WFMU's Beware of the Blog

White Mic Fever!

I Believe That (Stoned) Children Are Our Future

While Dr. Seuss may have quietly but most assuredly extolled the virtues of LSD, some kids' authors are being a little less subtle when it comes to the Sweet Leaf. Follow the pictoral excerpts from the new publication It's Just A Plant and get involved in your kids' choices. Bryce thinks maybe this kid has already made her choice. However, I think what really should be outlawed is taking your kid bike riding wearing Sgt. Pepper garb, but who am I to judge. (Thanks for link, Tom Lax.)

Rocky VI (video)

Twenty years before Sylvester Stallone revived the Rocky franchise in 2006 for the sixth installment of the series, Finnish director Aki Kaurismäki shot a short film called "Rocky VI". It was Kaurismäki's spoof of "Rocky IV" which had come out in 1985. In the words of the director, it was his "revenge on Mr. Stallone, who I think is an asshole". Here is the complete 8 minute thing.

If this doesn't work for you, try it on YouTube. By the way, it is about time that someone release all the great classic Kaurismäki movies on DVD in the US.  Not even "Leningrad Cowboys Go America" is available in region code 1. Criterion, do you hear this?

"An Airplane Can Throw Flowers on You, But A Kamikaze Fun Machine Can Save Your Life"

The WFMU / Exchange Place PATH guerrilla strikes again.  Prior community outreach here and here.

Left coast got struck here.

Listen to Diane's Kamikaze Fun Machine here.

Read Diane on The Blog here.

Zooooom:

Danger! Canadians Ahead!

WARNING: These Canadian "Prevent It" Public Service Announcements are not for the squeamish:

The Saint Louis Metro Evening Whirl: The Greatest Newspaper Ever Printed

Wangstas, here's a caveat: Don't mess with the Whirl with the balls its got.

First-degree murderer?  This 50,000 subscriber local crime fighting publication says it's your ass!  Armed criminal action?  You best stop sitting on the edge of the bed and picking your feet in Poughkeepsie (or "East Boogie") 'cause the St. Louis Metro Evening Whirl's got a hunch that you're a yella son of a bitch who better start running.  (The actual home website's right here; only problem is you can't access the "more" link at the end of the Leonard Taylor story nor any of the stories "under construction" as the site is still in the process of getting established (siiiiiigh), making this site not particularly worth navigating.  This 2004 Riverfront Times article and the Whirl's MySpace page will be of much better help in acquainting you with this uproariously entertaining paper).

The CKLW 20-20 News/Quahog 5 News of tabloid newsprint publications, the Whirl's police blotter-style capsule reporting continues in their 70 year-long standing tradition, still going about nine steps further--nine very risky steps--than blotters in your daily slickly pretentious, impersonal Chicago Tribunes, Washington Posts or my city-of-residence's dearly beloved Post-Dispatch.  This November 2006 article from Believer (a great literature mag in print form and on-line published by McSweeney's) chronicles the Whirl's history.  Original founder Benjamin Thomas ripped into St. Louis's crimelords seeking mayoral runs and teachers gettin' busy with students (the story that gave birth to the Whirl; two high school teachers brought a group of boys to the country for picnic and were alleged to have sexually assaulted them) with an explicit aplomb that would shock readers today. 

FEMA B Txtn Me, OMG!!! ;)

Our nation's Emergency Alert System (EAS) was created by the FCC, FEMA, and the National Weather Service to warn the public about imminent danger in the form of important weather announcements, civil emergencies, and Presidential messages. Broadcasters are required to maintain and participate in the EAS system, airing any and all messages the feds fancy us to relay to the listening public.

Here at WFMU, we joke a lot about the EAS. In recent years, the system accidentally called for an evacuation of the entire state of Connecticut, failed to pass on any announcements whatsoever on 9/11, and warned folks along the Delaware River about a flood by requiring broadcasters in the area to announce that "A civil authority has issued a civil emergency." Though we must admit, the EAS warning for Hurricane Katrina was indeed accurate, and carried an appropriate doomsday-esque tone, the system is far from perfect, a fine example of bureaucracy getting in the way of good intentions. Hence, all of those "Unknown Event" or "Marine Sector" warning messages you hear WFMU DJs read over the air from time to time.

