WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Radio News You Can't Use

Webcasting Royalty Drama Continues
Like the backstabbing villain in a bad soap opera, sneaky SoundExchange has continued offering deceptive, unhelpful, so-called concessions to webcasters after new webcasting royalty rates went into effect on July 15. As a prime example, the latest "deal" offered to webcasters contains a wee little clause requiring DRM on all streams (since when did a technological mandate have anything to do with royalties?). Thankfully, the National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) is fed up with these dead-end negotiations, and is now focusing their substantial lobby power on passing the Internet Radio Equality Act. Some groups of indie musicians are opting out of the SoundExchange royalty scheme altogether, recognizing the value of the exposure they get on internet radio.

Meanwhile, Clear Channel and Last.fm have been requiring indie artists to waive their royalties as a condition for netplay. Artist advocacy groups FMC and A2IM were angered and eventually pressured Clear Channel to ditch their waiver. It's easy accuse Clear Channel of screwing indie artists (newsflash: they always have), but think about why these huge webcasters are now requiring waivers. It's the new webcasting rates, people! They are simply too high. I would be totally surprised if Clear Channel hasn't negotiated separate cut-rate webcasting agreements with the big 4 labels already.

Music Industry Gangsters Shake Down Broadcasters Next
Collecting ridiculous fees from webcasters isn't the record industry's only desperate solution to create "alternative streams of revenue" in these times of dwindling CD sales. The next victim in their royalty shakedown is broadcast radio. SoundExchange and the RIAA are both copping a new mantra, that airplay (or webplay) is not an effective promotional tool. Because nobody, and I mean nobody, ever ever purchases CDs, MP3s, or ringtones of songs they heard on the radio. Ever. As such, the RIAA claims (via a front called the Music First Coalition) that broadcasters should have to pay an additional performance royalty. The Music First Coalition believes so wholeheartedly that "corportate radio" is at fault for the decline in record sales that they went out of their way to fabricate a research study that claims so. Interestingly, this study has not motivated Music First Coalition members to discontinue servicing music to radio stations. This will likely turn into a battle of the lobbyists: RIAA vs. NAB. Unless, of course, someone bothers to brief our commander in chief. As an aside, foreign compadres of the RIAA have taken some cues from the good ol' US of A, and now Australian night clubs as well as Canadian dentists and hair salons are in danger of owing big, expensive royalties (thanks to Listener David for the links).

FCC Deals Out Obscene Call Letters
The blissfully ignorant owner of a TV broadcasting company with stations in Hawaii and Arizona requested and was awarded with two golden sets of call letters by the FCC: KUNT and KWTF. They're changing KUNT to something else (insert KTIT, KTWT, KDIK etc joke here). Damn.
 

"Shaking Hands With Teddy Roosevelt? Say, Got Any Penicillin For That?"

It seems that the second the 'talking machine' appeared in Victorian America circa 1877, Tom Edison and his cronies were already yelling "mad dog" to play it backwards to hear it playback as "goddamn". Now, the Archeophone label has just issued Actionable Offenses, a full CD with comprehensive notes on a slew of turn-of-the-century scarce-as-wooden-condom indecent recordings. Standup equivalents to Dice with a monacle? Well, not quite, but for the most part these recordings are somewhat parallels to bawdy tales one's barkeep might unfurl amidst his patrons, and with the phonograph-listening going from becoming a public event to a private one (as people began to afford buying equipment and cylinders) the creeping in of contraband listening material escalated. This was especially noted by Anthony Comstock, founder of the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice (whose split logo depicted a guy being hauled into the can, and an erudite, tophatted fellow tossing books into a bonfire); and with boosting from churches and the YMCA influenced Congress to pass some heavy laws. While owning indecent materials was OK, the distribution of them in any form was not, and a broad sweep of many sources of these blue recordings netted over 3,000 arrests and, well, lots of bonfires. Seems that the preservation of 'social order' could outweigh free speech (sounds familiar). One of the bustees, theater stage manager Russell Hunting, initially became interested in the phonograph to augment stage sound effects, but quickly started creating some vignettes, including "Did He Charge Too Much" and others included on the compilation. The label site has some Real Audio links as well, including "Learning a City Gal How To Milk", "The Tapeworm Story", and "Sim Hadley On a Racket". Transfers, by the way, were done by WFMU's own Jerry Fabris, host of Thomas Edison's Attic, and archivist for Edison's treasure trove of recordings where these smutty soirees were sourced from.

