characterize it as a non-sexual butt, since the FCC once made a distinction between sexual and non-sexual uses of the word fuck. Contrary to this, the FCC mysteriously maintains that Charlotte Ross' butt is sexual, despite it not being involved in any sexing. Feds, pray tell: when is a butt merely a butt?

If a non-sexual lady butt is against the rules, but a non-sexual man butt aired nearly a decade earlier is ok, what does it all mean for the cartoon butts of today?

 

Follow this link for more FCC hijinks.

Photo via

The Empire State Triangle

Hello, Everybody—Nice seeing you again.

All the NYTimes-readin’ folks probably missed the story yesterday about how cars are mysteriously dying within a 5-block radius of the Empire State Building. Richard Weir wrote in the Daily News that some10 to 15 cars get stuck every day between 7th and Lex, from about 27th to 40th. If you draw a circle around the area where this is happening, the Empire State Building is right in the middle of it. Some cars’ remote entry systems won’t open the doors, and some cars’ engines won’t start even though everything else is working. The cars get towed 4 or 5 blocks, to outside the affected area, and then the doors open and they start right up and everything works fine.

Weir quotes “automotive experts and engineers” who say it’s likely a problem with radio transmissions from all the broadcast towers on top of the Empire State Building jamming the keyless entry systems that operate on specific wavelengths assigned by the FCC. The FCC says they haven’t had any complaints about car problems around the Empire State Building. The Empire State Building people say they don’t believe there’s any problem, and refused to give Reporter Weir a list of all the broadcast antennas there.

It was January 2003 when Sluggo and I tried driving into Manhattan one night—which was already weird, we never do that--and a cop stopped us from going down 5th Ave. at 42nd Street. The street was closed, he said, because of “ice falling from the Empire State Building.” In fact, all the streets for blocks around were closed. They were blocked off for the next couple of nights, too. I’ve never heard of ice falling off the Empire State Building before or since, and certainly not for several nights in a row, and not so that streets 8 blocks away had to be shut down. We naturally figured it was some Homeland Security thing being installed on the Empire State Building, something that would shoot down planes over Brooklyn or Queens before they could hit Manhattan. And how great is it that it turns out to be not a gun at all, but a giant transmitter that’ll make it impossible to open the airplane doors until they’re towed to, like, New Jersey.

Thanks for reading my blog post this time, and may God bless.

Radio News You Can't Use

FCC Happenings
Just a week before Christmas, Kevin Martin and the FCC voted to relax media ownership rules, allowing cross-ownership of a newspaper and TV station in the country's top 20 markets. Naturally, this controversial decision inspired a backlash from a wide swath of groups concerned about homogenization and dwindling local news coverage, as well as the lack of women and minority-owned media outlets. The decision also upset plenty of folks in Congress, and the House is now formally investigating the FCC's practices. Be sure to read Bronwyn's take on the new FCC rules!

Meanwhile, the commission is investigating Comcast, the largest cable provider in the U.S., for allegedly blocking customer access to file-sharing services like bit torrent.

RIAA and Digital Music
The Washington Post was recently on the receiving end of the RIAA's wrath after publishing an article that made a claim that the recording industry considered ripping CDs to a computer a criminal act. The paper has since apologized for apparently misrepresenting the RIAA's views. In other music industry news, it turns out that overall music sales were up 14% in 2007, but album sales continued to decline. Let's hope that this means less whining from the RIAA and record labels in '08. Last month Radiohead ended their pay-what-you-will experiment, halting the digital offering of their latest album In Rainbows.

Other Items of Radio Interest
- Studios at Austin community radio station KOOP were severely damaged due to arson. This is the third fire the station has suffered in 2 years.
- Free speech battle for radio in Hong Kong.
- Check out Mike Lupica's rap on Edwin Armstrong.
- Pick up a few old time radio recommendations from Listener Kliph.

Good News from the FCC

Hello, Everybody—Nice Seeing You Again.