Ken warned us about this 2 years ago, but yesterday the feds finally approved a plan to send EAS messages to our nation's cell phones via text messages. And what's even better than getting a government-sanctioned emergency text message? The message will be delivered with its own unique ringtone! Will it be "The Imperial March"? Will it be "Carmina Burana"? How about "The Macarena"?

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for more text message spam! There are 3 types of txts that the gov't can send you:

1. Presidential messages. For example: "Dis bbq s orsum!", "w@ did Putin sA?"

2. Imminent threats. Example: "OMG Tornado, fnd Toto n run 4 covR! :("

3. Amber Alerts. Example: "12 y/o abductd, blk van, NJ pl8s"

Rest assured, you'll be able to opt out of this new EAS wonder... but good god, why deny yourself?!

Can on German TV 1971 (video)

This is a great German TV special from 1971, featuring Krautrock legends Can doing some avant-gardish things, playing foosball (better known under the name "table football" in Europe), jamming around, and talking about socialism and music. The clip is taken from a 1999 Can documentary (which you can order with some other goodies on DVD at Spoon Records). I don't know whether the introduction is from the same program, but it was just too good to leave out.

For slightly better quality, you can download the video (32 meg MPEG-4).

Grindin’ a Rail with Jesus

I’m not a Catholic, so the impending visit of Pope Benedict XVI to New York wasn’t especially high on the Killing Time Watch List. But then I found out about the Papal Skateboard Art Design Contest! If only I were 11-18 years of age and living in the Archdiocese of New York, I could design some artwork for the Official Papal Skateboard. No, wait—I mean THE OFFICIAL PAPAL SKATEBOARD!

There are some rules, of course. You can only use four (4—they give you the numeral, in case the word is confusing) FOUR colors: Papal Gold, Satanic Black, Holy Ghost White, and Bleeding Wounds of Christ Red. (I made up the names, except for Papal Gold—that one’s real.) And they would really, really like you to use the official motto, “Christ Our Hope” on it, and they would especially really, really like you to incorporate the official Papal Visit Logo which is a photograph of the Pope and an abstract design of the dome of St. Peter’s Basillica, and three big long lines of copy. They would really like you to get that all onto the “convex side” of the skateboard (and then they explain that’s the bottom side, like you don’t know where the art goes).

I think they must have asked a professional designer to incorporate all those elements, and when the pro told them it was impossible, they turned to the blessed, innocent children to create a Miraculous Official Papal Skateboard Design. And the Miraculous Official Papal Skateboard Design artwork is going to be put on THE OFFICIAL PAPAL SKATEBOARD and it will be presented to Pope Benedict as a gift from the Youth of the Archdiocese of New York, and the winning designer gets three (3) tickets to the Papal Youth Ralley at Saint Joseph’s Seminary in Yonkers on Saturday, April 19. 2008. (They put the year in, just in case.) And why three (3) tickets? Maybe it’s so your Mom and Dad can go with you. But if that’s the case, why not nine (9) tickets so you can take your six (6) Catholic brothers and sisters, too? Where are they gonna go while you’re off seeing the Pope with Mom and Dad?

The best thing about the Official Papal Skateboard Design contest is some of the designs ostensibly submitted already. You can see them all at the Web site. I really love the ones where you can see the graphite pencil lines. Seriously. Although some of these were allegedly drawn by, like, 15-year-olds.

And the second best thing about the Official Papal Skateboard Design contest is imagining the Pope Benedict episode of my favorite TV show, Scarred.

Thanks for reading my blog post this time, and may God bless.

Three from Old Школа (School) Russia

1972 Belorussian Folk-Psych under what appears to be extreme pressure:

Static traffic cam on a major intersection in St. Petersburg:

"His Wife Is A Chicken:"

Grammatical Adventure on the E Train

If you saw a flyer boasting "Prostitution Reform" crumpled up on the floor of the E train, you'd pick it up, too. Dirt, footprints, grammatical errors, and a most confusing message... nothing could have provided more entertainment for Maria Levitsky and I, who giggled all the way home.