Radio News You Can't Use

Webcasting D-Day Approacheth
If you've had your ear to the web stream these past few months, you know that a serious threat to internet radio has cropped up. This March, the U.S. Copyright Royalty Board (CRB) and SoundExchange came up with an unfair new royalty scheme for webcasters. These new rates are so enormous that many webcasters large and small, commercial and non-commercial, would have to pay royalty sums that surpass their entire annual revenues. SoundExchange and the CRB do not seem to view this as problematic to the industry, and have yet to offer a reasonable compromise to webcasters (though they have offered many unreasonable PR-driven "concessions").

The new rates are set to go into effect on July 15, and unless NPR's request for a stay is honored by the U.S. Court of Appeals, many internet radio stations may go out of business very soon. In fact, thousands of stations participated in a national day of protest against the new webcasting rates by going silent on 6/26. This prompted 350,000 listeners to put in calls of concern to their congressional representatives. WFMU chose to boycott all RIAA-registered music that day, and I've explained our position on the matter here.

There are bills in both the House and Senate for the Internet Radio Equality Act, which set a revenue-based royalty rate instead of the per-song per-listener model favored by the CRB and SoundExchange. Although the House Committee on Small Business led a discussion about the new webcasting rates last week (you can view the entire hearing here), many Congresspeople did not appear interested in intervening. Nevertheless, it may come down to Congressional action and legislation if SoundExchange doesn't negotiate a rational rate scheme before July 15. WFMU is encouraging listeners to call or write to their representatives in support of the Internet Radio Equality Act. You can get more information at savenetradio.org or by reading this recent L.A. Times debate between a webcaster and a SoundExchange rep.

Radio News You Can't Use

Court Calls FCC Indecency Regulation 'Arbitrary and Capricious'
This week, the 2nd Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals called out the FCC for their ever-morphing indecency standards. For the past few years, the FCC has flip-flopped on whether broadcasting accidental profanities on TV and radio should be deemed indecent. Historically, fleeting expletives had not been subject to federal fines, but in 2003 the FCC changed its mind, reversing their earlier decision on Bono's comments during a live awards ceremony, and sending broadcasters into a state of utter confusion. Fox took the FCC to Federal Appeals Court back in January, and thankfully, 2 out of 3 judges view the FCC's inconsistent indecency rules in danger of violating the First Amendment. The FCC can either reconsider its rulings on Bono, Cher, and Nicole Richie, or they can appeal the 2nd Circuit's decision to the Supreme Court. If the FCC opts for taking it to the Supremes, this case will shed a lot of light on whether the highest court in our country is populated by reasonable individuals committed to protecting the constitution, or politically-influenced pawns.

UPDATE (6/6/07): FCC Chairman Kevin Martin responds to the court ruling with an expletive-laden statement! Stick that on your public record! O, sweet justice, viva la First Amendment!

SoundExchange's Dirty Dealings
The battle between webcasters and SoundExchange (webcasting royalty collectors) is still raging over royalties. Earlier this year, the Copyright Royalty Board approved a hike in webcasting royalty fees so large that the increase would put many online stations out of business. An enormous backlash erupted from webcasters large and small, commercial and non-commercial, backed by the Save Net Radio campaign. NPR asked the CRB to provide an exception to the rates for non-commercial stations with large online audiences, but this was denied. Congress eventually caught wind of the storm, and wrote up a few bills to nix the CRB's rates, but no further progress has been made. In a surprise move, the CRB pushed the inception of their new rate scheme forward a few months, but as July 15 creeps up, few negotiations have taken place between webcasters and SoundExchange.

The few settlement offers that SoundExchange did offer up to webcasters are, unfortunately, useless to the vast majority of stations that will be affected by the rate hike. I imagine that Congress pressured SoundExchange to work something out, and in return SE wrote up a few PR-driven "deals" to get the Reps and Senators off their asses. Here are the details of SE's bum deals:

1. Small webcasters running on less than $250k/yr will pay 10% of their revenue to SoundExchange, and those with revenue up to $1.25 million will have to pay 12%. Any station with a budget over $1.25 million will be charged as per the CRB's new rate scheme. This sounds like a good deal, until you consider the fact that satellite radio companies XM and Sirius pay the highest royalties out of anybody, and their rate is only 7.5% of annual revenue. And 12% is supposed to be a "deal" for fledgling businesses? Here's the story.

