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July 10, 2009

Radio News You Can't Use

RCA_Model_143 I apologize, it's been far too long since I've used this blog to geek out on radio news. A few recent happenings have drawn me out of this whole "working in radio" thing and into talking smack about it on the internet for a few minutes!

First up: Webcasting Royalties

In case you haven't heard, webcasters and SoundExchange (the web streaming arm of the RIAA) have renegotiated terms for webcasting royalties. Instead of accepting SoundExchange's initial offer of web performance royalty rates that would surely put webcasters out of business, webcasters threw a fit (we were part of the fit), held rounds and rounds of negotiations, and over a year later accepted a new rate scheme that would only nearly put them out of business. These new terms, which for large webcasters is a minimum of 25% of annual revenue, have been lauded by some. However, if you look at typical performance royalty rates for satellite radio (6.5% in 2009), or ASCAP/BMI royalties for terrestrial radio (roughly 1 - 3%), that 25% figure starts to look bloated. Luckily for WFMU, NFCB and CPB made separate negotiations with SoundExhange including more affordable rates, and we are covered under these terms.


New FCC Chair

The Obama administration's nominee for FCC Chair, Julius Genachowski, was recently confirmed by the Senate. After outgoing FCC Chair Kevin Martin thoroughly angered congress and the public with scandalous antics like that Details magazine spread, relaxing media consolidation rules, and "losing" an important study on media ownership (and all the while leading the fight against broadcast indecency) Genachowski has some mopping up to do. The good news is, Genachowski has heard of the internet: he believes in net neutrality and might actually re-do the FCC's website to make it a little less 1996ish (more on the Genachowski team here). The bad news is, Genachowski leans towards the gestapistic view of broadcast indecency (he supports enforcing fines for fleeting profanity), and the FCC's main proponent of 1st Amendment protections, Jonathan Adelstein, will be leaving the commission soon.

July 02, 2009

Patent Quiz

After the unfortunate passing of Michael, everything from His favorite pill combos, to His child custody problems, to His music publishing issues, to His preferred brand of toothpaste have been dismembered, torn, and tossed into the final press to eek out any remaining dregs of data for the (us?) media vultures.

During this whole circus, you may have discovered that the guy from Toto actually wrote "Human Nature" (thanks Doron). Or perhaps you came across Michael's patent for "Method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion" (thanks Listener Colin & Ron) - PDF here, diagram below.

My buddy Dennis also sent along a few other patent documents filed by notable folks: images are below the jump, see if you can put a name to the images.

MJ_patent

 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Continue reading "Patent Quiz" »

June 02, 2009

Seen, but not really believed...

FuckMail This was scrawled on the wall of a post office I frequent. I can't say that MAIL is my biggest complaint in the world, but maybe I'm alone in that thought.

April 27, 2009

My Ill Na-Na

OKeefe So last week I went to the gynecologist, and before I could see the doctor I had to sign a form that said I had read the 6-page “Notice of Privacy Practices,” effective date 4/14/03. They seemed pretty surprised that I actually wanted to read the Notice before signing the form that said I had read it. So they gave me a copy, and I did read it, and I was very relieved to see the section on National Security and Intelligence Activities. I have now given permission for my gynecologist to release medical information about me to “authorized federal officials for intelligence, counterintelligence, protection of the President, other authorized persons or foreign heads of state, for purpose of determining [my] own security clearance and other national security activities authorized by law.” I hope it makes the President and all those other foreign heads of state (Stephen Harper! Hugo Chavez! Kim Jong-il!) sleep better, to know that my ladyparts are thriving.

Thanks for reading my blogpost this time, and may God bless.


April 15, 2009

You’ll Never Walk Alone

Images Twenty years ago today Liverpool was playing Nottingham Forest in an FA Cup semi-final soccer match at Sheffield Wednesday’s Hillsborough stadium. There was construction work on the main highway from Liverpool to Sheffield and a lot of fans arrived late, just minutes before the game was scheduled to start. There was a big crowd at the turnstiles, and a lot of shoving as people made their way through a narrow tunnel that led to the standing-room pens behind one of the goalposts.