The Federal Communications Commission recently announced a new ruling that will allow cross-ownership of both a newspaper and a radio station in the same top-20 market, because obviously there are no more conflicts of interest now that there’s no more free speech. This is good news for us, because now WFMU can buy the New York Times (aka the Big Grey Pack o’ Lies) and fix it. As far as I know, the Times is the only newspaper ever to inspire an almost-monthly magazine (“Lies of Our Times”) just to correct its blatant inaccuracies and distortions, although that was before the Times decided to run their own 2-page mea culpas for everything they print. (My favorite correction was the one where they apologized for misidentifying Mickey Mouse as Minnie Mouse .) I figure we’ll put DJ Kenny G in charge of plagiarism, and Program Director Brian will edit the Style section (I’ve read some of his fashion reports and they are really scary), and DJ Mr. Billy Jam can write the Home and Gardening stuff because I think he must know a lot about hydroponics and growing things indoors under lights. Station Manager Ken can be in charge of the Sports section and write all about water skiing, and we’ll start a new section called “Chimps of the Times” that DJ Dave the Spazz will edit. I’ll handle Obituaries and the Book Review, of course, and soon everybody will be reading “Ulrich Haarburste’s Novel of Roy Orbison in Clingfilm.” This is going to be a really, really good thing, and the only way it could be better would be if we pay for it with Ron Paul dollars
—the second-most popular currency in the United States!

Thanks for reading my blog post this time, and may God Bless.

Radio News You Can't Use

FCC Happenings
Lots of activity at the FCC this month: the commission voted to expand LPFM, providing new opportunities for community radio groups in the U.S., on top of the NCE spectrum that opened up in October. Read more about LPFM here. On the other side of the coin, however, Commission Chairman Kevin Martin caught heat for attempting to push for a vote on his new plan for increased media consolidation and expanding regulation of cable TV.

Internet Radio Royalties Still Unresolved
An appeals court in Washington, D.C. recently announced a timetable for internet radio groups to appeal the controversial webcasting rates set by the Copyright Royalty Board and SoundExchange earlier this year. Court proceedings are likely to extend into 2009, giving all parties a few months to breathe until the whole ugly rate negotiation process starts over again in 2010 (when the current rates expire). Some of the largest webcasters (including Yahoo and AOL) may cease their streaming operations because the recent rise in royalties is still too high.

Hating on the RIAA
As Doron pointed out recently, under its new management, EMI may stop paying fees to the RIAA. This could be the smartest PR move by one of the Big 4 labels in quite a while! Meanwhile, the University of Oregon is biting back at the RIAA for illegally gathering information about students. Copyright reform in Canada may impose draconian DMCA-like limitations on digital media.

Other Headlines
- Arbitron's Portable People Meter is causing some heads to roll in the NYC radio market.
- Freeform radio great Jim Hawthorne passed away 11/7/07.

LPFM and the Fight for Community Radio

Ever since the Telecommunications Act of 1996 was passed, the FCC has been required to periodically review the country's broadcast ownership rules. For those who may not know, the 1996 Act was responsible for widespread media consolidation: as ownership regs were loosened, companies like Clear Channel and Infinity Broadcasting were allowed to purchase many more stations across the country (and were also allowed to own more than two stations in a single market). Most recently, the FCC's 2006-07 review of the media ownership landscape has been met with unprecedented outcry; citizens are not happy about the homogenization of their airwaves, and are serving the feds with tons of public testimony and mounds of comments, urging them to steer clear of further ownership deregulation.

Localism, dull/homogeneous programming, and concerns about the lack of station ownership by women and minorities appear to be at the crux the public's beef with broadcast radio and TV. These sentiments were reflected during the FCC's town hall meeting on media consolidation in NYC last year which I attended, and you can read the wrap-up on this post (as well as listen to the whole damned thing).

It would seem as though the teeming masses who are upset with the current state of radio are simply asking for more community-based broadcasters. There is space reserved for community radio on the low end of the dial, but in many areas, religious conglomerates and NPR affiliates outbid local community groups for non-commercial, educational spectrum. So now, even non-commercial frequencies are sounding more and more alike across the U.S. No wonder the people are angry.

How do we solve the larger, interrelated problems of media consolidation and crappy programming? How do we allow more voices to be heard on the non-commercial end of the dial, especially those who don't have the resources to purchase and manage a full-powered FM station? A loaded answer would be LPFM.

Radio News You Can't Use

LPFM, Media Consolidation, and Satellite Merger
A bill allowing for more LPFM licensees in the U.S. is headed for a full Senate vote soon. Current laws limit the numbers of low power FM stations allowed in an area to prevent interference with full-powered FM stations. While more LPFM stations will undoubtedly offer greater programming options to listeners, I can't help but wonder why community radio is being forced to inhabit the outer fringes of the public's spectrum. I suppose something is better than nothing.

After all the public hearings, outcry, and lobby dollars hard at work, the FCC finally decided vote on whether or not to relax media ownership rules. And then Congress got angry, telling the FCC that it was far too soon to make up their minds about the issue. Stay tuned...