2. SoundExchange offered a "private agreement" to a few NPR-affiliated non-commercial webcasters. They'll be charged a low royalty rate, provided that they don't have a large listenership. If they have more than 200 simultaneous listeners on their stream, the fees increase significantly. Trouble is, if your station wasn't part of the "private agreement", this "deal" doesn't apply.

In the meantime, NPR has filed a court request for an emergency stay on the CRB's new rates. Let's hope that SE comes up with a reasonable compromise for small webcasters and non-commercial stations soon...

Radio News You Can't Use

Webcasting Royalty Battle Continues
Fierce opposition to the Copyright Royalty Board's controversial new rates for webcasting royalties has prompted the board to push their due date for payments forward from May 15 to July 15. Additional time for negotiations is a fantastic plan, provided that negotiating actually happens between the CRB, Sound Exchange, and webcasters. After attending the Future of Music Coalition's Technology and IP Policy Day yesterday and witnessing a board member of Sound Exchange claim that webcasting has no promotional value for artists, it is clear to me that fundamental differences in opinion (some may say reality) might derail any hope for progress. The CEO of Live 365 pleaded with Sound Exchange to return his phone calls, if that gives you any idea of how the discourse has derailed. Let's hope that everyone's lawyers play nice, otherwise companies like Pandora will disappear and non-commercial webcasters will be forced to remain tiny, lest they wish to be charged the same rates as commercial webcasters.

FCC Update
This month, the FCC finally released its highly anticipated report on TV violence (click here for the full report, PDF), which concludes that the commission should regulate violence on TV and provides evidence that violent programming is harmful to children. They use this as a justification to call for a-la-carte cable TV packages, something that the cable lobby is not happy about. Others are concerned that the FCC can't possibly come up with a good definition of what is "too violent" and what isn't, provided their notoriously unclear policies concerning indecency. The commission didn't even bother to come up with a definition of violence in their report, but asserted that they could definitely regulate it, whatever it is.

The FCC also headed to Tampa, FL, this month for another public hearing regarding media ownership. This meeting and similar hearings in other cities have demonstrated that the public is concerned about a lack of diversity, localism, and quality of their news and entertainment sources. The feds are reexamining the ownership rules that prevent one company from owning too many stations and/or newspapers in a given market, but with so many voices against consolidation on the record, Chairman Kevin Martin may find it difficult to justify any further loosening of the law.

Radio News You Can't Use

Apply for a Non-Commercial Radio License
Attention community groups, educational institutions, and radio geeks: the FCC will be opening a license application window for non-commercial educational (NCE) radio stations this October. If your non-profit group has been considering applying for a radio license, then hop to it before some religious megacaster snags spectrum in your neighborhood. This an extremely rare opportunity: the FCC has not opened up a filing window like this since 2000, and probably won't do it again for a very long time. Even though the application deadline is in October, you'll need to get a jump-start in the next few months. Groups like Common Frequency and Radio For People are offering assistance to organizations interested in applying for NCE licenses, and there's even a step-by-step guide to the application process right here. Save your town from sucky radio!

UPDATE 4/4/07-- The application window was officially announced: October 12 - 19, 2007.

Payola, Vegetable, and Satellite Threats at the FCC
The FCC and A2IM (American Association of Independent Music) recently struck a deal with the country's four major commercial broadcast conglomerates over payola. The companies each agreed to pay a fine, and have committed to airing indie music (and it won't be in the middle of the night).

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin still asserts that the FCC would block a merger of XM and Sirius, even though doing so might cause both satellite companies to tank, possibly putting Mojo Nixon out of work.

Meanwhile, Commissioner Tate is seeking equal TV ad time for the systematically oppressed fruit and veggie population. She thinks that junk food ads are making kids fat. Naturally, the only way to fight ads is with more ads. Or parents could stop feeding crap to their kids. But ads are more fun.

The feds are also making some progress on their backlog of non-commercial radio filings, finally making some decisions on applications that were submitted back in the '90s. Keep on truckin', FCC!