In retrospect, there were a lot of things that could have been done: The game could have been delayed; the fans could have been directed into less-crowded pens; the police could have pulled their heads out of their asses. Instead, there was a perfect storm of crowd hysteria, police stupidity, and bad stadium design. 96 men, women, and children died, some by being stomped on and crushed and some by compressive asphyxiation (they remained standing, but couldn’t breathe). Meanwhile, the soccer game started promptly at 3:00 and went on as the fans were slaughtered; the referees didn’t order the players off the field until 3:06.

In the aftermath, there was the obligatory government inquiry, an inquest that failed to take into account anything that happened after 3:15 that day, and the early retirement (with full pensions) of some of the police. One of Rupert Murdoch's so-called newspapers blamed the victims.

BBC News’ UK Web site has video of some survivors today; I thought Damian Kavanagh's segment was particularly moving. And most of the memorials feature an old Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the Broadway musical “Carousel,” which for some reason has been associated with Liverpool F.C. since the early 1960s.

Thanks for reading today’s News of the Dead blog post, and may God bless.

April 13, 2009

Hope and Change in the Exhume-Me State

QuarterHarry Stonebraker was well-liked in Winfield, Missouri (population 723). Last week he was about to finish his third 2-year term as mayor of the town, was running for a fourth term, and was pretty much expected to win. And he did win, by a landslide—90%. He didn’t let the fact that he was dead keep him down, nosirree. Elaine Luck, Lincoln County clerk, said, “I figured he’d win because he seemed to get even more popular after he died, just like Carnahan.” County Clerk Ms. Luck was referring, of course, to Democrat Mel Carnahan, who was elected U.S. Senator from Missouri in 2000 after dying in a plane crash. (Carnahan defeated Republican incumbent John Ashcroft, of “Let the Eagle Soar” fame.)

Can I never cared much for Missouri when I was growing up in a much-better neighboring state, and I really grew to dislike it during the year or so that I actually had to live there. I felt weird and out-of-place, although they did have the cheapest beer I’ve ever seen anywhere (Buckhorn, $3.00 a 6-pack), a lot of pinball machines, and the Kansas City Art Institute. But that was long before Missouri opened up the electoral process to dead candidates. Maybe now I’d get along there; after all, some of my best friends are dead people.

Thanks for reading my blog post this time, and may God bless.

April 07, 2009

Kustom Kompilation: War Pigs

Black sabbath In 1970, Black Sabbath created what I consider to be the ultimate anti-war song.  Far from a whiny, folksy, gently phrased call to resistance, "War Pigs" is an electric nightmare, heavily drenched in gloom, placing war in its deserved, real-life horror context, and re-casting our generals (and by extension, our statesmen) as "sorcerer(s) of death's construction." The song is a perennial rock anthem, and its riff-vocal-riff-vocal call/response pattern in the verses must be familiar to almost everyone in the world.

In 2003, swollen with frustration over the new Iraq war (which continues to rage on in idiocy), I was inspired to create a compilation of my favorite versions of the Sabbath classic, as well as render a deconstruction of my own (see track 5.) The compilation was purely subjective and is not intended to be comprehensive at all, hence the exclusion of versions by Rondellus, Gov't Mule, Sacred Reich and Hayseed Dixie. Since 2003, I have added a very worthy interpretation by Cake (complete with Latin brass.) Obviously, all these versions meet my standard, but I'm especially fond of the opener, by hardcore-techno-gabber freaks Doormouse.

War Pigs, by:

Doormouse | Faith No More | PIG | Slaves on Dope | Sinistre! | Cake

Download CD insert / artwork

If you have a Facebook login, you can join the Death and Hatred to Mankind FB Group—where our discourse on this great song can continue indefinitely....