As the satellite radio companies attempt to merge, costs and legal fees soar through the roof. Mel Karmazin admits to spending $1 million in photo-copying alone.

Digital Music News
This past month, Radiohead released the digital version of their latest album on a pay-what-you-will basis, prompting many philosophical discussions on the music industry's demise. Some Radiohead fans are now angry about the downloads being encoded at a "low" bit rate (160 kbps), even though most of these folks probably couldn't tell the difference between 160 and 320 kbps on their crappy computer speakers anyway.

Jammie Thomas, the woman who recently lost a court battle with the RIAA over file-sharing, is trying to raise funds to help pay the $220,000 she now owes the recording industry (or perhaps to pay her lawyer for an impending appeal). What better way to accomplish this than by hawking thong underwear emblazoned with a "Free Jammie" logo? (hey, it worked for Bronwyn!)

FCC Restrictions Expanded to include WFMU's Bathroom

Radio News You Can't Use

Indecency Goes to Supreme Court
Tons of activity on the indecency front lately. Earlier this year, the 2nd Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals slapped the FCC's wrist for their unclear broadcast indecency guidelines, and for applying those rules in an erratic manner when they suddenly took an about face on the issue of fleeting expletives. The FCC has appealed this decision to the Supreme Court, and because the commission's guidelines are so shaky, I can't see how any rational judge would not uphold the 2nd Circuit's decision. Then again, the Supremes recently put the smack down on Bong Hits 4 Jesus... Predictably, there has been a backlash to the 2nd Circuit's decision in Congress. The House recently introduced the "Protecting Children from Indecent Programming Act." Meanwhile, the 3rd Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals is examining the 2004 Superbowl halftime fiasco (aka nipplegate); CBS is challenging the FCC's $550,000 fine. In the radio sector, Pacifica stations chose not to air a recording of Allen Ginsburg reading his landmark poem Howl, in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the day a court ruled that the poem was not obscene. Fearing FCC indecency fines, the historic recording was webcast instead.

Performance Royalty Updates
Lately, the webcasting royalty negotiations have gone stale, with hardly even a rumor suggesting that any deals are close to being made for non-commercial webcasters. Meanwhile, there is talk of a performance royalty bill for broadcasters, and it could hit the Senate floor as soon as this month. For more on the recent discourse surrounding performance royalties, check out RAIN's coverage of the FMC Policy Summit, which I attended last month.

RIAA in Court
The RIAA's first filesharing trial hit a Minnesota courtroom this week, wherein a 30-year-old mother of two was accused by the RIAA (and 7 member record labels) of illegally distributing songs on the Kazaa filesharing network in 2005. The defendant was found guilty of copyright infringement, and must now pay $9,250 for each song that she made available via p2p ($222,000 total). You can read a play-by-play of how the trial went down right here. This woman clearly should have settled before she wasted money on a bad lawyer (who actually suggested to a jury of rational adults that his client was "victim of a zombie, a cracker, or a drone") who allowed her case to go to trial. An interesting side note: during the court proceedings, the RIAA admitted that its campaign against illegal downloading is costing them millions of dollars that are not recuperated by settlements.

Future of Music Coalition Policy Summit

The Future of Music Coalition is holding their annual Policy Summit at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. next week, as I mentioned previously. Not only will this be an amazing confluence of record labels, radio stations, webcasters, policymakers, academics, lawyers, and trade groups, but now a bunch of cool musicians are slated to speak as well (see the full list of panelists here).

Lady Miss Kier of Deee-lite will discuss sampling, Charles from the Wrens will tackle broadband policy/net neutrality, Franz from the Hold Steady will talk about the state of music retail, Jon and Nick from the Spinto Band are rounding up the DIY Music Licensing Panel, while Mac McCaughan from Merge/Superchunk and Bob Mould will chime in during FMC's State of the Union panel, kicking off the event on Monday, 9/17.

Peter Alyea from the Library of Congress is also on board to discuss a new toy called IRENE, a laser beam that scans the surface of old records, digitally mapping out the audio (and simultaneously editing out dust and scratches), without ever using a needle.

For a full schedule of panels and sessions, visit this page. Registration info here.

Nipplegate Court Appeal Begins

Just a few months after an appeals court in New York deemed the FCC's indecency standards "arbitrary and capricious,"  broadcast indecency issues are receiving even more judicial attention. CBS has appealed the $550,000 fine dealt by the FCC in response to Janet Jackson's infamous wardrobe malfunction, and court proceedings begin today. While it is difficult to predict how the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia will interpret 19/32 of a second of nipple exposure, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that their examination will expose the FCC's indecency guidelines for what they are: irrational and unintelligible.