Net Neutrality Battle Wages On
A group of independent music fans and musicians are sounding off to Congress, urging them to maintain the internet as a level playing field for us little guys. You can read up on the Future of Music Coalition's Rock the Net campaign right here, and sign their petition here.

In broadband access news, a company called M2Z has made a tempting proposal to the FCC: give us some spectrum, and we'll offer free wireless broadband access to 95% of the U.S. within 10 years. The catch? M2Z's version of the internet will contain a compulsory "family-friendly" filter, which would essentially deliver a censored version of the internet (hello, China?) to the majority of U.S. households. M2Z's definition of "indecent" or "obscene" web content is even more nebulous than the FCC's, so who's to tell whether a site like Beware of the Blog would be blocked due to the occassional vibrator-friendly post or history of 'fuck'? And how will M2Z make money? Copious ads? Offering a premium tiered internet for those who can afford it? You betcha! This is all sounding very anti-net neutrality, isn't it? If you speak nerd, then head over to Slashdot, where people who understand more about broadband spectrum allocation than I do have raised a number of technical issues with M2Z's proposal, as well.

I'm worried that this deal is going to sound too sexy for the FCC to pass on. The commission has received a ton of flack for the U.S. being light-years behind most developed nations in the area of broadband access, and thus far they have no solid plans for improvement. Plus, M2Z cleverly sucks up by quoting members of the FCC and Congress on practically every page on their site!

Lullabies Blacklisted by the Bush Administration.

Jon Birge of the New York based Valley Entertainment, says that his company has been listed as one of the companies the Bush administration no longer wants to cooperate with: link. The reason; Birge's company is the US distributor of Lullabies From The Axis Of Evil, a Norwegian CD in which women from Iran, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, North-Korea and Cuba sing lullabies in duet with western artists.

"Lullabies From The Axis Of Evil" produced in 2004 by "Kirkelig Kulturverksted" includes artists such as Nina Hagen, Rickie Lee Jones, Lila Downs, Rim Banna, Annisette, Eva Dahlgren and Kari Bremnes. The CD has sold 10,000 copies in US since the release, and it's received nice reviews in both The Washington Post and The Independent.

MP3's from the CD (192kbps) from the Valley Entertainment web-site:
Lalolalo - Don't you worry my child Kulsoom Syed Ghulam, Afghanistan / Lila Downs, Mexico/USA (MP3)
Peace song Halla Bassam, Iraq / Sevara Nazarkhan, Uzbekistan (MP3)
Stars are rising Sun Ju Lee, North Korea / Eddi Reader, Scotland (MP3)

Ref: Norwegian Broadcasting Corp + Vårt Land

Update March 3rd: Producer, Erik Hillestad's statement in English (link)

Radio News You Can't Use

WFMU Marathon
First and foremost, I would like to gently remind you that WFMU's annual fundraising Marathon begins on March 5th and runs through the 18th. Whether or not you listen to WFMU's air signal or webstream, the very fact that you are now reading this demonstrates that you enjoy at least part of what we do. And what we do can't be done without your support (I dare you to try and find the ads and popup windows on this page... well? exactly), so make a pledge to keep us around, will ya?

Satellite Radio Merger
Not long after the FCC's chairman said that he would block such an attempt, satellite radio companies Sirius and XM have announced plans to merge. Presently, Congress is investigating whether a merger would be beneficial to consumers or violate antitrust laws. If the two companies do merge, we can start campaigning for satellite programming dream-teams. After all, Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg were meant to be on the radio together, am I right?

Regulated Violence?
The FCC may soon have yet another bullet with which to shoot themselves in the foot. Leaked information indicates that they're trying to build a case to regulate violence on TV. Fortunately, they'd also like to force cable providers into offering a-la-carte channels, and the cable industry sure as hell doesn't want that to happen. Their lobby dollars (or the FCC's pending appeals court indecency cases) will most likely nix both of the commission's lofty plans.

Media Ownership Tribulations Continue
The FCC held another media ownership hearing in Harrisburg, PA. A town-hall style meeting on media ownership will be hosted by 3 commissioners next week in Columbus, OH.

Violins on Television

Well folks, another uneventful Super Bowl halftime show has passed us by, and not even the Parents Television Council had the strength to imagineer lewd messages from Prince's sultry guitar-as-an-extension-of-the-penis shadow dance. But alas, federally-regulated indecency hasn't disappeared from the headlines.