March 01, 2009

The Inauguration String Quartet Revealed (video)

YouTube: [link]

January 25, 2009

Cassetteboy vs. Obama - We Are The World (MP3)

Obama Who'd have thought that Rupert Murdoch-owned newspaper The Times would commission an Obama remix by none other than Cassetteboy? And yet that is exactly what happened last week, you can watch it here.

It doesn't seem to be possible to extract the video to post or embed it here, but I was at least able to get you an audio version in MP3: Cassetteboy vs. Obama - We Are The World

December 16, 2008

Blagojevich!

Blag_3
Living in Chicago, I have been obsessed with Rod Blagojevich ever since his campaign posters plastered the city years ago. Like Gefilta Fish, it's a name I love to repeat over and over again...BLA-GOY-A-VICH...BLAG-OYA-VICH...BLA-GO-YAV-ICH. It's an ugly word that rolls around the mouth like a pair of soiled underwear, tumbling around your tongue and throat until you suffocate in glottal spasms.

...and of course the fluffy hair helmet, the creepy grin, the hilariously coarse Chicago accent...and this picture from my friend Andy Beaman.

December 08, 2008

Numismaticism Update 2008

Ak I got my first Alaska quarter last week and it had a big old grizzly bear on it, which was kind of neat but it seemed to put an end to my hopes of seeing a US state quarter with THREE buffaloes. Kansas came out with their one-buffalo quarter in 2005Ks , and then North Dakota upped the ante with their two-buffalo quarter in 2006. Nd There were still some buffalo-possible states that could have come through with three buffalo—either Montana or Wyoming seemed kind of likely—but they didn’t. (If you are a true numismaticist fanaticist, you can check my blog post from April, 2007 to see what happened with Montana.) Anyway, once Alaska came in with the grizzly, the only one left was buffalo-unlikely Hawaii—OR SO I THOUGHT. But no!

Nmariana It turns out that 2009 is gonna be the year of the Commemorative Quarters of the District of Columbia and United States Territories! I vote for the three-buffalo quarter from Guam! The Northern Mariana Islands! (Where?) It’s up to you, American Samoa! C’mon, Puerto Rico! Show us your buffalo!

2009 is gonna be the greatest numismatic year EVER.

Thanks for reading my blog post this week, and may God bless.

December 06, 2008

Raymond Lyman, The Scranton Avenger (videos)

Raymond Lyman has a problem.  Let me rephrase that: Raymond Lyman has many problems.  But I'll get to that in a moment. 

City Council meetings in Scranton, Pennsylvania just wouldn't be the same without the city's most illustrious local schnook.  Nestled among the many barriers to justice Lyman faces--large drifts of snow after a massive storm are totally blocking off the stop signs but the city doesn't send out its plows...we get the stupid, underpaid DPW guys plowing the street near Ray's favorite local greasy spoon; weakly enforced ordinances--the worst of them he was put on this earth to crush are the city council members themselves.

Videos start after the jump.

Continue reading "Raymond Lyman, The Scranton Avenger (videos)" »

November 08, 2008

Three Really Bad Obama Videos For Three Really Bad Obama Songs (videos)

I have some good news and I have some bad news.  The good news is the people have spoken.  Bad news?  They've also sung

Love givin' for our new President-Elect may not have come as hard or as fast from here as it did from those far reaches of Earth kids in school here still can't locate on a map.  But it came worse.  And there would have been far more from whence below vids came if time and work constraints hadn't kept me from the unmitigated joy of posting them.  These three vids are insidiously bad.  In other words, pure sweet gold

Inhale (and he actually DID) to the Chief-Elect!!!

November 05, 2008

Electile Dysfunction '08 Archives

Buffalo If you missed out on WFMU's special Election Day webstream, fear not! Electile Dysfunction '08 archives are available right here.

Enter WFMU's all-spin zone of political music, comedy, commentary, and audio art with your favorite DJs. You can check your hologram interviews at the door.

Thanks to Hatch for spearheading this effort!

November 04, 2008

Photoshop Contest Winner!