I challenge any of you grammar geeks out there to take a stab at this. Download the PDFs:  front  |  back

Don't be assholes, America: Meet Mitt

From the folks at black20.com

Arrested Development Movie

Let me add my voice to the chorus in saying: please, please let this be true. I have never watched Keith Olbermann but if he makes this much sense every time he speaks maybe the guy isnt so bad after all.

Now RIAA wants $1.5 million if you copy a CD

Nate Anderson @ ars technica writes:

Not content with the current (and already massive) statutory damages allowed under copyright law, the RIAA is pushing to expand the provision. The issue is compilations, which now are treated as a single work. In the RIAA's perfect world, each copied track would count as a separate act of infringement, meaning that a copying a ten-song CD even one time could end up costing a defendant $1.5 million if done willfully. Sound fair? Proportional? Necessary? Not really, but that doesn't mean it won't become law.

The change to statutory damages is contained in the PRO-IP Act that is currently up for consideration in Congress. We've reported on the bill before, noting that Google's top copyright lawyer (and the man who wrote a seven-volume treatise on the subject of copyright law), William Patry, called the bill the most "outrageously gluttonous IP bill ever introduced in the US."

The industries pushing it (music, especially) have an "unslakable lust for more and more rights, longer terms of protection, draconian criminal provisions, and civil damages that bear no resemblance to the damages suffered," he said.

Read full article @ ars technica

DJ/Rupture now has a podcast!

WFMU is pleased to have added a new podcast to our ever-expanding roster: we're now podcasting DJ/Rupture's weekly show, Mudd Up!

Head over to our podcast page to sign yourself up for a weekly dose of Cumbia, Dubstep, Maghrebi, sound collage, expert turntablism, and a smattering of fun guest DJs.

For a quick fix, open up iTunes, go to the Advanced menu, and select Subscribe to Podcast. Paste in this URL and hit OK:
http://wfmu.org/podcast/DR.xml

Be sure to also check out DJ/Rupture's blog, record label Soot, and his latest collaborations with Andy Moor (of The Ex).

The Seize-ing Sounds of Sean Paul

This story is making today's headlines about a woman who had brain surgery because "her favorite artist" almost made her swallow her tongue. I don't know where to start -- is this a condemnation of the monotone white boy from Kingston or is Sean Paul's publicist trying to make a nice salmon mousse mold out of grey matter?

Honestly, how can you even claim to enjoy music fully without the occasional symptoms like: grand or petit mal, incontinence, anxiety attack, priapism, low frequency nausea, chest pains, boogie fever, cold sweat, and the like? Tell us your symptoms!

I Want Ron Paul to Bear Our Children

Darren Garnick lives in New Hampshire with a camera and a baby. He’s had some attention lately for his little project in which he attempted to take a picture of his baby with every New Hampshire presidential primary candidate. That’s what he said the project was, anyway. And he proudly announced on Slate
“As of the day before Tuesday’s primary, I’ve photographed Dahlia [the baby] with every candidate except Fred Thompson.”

Except he hadn’t.

He photographed Dahlia with Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, Dennis Kucinich, and Barack Obama (twice). He did not even try to take a picture of the baby with Mike Gravel, because he thinks Mike Gravel is “creepy.” Garnick doesn’t say what that means, but maybe he should have said his project was to photograph Dahlia with every non-creepy New Hampshire presidential candidate.

Garnick said he didn’t photograph the baby with Fred Thompson, because Fred Thompson wasn’t in New Hampshire very much. So maybe he should have said his project was to photograph his baby with every non-creepy New Hampshire presidential candidate who spent a considerable amount of time in the state.