As if the FCC's hands weren't full enough: they've got a huge backlog of pending indecency complaints and a continuing federal appeals case that could nix their current policy on fleeting profanity. It appears that they'd also like to rope cable into their anti-indecency regime, force a-la-carte programming packages on the cable industry, and also regulate violence on television.

Someone on the inside leaked information to the Associated Press concerning a draft FCC report that examines the effects of violent programming on children and presents an argument for regulating cable. The study, which has yet to be released, suggests that the FCC is capable of regulating violence on TV in a way that would not interfere with the First Amendment. Riiiight. No gray area there. The commission will likely recommend that Congress expand their power to censor TV content beyond obscene and indecent material.

While I'd much rather live in a country that regulated violence on TV rather than indecency, I'm pushing for none of the above. Seriously, look who's going to carry out this task. I have zero faith that the FCC won't bungle violence complaints in the same way that they've blurred the line with indecency. And I believe that the consequences (watered-down news and documentaries) outweigh the benefits (added help for parents who can't figure out how to turn off the TV when they encounter something inappropriate for their children).

The FCC's recommendations to Congress have yet to be seen, but I'm guessing that the cable lobby is going to campaign heavily against this.

365 Days #42 - Peter Gault and Amy Rachelle - A Psycho-Sexual Incantation (mp3s)

MP3:
1 Peter Gault and Amy Rachelle - Cosmic Vagina (1:10)
2 Peter Gault and Amy Rachelle - Constipation (1:31)

A DJ should never give away his trade secrets but, friends, for this one time, I am giving to you something I have played for years on WFMU's Anal Magic: the famous "I'm From Vagina" rant. You can thank the FCC for this gift. After Nipplegate, we were forced to yank anything dealing with sexual and excretory body parts and their respective functions, sexual or non-sexual. Hence, I was banned from playing this lovely ditty. In the same fell swoop, the FCC forced me to change the name of my show, then known as Anal Magic. It's now known as Intelligent Design. Thank you Michael Powell.

That said, these two over-the-top rants come from an erotica disc called "A Psycho-Sexual Incantation," which is an adaptation of Gault's novel "Knucklehead." The disc also doubles as a soundtrack for a performance art stage show.

I played this recently at a lecture I gave on music that can't be aired on the radio in the United States at last year's Third Coast Radio Festival in Chicago. After the lecture, a Canadian radio producer came rushing up to me to tell me that "I'm From Vagina" is really an allusion to "I'm From Regina", the Canadian province. Go figure.

- Contributed by: Kenny G (WFMU/UbuWeb)

Media: CD
Album: A Psycho-Sexual Incantation

Radio News You Can't Use

Perform Act Back
The feds have reintroduced an ugly piece of legislation that could put an end to MP3 streaming, under the guise of "preventing piracy." Read about Diane Feinstein's Perform Act (S.256), and be sure to shoot off a letter to your senators, letting them know that this technology mandate could severely hamper your right to enjoy open-source online radio, and for no good reason. Even though the RIAA and other music publishing companies that stand behind this bill still think that digital music is evil and that pirates are cutting into profits by recording webcasts (!?), music sales were up in 2006, largely due to digital sales. Major labels like Sony are now joining the army of progress by licensing podsafe music tracks for Ford and Chrysler, while others may adopt the DRM-free MP3 format for their digital music offerings.

Media Ownership Update
When we last left off, the FCC had just released a glut of previously-suppressed media ownership studies to the public, and pledged to investigate who was responsible for hiding the 2003 reports, which provided damning evidence against consolidation. Five months later, investigators appear to have done little work on the case. This AP article contains an interview with one of the reports' co-authors, and takes a critical look at how big media lobbyists may have influenced the FCC's dismissal of the ownership studies.

The big-wig who likely shelved these studies is former Media Bureau Chief, republican W. Kenneth Ferree, who resigned from his post shortly after FCC Chairman Michael Powell stepped down in 2005. Just two months after leaving the FCC, Ferree became second-banana on the CPB board (Executive Vice President and COO), and moved up to Interim President a month later when the CPB's Chief Executive at the time mysteriously resigned during a late-night meeting.