A few weeks ago, Reuters gave us a gift:

Mixmaster_mccain












And with this gift, WFMU told the people to remix the hell out of it. Now in honor of election day, we are prepared to announce our photoshop contest winner: Brian C! Congrats to Brian, and everyone who participated in the contest, clogging my inbox with more McCain tongue than I could shake a lollipop at.

Ralphie_mccain

November 03, 2008

WFMU's Electile Dysfunction '08

If you liked WFMU's RNC Remix in 2004, you're going to love what we've got in store for Election Day. While our normal Tuesday programming airs online and over the airwaves, we'll be running a separate webstream to appease our most politically-obsessed listeners. WFMU's Electile Dysfunction '08 features political music, comedy, commentary, and audio art. And when the first polls close at 6pm, we'll bring you live election returns coverage hosted by Chris T., Billy Jam, Clay Pigeon, and Evan "Funk" Davies. The full schedule is after the jump.

Continue reading "WFMU's Electile Dysfunction '08" »

October 22, 2008

Where's Neil?

Brolin I haven’t been to a movie in so long that I can’t remember the last one I went to. Borat, maybe? But last weekend Sluggo and I went with a friend to see W. Our friend hated it, but we thought it was okay. It wasn’t the serious documentary our friend apparently wanted it to be, and it wasn’t a point-at-the-monkey laugh riot either. I thought the music editing was brilliant, and I thought the complete absence of Neil Bush was bizarre. If all you knew about the Bush family came from this movie, you would not even know that Neil Bush exists, even though you would know about Marvin Bush, and who ever heard of him before? He never cost taxpayers $1 Billion by playing banker at the savings and loan.

I read in the Daily News that some white people may not vote for Barak Obama because they’re racists and don’t believe a black man is capable of straightening out the economy. But why not? It wasn’t black people who screwed it up. It was white Christian conservatives like George W. Bush who destroyed the entire world economy in just 8 years of unregulated “capitalism.” (And then, as soon as his white Christian conservative capitalist friends started losing money, he nationalized the banks.) It’s hard to see how a half-white Christian liberal could do any worse than that. Todd And how come the Republicans have quit talking about how Sarah Palin’s husband is mixed-race? He’s, like, a quadra-mo or an Eski-roon or something. But you never hear about it anymore.

Today it came out that the Republican National Committee spent over $150,000 to make Palin and her family presentable for the campaign. I can’t believe they spent so much to put lipstick on that pig! They could have been using that money for Cindy McCain’s botox. Then there’s the investigation into how Palin fired the Alaska Public Safety Commissioner because he wouldn’t fire her estranged brother-in-law: The investigation committee determined that Palin had abused her power and broken ethics laws. So then she started announcing at all her rallies that she’s relieved to have been “cleared of all wrong-doing.” Gal_palin Somebody better tell the RNC to buy some more lipstick—they’ve got a lot to cover up.

Thanks for reading my blogpost this time, and may God bless.

October 08, 2008

Virginia Is For Lovers

Hands down, my favorite recording of the year...

THAT ONE '08!

ImagesIf there isn't somebody out there right now producing T-shirts and bumper stickers that say THAT ONE 2008, there should be. (You can send mine to me c/o WFMU.)

October 07, 2008

Number Five? You Want Spicy?

Aaccordians On Saturday, Listener Egmont picked us up in his big, comfy vehicle and we drove to Brooklyn to see “Angels and Accordions” at Green-Wood Cemetery. First, though, we drove into Sunset Park, just a little ways from where I used to live in Bush Terminal (under the Gowanus Expressway, near all those once-abandoned industrial buildings). It’s been a long tim since I was out there, and I couldn’t get over how much it’s changed. Not that it’s gentrified or anything, but it doesn’t look completely bombed out anymore—there are actual stores there now, and restaurants. We ate in one, but I don’t have the name because it was in Vietnamese.