Radio News You Can't Use

Webcasting Royalty "Deals"
A few major agreements concerning webcasting royalties were inked over the past few weeks, locking large and small commercial webcasters into (sort of) new SoundExchange-sanctioned rate schemes.

Large commercial webcasters convinced SoundExchange to cap the maximum amount they could collect from per-channel fees. Companies like Pandora and Live365 would have been financially devastated if forced to pay $500 apiece for each of their thousands of separate webstreams. Now, instead of owing millions of dollars in baseline fees, larger webcasters will pay a maximum of $50,000. The situation is far from rosy, however. Large webcasters still do not get a break on the newly increased per-song-per-listener royalties, which must be paid on top of per-channel fees. These webcasters have also agreed to comply with SoundExchange's demanding reporting requirements, and will present the collection agency with 24-7-365 song information for each stream they host. Although SoundExchange has pressed the importance of these reporting requirements, they have not provided a realistic and easy method for webcasters to do so.

Small commercial webcasters were also dealt very limited relief from the new webcasting rates that went into effect on July 15. Webcasters who meet certain revenue limits (less than $1.25 million annually) will be allowed to pay royalties based on a percentage of revenue instead of exorbitant per-song-per-listener rates. This "deal," however, is only good for music that is owned by SoundExchange members. Small webcasters still must pay the higher per-song-per-listener fees for playing music by non-SoundExchange members, and the whole deal is null and void if their listenership exceeds certain limits set by SoundExchange. Doesn't sound like much of a compromise to me, but unfortunately, this may be all that small commercial webcasters are offered. Because SoundExchange has been so public about their "offers" and "good faith negotiations," Congress has all but abandoned the Internet Radio Equality Act.

No news on the continuing negotiations for non-commercial webcasting rates: as it stands, non-commercial webcasters like WFMU can pay a lower royalty fee, but must keep listening numbers below a SoundExchange-determined threshold. We hope that the negotiating parties agree to eliminate these listening limits for all non-commercial educational webcasters.

High Brow / High Concept Activities

As the dreaded end of summer approaches, NYC's glorious free outdoor shows begin to dry up, and we settle back into crummy weather/indoor activity mode. Use these final few weeks of summer to take one last carefree frolic on the beach, then check out some of these pre-fall happenings. Get out of the house now, before your Netflix turnaround becomes faster than an excursion from the sofa to your fridge.

High Brow Enrichment
Future of Music Coalition Policy Summit - Anyone interested in the ways music, technology, i.p. law, and policy simultaneously grind and slamdance together should head out to Washington, D.C. on Sept. 17-18. Hot button music industry issues like net neutrality, sampling, royalties, payola, social media, and the digital revolution will be discussed by panels of experts, regulators, and musicians (full schedule here). It's bound to be an interesting conference, but don't take it from me, I'm a geek when it comes to this stuff. Take it from someone much cooler: Ted Leo (MP3).

High Concept Outings
Rocks Off Boat Cruise - Rock concerts on a boat. Simple. Genius. With a seafaring schedule that includes Lee "Scratch" Perry, Kid Koala, Holly Golightly, Bit Shifter, and a Pink Floyd tribute band, what's not to love? I'm personally a fan of their unicorn-dolphin-rainbow logo and impeccable customer service (one show in particular is "SOLD THE FUCK OUT, BITCHES - Get your tix sooner next time").

Pickin' Pockets at the Atlantic Antic - Though it technically lies within the fall season, I'm still including Brooklyn's best street fair with my list of late summer activities, because hey, it's outdoors. Check it out on Sept. 30 from 10am-6pm, and be sure to swing by the WFMU table and allow us to shower you with public displays of freeform affection. Pony rides! Tube socks! Greasy sausage sandwiches!

Scavenger Hunt in Brooklyn, afterparty with free booze and Dan Deacon - Instead of dropping $300 to pass out from heatstroke and hallucinogen-induced constipation at Burning Man, spend Sunday, Sept. 2 (date has been postponed until sometime in Oct) searching the city for arcane objects and sites, as you compete for prizes with teams of other wired adventurers. Or just hang out for a few hours, then drink it up and snap your glowsticks to the happy, glitched-out sounds of Baltimore's Dan Deacon. More details and ticket info here.