But republicans aren't the only ones up to no good in this media ownership storm. During a recent FCC appearance in front of the Senate Commerce Committee, leading democrats lashed out at commissioners, calling for an end to the "junk, sex, and scandals" rampant on television. Blaming media consolidation for bad programming, dems want the FCC to better police the airwaves and require certain "content requirements" for programming. Smells like censorship to me...

Fox TV's Slip of the Lens

Could Fox TV be in for the FCC's first $325,000 language fine? Yes, if the Parent's Television Council has its way. During the coverage of an NFL playoff game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New Orleans Saints, a camera lens came to rest on a fan with a "Fuck Da Eagles" T-shirt, and the PTC is up in arms: youtube link of the Fox shot.

As PTC put it on a urgent action call to its members, "Fox deliberately displays the 'f-word' during prime time football game." A crowd shot lingered for about five seconds on a female football fan wearing a t-shirt that said "F*** DA EAGLES." PTC said, "There can be no doubt that this was an intentional airing of patently offensive language on the public airwaves, as the person wearing the profane t-shirt was culled by Fox Network's broadcast crew from more than 70,000 spectators in the stadium. The camera operator selected that particular woman and the director and/or producers of the event made an affirmative and conscious decision to air the shot from that particular camera, forcing the f-word into millions of homes. Furthermore, the v-chip would not and could not have protected children and families from the type of content evidenced here." Fox apologized, saying, "The shot was inadvertent and unintentional and we apologize."

via RBR

Radio News You Can't Use

FCC in hot water over indecency and media ownership
A federal appeals court is examining the FCC's wacky policies on televised instances of fleeting profanity, read the story here and don't miss the video of this filthy court hearing. The judges present at the hearing appeared unwilling to buy the commission's BS, so I'm keeping a candle lit for free speech. In the meantime, at least one TV network has followed in WFMU's footsteps by offering web-only content (click here to watch the SNL sketch "Dick in a Box" on You Tube) that is artistically unrestricted by whatever the FCC might fancy to label as indecent.

On the media ownership front, the FCC recently held a public forum in Nashville where many artists and regular joes voiced their concerns regarding consolidation. The feds have received an outpouring of public comments regarding the possible relaxation of media ownership rules, and considering the slew of ownership studies that were just made public (including some of the previously-suppressed FCC studies demonstrating the problems associated with consolidation that were uncovered by Senator Boxer earlier this year, and a new study put together by the Future of Music Coalition highlighting many of the same key issues), it will be mighty difficult for the commission's republicans to justify extending consolidation rules.

Satellite Radio merger in the works?
Both Sirius and XM have been pumping some serious dough into marketing and the hiring of high profile hosts like Oprah, Martha, and Howard. This spending is outweighing revenue, and Sirius is interested in merging with XM, since both companies have similar expenses (plus, an independent research firm found that consumers can't tell the difference between the two satellite radio beasts anyway). A merger might trigger anti-trust alarms with the feds. But then again...

FCC approves most extensive phone company merger in history
The largest telecom company in the U.S. (AT&T) just purchased the nation's third largest company (BellSouth) with FCC approval. AT&T will now control 1/3 of all land lines in the U.S., and lay off about 10,000 workers. On the upside (?), the deal included net neutrality protections for (only) 2 years (but FCC Chairman Martin wants to make sure they never slip up on that again), along with an agreement to provide high speed internet to consumers at a rate of $19.95/mo.

Warren Bell appointed to CPB board
During the congressional recess, President Bush sneakily appointed conservative TV producer Warren Bell to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting's board of directors. After the uproar caused by former CPB director Ken Tomlinson's politically motivated ethics violations, some are worried that Bell's appointment may not have been the wisest.

Indecency Goes to Federal Court

While we were all busy fattening up babies for sacrifice to our pagan deities on the eve of the solstice, the U.S. Appeals Court in the Second Circuit (New York) took a peek at the indecency issue. Attorneys for the FCC and the Fox network argued their respective positions regarding the 2002 Billboard Music Awards broadcast, during which Cher said "Fuck 'em" in reference to her critics, and the 2003 Billboard Music Awards, when Nicole Richie explained that it wasn't "so fucking easy" to get "cow shit out of a Prada purse."

This court hearing was the moment I had been waiting for ever since the FCC's 2004 post-nipplegate freak-out: finally a group of federal judges are examining the FCC's unjust manner of assessing broadcast indecency.