Durian It was a very rudimentary storefront-type place, with a counter along the back wall, a few plastic chairs and tables around the perimeter in front, and a big empty space in the middle. The menu was limited to just a few items, six or seven sandwiches, with their numbered pictures hanging above the counter and a list of drinks that included a durian milkshake—durian being that fruit that reportedly smells like rotting meat. Normally I am all about trying new things, but the idea of a rotting-meat milkshake in a storefront in my old neighborhood was a bit much, even for me.

Listener Egmont and Sluggo had lychee milkshakes, which they raved about, and I had a milk bubble tea with more big, black tapioca pearls than I could finish. The sandwiches were killer, too. We’re trying to think of other reasons to go back to that neighborhood now, just so we can eat those banh mi again. Maybe if the economy continues on its present course we will all end up living there—you, too!—and then we will have delicious Vietnamese sandwiches every day.

Greenwood Following our excellent lunch we went down to Green-Wood to see the performance. It began just inside the main arch of the entrance, with Guy Klucevsek playing an accordion piece he’d written especially for “Angels and Accordions.” Dancers from Dance Theatre Etcetera—half dressed all in white (ghosts or spirits, I thought, but maybe angels) and half dressed all in black (mourners) performed to the music. I kind of liked the dance, but Sluggo thought it was sort of corny. Listener Egmont pointed out that all dance is sort of corny, and we all agreed on that.

Greenwoodparrots About halfway through, there was a great squeaking and squawking from above, and I looked up and saw flashes of brilliant green and metallic teal coming in and out of some enormous bird nests built all around the spires of the archway. Even more surprising than the hyphen in Green-Wood is the fact that the famous Feral Parakeets of Brooklyn are welcome at the cemetery because their poop doesn’t wreck the stonework the way pigeon poo does. (Here is a link to some info about the birds, in case you don’t know about them.) Some Web sites call them parakeets and some say they are parrots, but I prefer the former because Feral Parakeets sounds more ridiculous and also because when I lived in Portland, Oregon, we used to visit a place we called the Parakeet Mausoleum. It was a huge building full of dead people filed away in giant drawers, with dozens and dozens of parakeets in cages all over. There was also a stairway to nowhere, a large stained-glass window of Abraham Lincoln, and a statue attributed to some woman who was described as “Iowa’s preeminent sculptress,” although I grew up in Iowa and I’d never heard of her. So—the parakeet, bird of the dead. Of course.

After the short dance piece the rest of Angels and Accordions consisted of a lot of walking around and looking at excessively earnest young people in solemn tableaux vivant. I think it must be extremely difficult to look earnest and solemn while doing trapeze tricks in a tree in a cemetery, but they managed. There was a bit of accordion music here and there, but no more Guy Klucevsek. I gather from reading reviews of past performances that Angels and Accordions has changed a good deal from when it was first presented four years ago. Alas.

Mcc On the way home in the big, comfy vehicle we started discussing politics. I said how odd it seemed that the big front-page breaking-news headline in every newspaper after the vice-presidential debate was that the candidate of a major political party actually spoke in complete sentences. (Now, of course, Candidate Palin is going around claiming she meant to sound like an idiot in the Couric interviews.) Listener Egmont said that when he watched the presidential debate (the first one) he was surprised that McCain sounded so old—not old as in his age, but old in his ideas, with his 20th-Century Cold-War point of view about everything. You know how some people get stuck at whatever music was popular when they were young? They really liked the Rolling Stones or something, and now that music, and music from that era, and bands who sound like bands from that era, and tribute bands who play that kind of music are all they’ll listen to? And they don’t know anything about any music that’s happened in the last 40 or 30 or 20 years? I think maybe the same thing happens with people’s political ideas sometimes. It explains why some people are still fretting about things that have become punch lines in real life. So I guess it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the debate tonight.

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Logo Contest 2008

  • Robin Hendrickson 6 - Contest Winner!
    WFMU held a logo design contest in June, and we received an outpouring of great submissions. Check 'em out!

Guitar Face

  • Gf36
    Scott Williams' tribute to the facial expressions that squeeze those notes out of guitars.