The Republican candidates with whom Garnick did photograph his baby were Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney, and Mike Huckabee—AND Chuck Norris. So perhaps the project would be better described as “Darren Garnick attempts to photograph his baby with every non-creepy New Hampshire presidential candidate who spent a considerable amount of time in the state, and with at least one amusing celebrity sidekick.” But NOWHERE does Darren Garnick even mention Ron Paul. No one ever does. It reminds me of the old B-52’s song that goes, “Why won’t you dance with me? I’m not no limberger!” Garnick didn’t mention John Cox, Duncan Hunter, or Alan Keyes either, but they didn’t beat Giuliani in Iowa.

So in the end the project probably should have been called “Darren Garnick attempts to photograph his baby with every non-creepy New Hampshire presidential candidate who spent a considerable amount of time in the state, and with at least one amusing celebrity sidekick, but not with the Republican candidate who came in fourth in the Iowa caucuses.” But if he called it that, it probably wouldn’t have got so much press coverage.

John Ford Box Set is NOT Genital Warts And All.

When I saw the humongous saddle sized John Ford Box set on the floor of the office next door, I was seized by swag envy. "Ford At Fox" (link) is a 12 pound 299 dollar 21 disc box set collecting 24 films by one of the greatest directors of them all: John Ford. This is a very impressive collection - and a few of the old silents are making their DVD debut (from new restored prints too!). I am sure the photo book is beautiful as well. To keep my jealous rage in check I scanned the dark corners of the internets and discovered to my delight that 23 of the films are readily available, as well as some of the films that should be included in any box this size: The Black Watch, Men Without Women. But It is great to see the films Ford made during World War II included in this release (especially since both Ford and Fox Studio Boss Darryl F. Zanuck signed up for service)  but wait! If you want these films you need to buy the stand alone version of the documentary Becoming John Ford (link) (in the big box) to get the films The Battle Of Midway, December 7th, and Torpedo Squadron (not in the big box). 

BUT what is missing from all of the hoopla is a WWII era training film John Ford made with Otto Brower : Sex Hygiene (link) This is abstinence education 1942 style - Sexual Shock and Awe to remind the troops that screwing only leads to disfigured genitals - even today this film can inspire celibacy. You can watch this formerly classified movie on the Internet Archive (link) without spending a cent, or you can watch it right here and right now:

 

Good News from the FCC

Hello, Everybody—Nice Seeing You Again.

The Federal Communications Commission recently announced a new ruling that will allow cross-ownership of both a newspaper and a radio station in the same top-20 market, because obviously there are no more conflicts of interest now that there’s no more free speech. This is good news for us, because now WFMU can buy the New York Times (aka the Big Grey Pack o’ Lies) and fix it. As far as I know, the Times is the only newspaper ever to inspire an almost-monthly magazine (“Lies of Our Times”) just to correct its blatant inaccuracies and distortions, although that was before the Times decided to run their own 2-page mea culpas for everything they print. (My favorite correction was the one where they apologized for misidentifying Mickey Mouse as Minnie Mouse .) I figure we’ll put DJ Kenny G in charge of plagiarism, and Program Director Brian will edit the Style section (I’ve read some of his fashion reports and they are really scary), and DJ Mr. Billy Jam can write the Home and Gardening stuff because I think he must know a lot about hydroponics and growing things indoors under lights. Station Manager Ken can be in charge of the Sports section and write all about water skiing, and we’ll start a new section called “Chimps of the Times” that DJ Dave the Spazz will edit. I’ll handle Obituaries and the Book Review, of course, and soon everybody will be reading “Ulrich Haarburste’s Novel of Roy Orbison in Clingfilm.” This is going to be a really, really good thing, and the only way it could be better would be if we pay for it with Ron Paul dollars
—the second-most popular currency in the United States!

Thanks for reading my blog post this time, and may God Bless.

Stoned Hippies Chant Hare Krishna In Field

Diangle just shared some new-to-me Family footage from 1971’s Glastonbury festival.  I had been unaware that so many giants played there (Gong, Fairport Convention and Arthur Brown, to name a few) and was awed at the great Glastonbury Fayre documentary.  Italy's Akarma has pricey boxed reissues available, but a whole lot of clips are available in your tub.