Check out the expletive-laden testimony via streaming video right here on C-Span's site.

I was raising my fist in the air, yelling "fuck 'em!" at my computer, as I watched Judges Pooler, Leval, and Hall lay into the FCC's counsel pretty heavily, questioning everything from the commission's decision reversal a few months back to their repeated assertion that the V-chip is useless, despite the FCC's ongoing endorsement of the parenting tool.

The Second Circuit court did not announce when it would come to a decision on the case, but if this hearing is any indication, first amendment junkies like myself might be pleasantly surprised. Another exciting appeals case looms in the future: the Third Circuit Appeals Court will examine the 2004 Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction incident. I'm at the edge of my seat.

Dianekamikaze Craps In Her Pants

So I just got an email commenting on something I mentioned on the latest edition of DKFM. The Melvins have a new CD out - (A) Senile Animal on Ipecac, & in my backannouncing frenzy I waxed poetic about how great they were live - the last time I saw them was at Maxwell's this past October, and they really were massive, perfect and heavy all at once. A kind listener emailed me to tell me that when he saw the Melvins live he "literally" crapped his pants. This email brought back memories of when I once "literally" crapped in my pants, so here goes...

Radio News You Can't Use

Claws Come Out Over Indecency
At long last, the U.S. Court of Appeals (in both the 2nd and 3rd Circuits) is examining the FCC's shape-shifting indecency standards. Major TV networks joined together for a court battle after the last round of indecency decisions raised much confusion (the commission flip-flopped on their policies regarding profanity, nudity, and even pixelation). Broadcasters feel that these nebulous standards violate the First Amendment, and have thus filed appeals for the indecency fines they were dealt earlier this year. The courts recently granted the commission additional time to reevaluate some of their controversial decisions, an opportunity the FCC used to inadvertently strengthen the TV networks' case: they changed their minds. Arguments in the 2nd Circuit will take place on December 20.

Several groups have voiced opposition to the FCC's schizophrenic indecency enforcement, including the Center for Democracy and Technology, the Progress & Freedom Foundation, the ACLU, Screen Actors Guild, Writers Guild of America, Directors Guild of America, and the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. Not to mention the venerable FCC FU Guild. Let's hope all of this star power (and brainpower) will convince the courts that the FCC has gone overboard.

Radio listeners give up baby for PS3
A DJ on KDWB asked listeners to call in if they were willing to give up their child for 24 hours in exchange for a PS3. Much to the DJ's surprise, quite a few people called in, seriously ready to trade their baby for the video game console. The callers were disappointed to discover that the DJ was only kidding and that they'd have to shell out $800 on eBay and find a babysitter to live their dream.

FCC FU: The Anthem

The folks over at fccfu.com have come up with a lovely salute to the FCC, in song format.  "FCC FU: The Anthem" (Choral Version) (3.6 mb, mp3).  There's a video too, which you can see over here. 

More information and other versions of the Anthem can be found at fccfu.com.

Thanks to Kenzo for passing this along!

You Curse, They Decide

Ever since the right-wing christian reaction to Nipplegate in '04, the FCC has suffered chronic indigestion over the indecency issue. The commission has failed to come up with a clear policy on the broadcast of smut, leaving TV and radio stations guessing whether a split second of cartoon butt is going to set them back $325,000.

Major TV networks banded together earlier this year over the FCC's latest installment of shaky indecency enforcement, raising First Amendment concerns with a federal appeals court. Worried that these broadcasters might actually have a valid argument, the FCC did what any kid who forgot their homework would do: stall. Willingly, the appeals court granted the FCC permission to take more time to revisit a few of their recent indecency decisions in order to "clarify" matters (coughcovertheirassescough).

As if the FCC wasn't in enough of a pickle already: they willingly allowed prime-time profanity during ABC's broadcast of the fictional movie Saving Private Ryan, but fined a public community station for airing similar curse words in a blues documentary a year later... The FCC, in all of their wisdom, managed to cloud indecency rules even further this week, in a pathetic attempt to demonstrate a method behind their madness to the courts.

The commission reconsidered their decisions on four different cases of allegedly indecent TV broadcasts. Here's what the FCC re-decided, along with their justifications (I just can't bear to use the word "reasoning"). You can read their 36 page manifesto on these topics here.