I’m most interested in this more religious portion of the movie, which culminates in a speech by Prem Rawat.  This is why pagan hippys are my favorite hippys – you get the feeling the fayre was more of a religious gathering than a music festival.  Must be the “powerful magnetic fields” that connect Glastonbury to Stone Henge.

Prem Rawat was only thirteen at the time, but DOG!  Great speaker, he acts like a prophet! “If the God is equal, if the God is one and God is same, then His Knowledge will be also equal.  And it cannot be attained by going to different sects, it is within you.”

I remember that God is definitely not within when I hear Rawat say “to go anywhere, you need some money, some pounds…my pounds are the love and the devotion pounds that can only be attained by your bank.”  I shit my pants when I heard that!  Just to get this straight: people are animals and we're all utterly alienated from God.  Brilliant at thirteen, Rawat’s newish Words Of Peace series smacks of typical new-agey-self-help flufff.

365 Days #335 - National Safety Council Records (mp3s)

Six scratchy pop-filled 33 1/3 rpm records (to accompany a filmstrip or slides?) from the National Safety Council (in collaboration with the United States Department of Labor on 5 of the discs) from well over 50 years ago.

Open for Infection - Part 1 (8:24)
Open for Infection - Part 2 (7:31)
Image: Open for Infection

Follow The Leader - Part 1 (9:14)
Follow The Leader - Part 2 (9:34)
Image: Follow The Leader

Right Dress - Part 1 (10:23)
Right Dress - Part 2 (10:28)
Image: Right Dress

Principles and Interest - Part 1 (10:03)
Principles and Interest - Part 2 (8:53)
Image: Principles and Interest

Stop, Look and Listen - Part 1 (8:29)
Stop, Look and Listen - Part 2 (7:54)
Image: Stop, Look and Listen

Production with Safety - Part 1 (8:50)
Production with Safety - Part 2 (7:53)
Image: Production with Safety

Picked up the lot at a second hand furniture store in Oakland, California in 2005. The shopkeeper pointed to me a corner of broken down tables and chairs and cabinets that were free and on the way out the door. I took a look figuring I could always use something (or possibly restore something). It was all trash, but... looking inside a small side table cabinet I saw a box in the far back. I pulled it out and dusted it off and looked inside and there they were, these 6 records. No paper sleeves, just the vinyl and layers of dust about them. I asked the store owner how much and (bless her heart) she let me have them for free. So here they are. For two years they have been collecting dust at my home so it's about time they got shared, for everyone's safety.

- Contributed by: Otis Fodder

it's a fucking toy, morons

We need to "dialogue" with these people.

You go first.

Update (12/10): Desperately seeking asylum.

Update (12/18): Blogger action!

New Crap Added to WFMU's Online Store!

That's right, just as the annual season of consumption gets underway, WFMU has added new crapola to our online store.

Lay your hands on a fabulous Creepy Meatball shirt! Spread WFMU propaganda with our sticker and postcard pack! Check out our DVD compilation of short and strange videos, WFMU's Celluloid Babylon! Learn about our sordid past with a set of Great Moments in WFMU History cards!

Or if those items don't fulfill your wildest fantasies, we've got beer coasters, live CDs, magnets, cassette tapes (!), lunchboxes, and other fine treats to browse right here.

Because nothing says "happy holidays" like an Eat Flaming Death, Fascist Media Pigs! t-shirt.

T-Mobile owns Magenta

T-Mobile has begun suing several companies in the Netherlands who use Magenta in their corporate identities claiming that it violates their trademark. In response a new social movement has been created to deal with the color's appropriation: Free Magenta.

Something similar happened a few years ago when Orange, a mobile provider in the UK, got litigous with another company using the color orange in their advertisements. It also reminds me of when Warren G sued Garth Brooks for trademark infringement for using the letter "G" in his ads. Pretty ridiculous.(via cpluv)

$1 Records Ahoy!

Here are a few shots of the thousands of dollar records that WFMU will be hauling to the Record & CD Fair this weekend.

Kinda makes the pulse jump, doesn't it?