1. A Survivor cast member interviewed on CBS's Early Show described another contestant as a "bullshitter." The feds initially ruled that "bullshitter" was indecent in this instance (they let it go without a fine), but this week decided that it was ok. Why the change of heart? Because the FCC must exercise "caution with respect to news programming." Miraculously, a catty reality show contestant interviewed on a morning talk program from the same network suddenly becomes legitimate news! Well, it's "news" when the FCC finds "news" a convenient label. Clever cross-marketing, perhaps, but news? The Early Show's top headlines for today include "Messy Road Ahead for Britney and K-Fed," "Winter Squash: Try Roasting It!," and "Barbaro's Cast Comes Off." News, of course. We wouldn't want the FCC watering down the news, would we?

Radio News You Can't Use

FCC Media Ownership Debate Continues
After two commissioners hosted public meetings on media ownership deregulation in L.A., NYC, and Oakland, the FCC will finally discuss this issue during their Nov. 3 Consumer Advisory Committee meeting. Although the public comment period has expired, the FCC received over 122,000 opinions. The public is largely against allowing for further media consolidation, siting a deficiency of relevant local programming and the underrepresentation of women and minorities, but Big Media sees the matter otherwise. Will the commission's pro-consolidation republican majority get their way? We'll keep you posted.

R.I.P. Bob Lassiter
Following a six-year-long battle with deteriorating health brought on by diabetes, talk radio legend Bob Lassiter passed away 10/13/06. Read Beware of the Blog's obit for Lassiter here, written by The Professor.

Air America, Bankrupt
This month, financially troubled left-wing talk radio network Air America filed for bankruptcy. On the heels of this setback, however, is the birth of a fledgling liberal talk radio network called Nova M, based in Arizona. They have already integrated some Air America programming onto their two stations, and believe that their business model will stand the test of time. 

Same Old Tricks
Just a few months after settling with NY Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, Universal was caught in another payola scheme. To boost JoJo and Nickelback's chart rankings, subsidaries of Universal paid for radio "commercials" that were actually songs by these artists.

Satellite Radio Royalty Rates
Sound Exchange, the company that has proven so efficient in distributing royalties to artists, has demanded higher royalty payments from Sirius and XM than the satellite radio companies offered to pay. More info here.

NPR vs. Satellite Radio and iPod
National Public Radio has filed a complaint against the little personal transmitters that beam an iPod or satellite radio signal from a transponder to your car stereo via radio frequency. Many of these devices were found to be non-FCC compliant, with signals strong enough to reach neighboring vehicles. NPR alleges that most devices are set to default positions low on the FM band, the area designated for non-commercial stations.

Smut via Satellite

Thanks to the 2004 Indecency Shakedown, the FCC's ever-wavering policy on fleeting instances of 'fuck', that expensive teen sex orgy on CBS, and finally the 10-fold indecency fine hike, broadcasters are on high alert to squelch just about anything that might classify as smut to someone. Many TV and radio stations are going beyond the call of duty to prevent nary a naughty thought from airing, just the beginning of this new era of self-censorship. WFMU is even broadcasting on a delay, with the addition of a bright red "delete" button which I have overcautiously employed to eliminate the song lyric "ship" far too many times to count.

While most of us small-fish community broadcasters fear that depriving listeners of seafaring nouns undermines the very core of our democracy, the big-fish TV networks are finding these first amendment concerns a convenient and compelling basis for a court battle with the FCC.

Unfortunately, the big-fish radio stations don't seem to get it. They are currently campaigning for the FCC to impose more indecency restrictions. Counterproductive? Seemingly.

The National Association of Broadcasters (NAB, a trade organization representing over 8,000 radio and TV stations) is bent on extending indecency enforcement to satellite radio. NAB's CEO submitted an embittered letter to the FCC last week (you can read it here), frustrated with the fact that profanity aired on broadcast stations is now subject to a 6-digit fine, while 'fuck' flies freely on satellite radio. Cable and satellite TV and radio remain exempt from FCC indecency regs because consumers must willingly sign up and subscribe to these services; by doing so, they are welcoming the possibility of Howard Stern's poopy talk reaching their smut-loving ears. Broadcast stations, on the other hand, are subject to FCC indecency standards because they are freely accessible to everyone... and for god's sake, The Children might be listening!